1 Year TODAY/1 Year ago TODAY

Morning all! Today is a special day for us. Our youngest bugga Nora is 1 year old today! The time has sure gone by very quickly. I went and read my profile again from 2005 April until now and good grief things have really changed huh? She is absolutely amazing and makes our family complete. Her and her sister are the BEST things that have EVER happened to me. I fought so hard to carry them both to term and KNOW I would have NEVER made it with Nora had I not had WLS. Both my preggers journeys started off wonderfully but I ended up on bed rest with both of them the end of Dec early Jan and remained until I had both. But, they are both happy, healthy, bubbly lil' us's running around and we are SO blessed and encouraged by them. Especially me. I've been struggling with the fact that when we started TTC (trying to conceive) Nora I was 129/135-137 lb all the time. Then I gained 45 effin lbs with her and my preggers journey and OMG it's a year later and I'm only down to 169 lb. I am disgusted and frustrated and down but optimistic and blessed with her. I know that I can get it off and have begun focusing so much harder than I have been. I cannot let myself get back to the way I used to be. I won't do it. I am pretty sure I won't get back to 129/135-137 lb but I'm sure as he** gonna try. I got a package from my friend Liz in OR yesterday. Inside were 2 dresses for me that are to the knee, sleeveless and absolutely GORGEOUS. I did try them on but they are too tight. Well, not for long. I WILL get into them. It is a real reachable goal. I am going to photograph them this am and put them on my profile as a goal and WILL reach it. Looking at them EVERY DAY will help me. She also sent both our girls BEAUTIFUL dresses. Kayla got a Tiara and earrings with hers. Nora's birthday dress came with a hat, hot pants (lil' pants to cover their butts under the dress) and matching flips flops. She also got a doll that says a prayer we've done with Kayla since birth and now both of them at night that says "Now I lay me down to sleep, pray the Lord my soul to keep, Angels watch me through the night, until I wake in the morning light, Amen." I LOVE that and said it when I was a young girl too. I am SO proud of the fact that I'm not giving up or giving in. I've got more weight to get off and will do it. Self confidence has been hard for me for so long but I'm getting there. I wanna feel beautiful. I wanna look beautiful. I wanna get back into some things I'd bought and have bought since delivering Nora. I want to get healthier not just for me but for our buggas as well. They need their Momma and I intend on being here. I am also trying to focus on them eating/drinking the right things. I don't want them to follow the path I did with gaining, gaining and gaining. Through my faith in God, the love and support of family and friends and my determination I WILL do this. Kitty Kat

Kitty Kat, Congrats on your daughter's one year birthday! That's such a special time. Please give her a big hug for me! You are doing so good and have a great attitude. You are an inspiration on the board. Hang in there and enjoy your special day and Nora's! Hugs, Wanda

Hey Wanda, Thanks! It sure is! I will give her a hug for ya! Dang she's trying to walk and we're SO thrilled bout that! I hope it's TODAY that would ROCK! Thanks for your kind words they mean a lot. Kat

Heya lovebug... Do me (well, ultimately, you!) a small favor? Swap out that 'wanna' with 'am' beautiful - cuz you ARE - and your beautiful buggas reflect that - they came from you! Write it down. Put it on your mirror. Heck, stand your butt in front of that mirror until you find five things you can point at and say, "I like how my ______ is ______" or "I like my ______ because...". Change the language now, and your mind will follow soon after. "If my mind can conceive it, and my heart can believe it, I know I can achieve it." hugs! Kathie

Hey Kathie, I'm kinda tearing up right now. Just emotional this am for many reasons. Thank you SO much for your message. I really needed it this am. I will honestly put this on a post it note and put it on my mirror dresser. I will write the quote down too. Kat

Kinda? Shoot I AM tearing up! reading this whole Post and response has gotten me all sorts of emotional... *blows nose* crying sucks... and yes ladies... I can cry... *hugs Kat tight* You are the most beautiful goddess I've ever met... each and every day... you could be sitting there in sweats and you'd still be gorgeous to me! ya beautiful! -Ross

Awww thank ya Ross! Yeah tell me about emotional! I feel like the scene from friends where Rachel and Monica are talking and one of them is whine-talkin' and the other says WHAT? I swear I have been a blubberin' babblin' id today! Lord my buggas are like MOMMA WTH IS WRONG WITH YOU????? Trey prolly thinks I'm 1 slice of bread short of a sammich. But, hey a gals gotta have a moment now and then huh? HA! I do look pretty in my sweats thank ya very much! My fav's just happen to be BRIIIIIGGGGHHHHHHHTTTTTTTT blue. Yeppers, I'ma big ol' dork! Thanks for the compliments. They really mean a lot. Hugs & Kat

AWESOME ADVICE, Kathie!!!!!!!!!!! Half the battle in life is KEEPING it positive. Whi*****ludes, ANY aspect of our day-to-day life and challenges, from the simple to the intense. I'm a VERY firm believer of that and it's worked well for me. My earlier years come with a lot of sexual, physical and verbal abuse. I'm NOT saying the hardships I endured were any easier or harder than anyone elses. However, I do believe that NOT dwelling on those negatives freed up my mind to work on and obtain the successes that followed. By keeping it positive and NOT allowing our past to dictate our future, anything is possible.

Oh Lei, You are so right. I am trying my best to remain positive. I won't lie and say that I'm peachy this pm cause I'm all sorts of emotional as today symbolizes many things especially my worries about my weight. I am SO scared of getting heavy again and have honestly balled my eyes out this am and it's carried over to this pm. Trey was about to leave for work and I started flowin' like a river and he was like OMG what is wrong baby? I let it all out. I told him that today has brought on a lot of emotional responses for me. I was maintaining nicely and at a comfortable weight for me and then getting preggers I was SO happy being preggers with Nora and the fact I made it ALL the way with her was even more wonderful. I told him I KNOW I've had a baby but it's a effin' YEAR later and I'm only down to 169 lb. I am SCARED TO DEATH of getting heavier and feeling like he** all the time. I don't want to go back there again. I can't go back there. He said I should know that there are times when he just can't take his eyes off me and that ya'll are right and so is he that I'm beautiful and I'm worth it and at the end of the day he wants me to feel good and be happy and he will help me. Starting tomorrow we are going to walk TOGETHER as a family before he goes to work. Then on the weekends we are going to do it together. He says that he will do his best to do what it takes to help me get this weight off and be supportive. (I mean he's been here from WAY before WLS and is STILL here and OMG I him dearly). I have him and the girls and others to keep me going. I am just worried/scared. We talked about many more things as I balled my eyes out then he grabbed my face and said to dry it up, he me and the girls me and I'm stuck with them and they won't let me fail. Please pray for me. Kat

I can't believe it has been 1 year!! Please give her a kiss from me and a Happy Birthday!! You are such an inspiration to so many people on this board and me - You are already beautiful inside and out! I know that you will get to your goal - and never say never - you will be back to the weight you were - I know you will and can do it!! You are a wonderful person and I know can do anything you put your mind too.!! Don't you dare give up! Beth