Celebrating 1 year anniversary!
Hi everyone! I wanted to post this on my actual anniversary, but alas, I came down with strep throat.... so here I am a few days late.
I remember reading on the boards people's posts about 1 yr and 2 yr. anniversaries, and wondering if I'd even be approved for the surgery. I envied them, with all that behind them, and so much weight gpne. It's hard to believe I am now one of those people.... and I have to say it definitely is more about the journey than the destination - not what I expected after a lifetime of wanting to get to that destination!
I just wanted to share a few things I've learned in the last year - the good and the not so good, along with the 125 lbs. I've lost...
- The surgery/weight loss definitely effects those around us - our family and friends. My young daughter feels more insecure being overweight now that her Mom is thinner. My husband has rebelled and "gained" weight. The less I eat, the more he eats. I have friends that will no longer speak to me, and new friends who are so supportive, and friends who stayed the same while I changed!
- I've learned the surgery is NOT a cure-all for our problems - I still experience depression, marriage problems, kid problems, health problems, and still have sugar and carb cravings. There was a day when I thought all I had to do was lose weight and everything in my world would be wonderful! I am, however, more confident within, not afraid to sit on a chair or get in a booth, or scoot through a narrow space, talk to a stranger, and numerous other things.
- I'm surprised that I don't feel "jump up and down" happy... but instead a quiet joy that permeates my soul. It is almost like I've found my real self, like a forgotten memory, a home-coming..... hard to describe, except that I feel peaceful and content deep within.
- I love that I can cross my legs, tie my shoelaces, wrap my bath towel 1 1/2 times around myself (compared with not being able to pull it together at all pre-surgery), try clothes on at a store and not have an emotional meltdown and weeks of depression, that I can breathe at the top of the stairs (just climbed 96 in a Puerto Rican tower and wasn't even out of breath!), that my backside fits on a bike seat - and I don't worry about crushing all the air out of the tires, that I can sit on a chair and not worry about breaking it or bending the frame (did both), that I can sit on my husband's lap and not worry about killing him, that my husband and son can pick me up, that others accept me as I am and even say I'm "small-framed", that I love exercise, that I made needed appointments for the gyn and dermatologist (put off for many years because of my weight), that I was able to parasail with my daughter and not have to lie (then worry) about my weight, that I'm less concerned with what people think of me and more sure of myself, that I can "blend" in a crowd - instead of feeling like the center of attention because of my size....
- I have more "hope" in my life now that I have accomplished something I never thought would happen. It has opened doors - mentally, emotionally, and spiritually. I learned that nothing is impossible - it just hasn't been done yet!
- I have learned moderation with food, and what my strengths and weaknesses are, and how to work with them. I have learned discipline, which seems to come from loving one's self.
- I have learned to love myself, and that I AM important, and I AM a priority. My family is extremely important to me, but I am figuring out where I fit in for the first time in my life!
- I have learned that not telling anyone (except my immediate family and one friend) about my surgery was the right decision for me. I am extremely private about my life and especially the struggle with weight. I knew that most of the people in my life would judge me harshly, and I knew I could not bear it, nor bear something so personal to me to be "out there" for others to discuss, etc. Not telling anyone has, to a degree, isolated me from support, but this board fills that void.
There's so much more, but this is way too long.... and my nails are too long to go on typing! (Nail salon tomorrow for sure!) If you made it this far, thanks for reading and hanging in there! I would do the surgery again - even though I had complications and had to go back for more surgery. I am so.... grateful for where I am, and for where I've been. I am who I am because of the trials in my life, and it will be interesting to see what I become without the trial of weight I lived with for 35 years. It's a whole new world!
Crystal
WOW, I enjoyed reading your thoughts on how your life has changed. Prob. because most of it sounds like you downloaded the thoughts in my own head. And most readers here will most likely agree too. It is comforting to us all when we share the "good" and "bad" transformations. It's a connection that bonds us all together. I am happy that your life is better. Don't be such a stranger. Your input is very valuable.
Best Wishes,
Susan
Thanks Susan for your validation! I think we all have our own stories and experiences, but surely some of us can relate to what others feel and have been through - it's why I continue to gain strength from reading everyone's posts.... we all have so mu*****ommon! You're right about that connection!! I'll try to be less of a stranger around here!
Crystal
Dianna Most Active
Recent Topics
