I'd like to share my story

Hi everyone. My name is Melody. I had open bypass surgery Dec. 7 with Dr. Anez. I just wanted to share my story and introduce myself. The night of my surgery I collapsed in the bathroom of the hospital. The nurses seemed to think it was alright to let me walk alone to the restroom . My husband found me laying flat on my stomach my head sticking up (chin on the floor). Blood on my face....urine all over the floor. I was in shock. According to him...I looked dead. My eyes were wide open..I was not responsive. I came to....they decided to take a catscan of my head??? Of course it came out fine. My husband kept asking them to take one of my stomach because I was flat on my stomach and there was blood in my nose and I believe mouth. The next day I was in the room with my mother. Again the nurses seemed to think I didnt need help going to the rest room. I sat down on the toilet and immedietly felt as if life was draining from my body...I kept feeling like I needed to pass a stool I screamed for my mother to come in and she held me as I slowly blacked out. I woke up in the bathroom to a lot of nurses and Dr's I remeber looking back as they picked me up and the toilet was filled with blood (700+ cc's of blood ) . During the time of in and out of consiousness.....I saw a white horse and it was coming to get me.....I saw beautiful things....I kept telling my mom that I didnt want to leave....but I felt I was dying. The staff quickly took me to ICU had and endoscopy.....apparently I was bleeding internally for almost 2 days....filled with blood .....my memory is a little vague but I spent 1 week bleeding through my stool...I lost a lot of blood...my vitals kept going down and down.....I had 16 or more bags of blood transfued....two endoscopies one for the catorization and then another to check why the transfusions were not affecting me. That last time they put a tube down my nose and blood drained from there. I had IV's in both arms....hundreds of blood sticks...my body was so tired. There were time where I just wanted to sleep and not wake up. They finally sent me home in a week so I could recuperate at home. I still bleed internally for a few days after I was home. Let me tell you all....it was really rough. I'm only 26 years old and the devistating part of this is I have a 4 year old daughter who I felt would loose her mother because of a selfish desision to have this surgery. Now, 4 months post op....I know I did this for herand it wasnt selfish. I was 230 pounds only 4'11 ...I couldnt move my body without it hurting . I was a miserable mother. I look back and emotionally I am scared....I have flash backs of horrible things I went through....but I can honestly say now that it was worth it. I suffered..my family suffered.....several ICU nurses suffered...so now I have to be responsible enough to respect this tool that was given to me. I'm am so thankful for my life. I am scared of others going through this. I dont understand why this happend . But my daughter still has her mother...my mother and father still have their daughter.....my brother still has his only sibbling...my husband still has his wife..and so on. Thank you all for listening. I was waiting for the right moment to talk about this....I'm finally ready. :angel: