Warning: Major Vent Enclosed
The cuss word that beings with a early letter of the alphabet will be replaced by the word stinkin' so that this post doesn't get pulled. 
My one and only sister is in the hospital and I'm multiple states away. If I were up there I'd probably be in the way, needing a place to stay, a regular routine for eating and such and it would be hard. Strange to bring eating into it but with my blood sugars I HAVE to eat regularly and when I'm with my family who eat on no schedule at all and on a whim (coffee in the morning and then maybe something in the middle of the day then a big dinner out) - I can get into trouble. I digressed.
Plus, of course, I'm recovering from surgery myself for goodness sakes.
That all being said...I feel totally out of the loop here. I've had to rely on my BIL to call when he has had chances.
Tuesday the day of Pam's surgery was fine. I got a call around noon that she was in surgery and doing well... the breast surgeon was done with the removals, the lymph node was positive on the one side and the plastic surgeon was doing his thing. Then I got a call at 7 pm saying no word - she was still in surgery. I got a call at 9:30 pm that she was out of surgery and my BIL was going to be able to see her soon for 10 minutes. Then he wouldn't be able to see her for 4 hours so he was going to go home and sleep for a few.
The next call I got was 8 am yesterday morning. My BIL had seen her in the morning and she was cleared eyed, awake, in pain but doing well. Plastic surgeon was in and pleased. They were waiting to get her out of recovery into a room on a certain wing/floor which might take hours.
That is the last call I got.
Do you know what it is stinkin' like to hear nothing for 24 hours? Not one stinkin' word? Not even a "We are still waiting for a room" call. Nothing. Nada. Zip. Cero.
So, this morning I call my father in Florida and ask if he heard anything. He said he heard from BIL at 4 pm yesterday - my sister is in a room. She is doing well. They got her up in a chair for a while. It took a few people to get her there and she was in pain but she sat up for a while.
I vented on Dad a bit. Not his fault at all. He assumed that BIL would call me and tell me too like he had been the day before. Obviously, flesh and blood, only sisters, etc don't rank high on the stinkin' "too call" list. I bet all my sister's friends know when she goes potty but me - I know stinkin' nothing.
I vented to my husband. He said it sounds like you are going to give your BIL "what for". And I said that I wouldn't. I have to remember that he is overwhelmed, his wife has cancer, had major surgery and is facing chemotherapy and probably not a short wave of one either. So, I'll get over this mess and move on...
Kathy, The Sister
My one and only sister is in the hospital and I'm multiple states away. If I were up there I'd probably be in the way, needing a place to stay, a regular routine for eating and such and it would be hard. Strange to bring eating into it but with my blood sugars I HAVE to eat regularly and when I'm with my family who eat on no schedule at all and on a whim (coffee in the morning and then maybe something in the middle of the day then a big dinner out) - I can get into trouble. I digressed.
Plus, of course, I'm recovering from surgery myself for goodness sakes.
That all being said...I feel totally out of the loop here. I've had to rely on my BIL to call when he has had chances.
Tuesday the day of Pam's surgery was fine. I got a call around noon that she was in surgery and doing well... the breast surgeon was done with the removals, the lymph node was positive on the one side and the plastic surgeon was doing his thing. Then I got a call at 7 pm saying no word - she was still in surgery. I got a call at 9:30 pm that she was out of surgery and my BIL was going to be able to see her soon for 10 minutes. Then he wouldn't be able to see her for 4 hours so he was going to go home and sleep for a few.
The next call I got was 8 am yesterday morning. My BIL had seen her in the morning and she was cleared eyed, awake, in pain but doing well. Plastic surgeon was in and pleased. They were waiting to get her out of recovery into a room on a certain wing/floor which might take hours.
That is the last call I got.
Do you know what it is stinkin' like to hear nothing for 24 hours? Not one stinkin' word? Not even a "We are still waiting for a room" call. Nothing. Nada. Zip. Cero.
So, this morning I call my father in Florida and ask if he heard anything. He said he heard from BIL at 4 pm yesterday - my sister is in a room. She is doing well. They got her up in a chair for a while. It took a few people to get her there and she was in pain but she sat up for a while.
I vented on Dad a bit. Not his fault at all. He assumed that BIL would call me and tell me too like he had been the day before. Obviously, flesh and blood, only sisters, etc don't rank high on the stinkin' "too call" list. I bet all my sister's friends know when she goes potty but me - I know stinkin' nothing.
I vented to my husband. He said it sounds like you are going to give your BIL "what for". And I said that I wouldn't. I have to remember that he is overwhelmed, his wife has cancer, had major surgery and is facing chemotherapy and probably not a short wave of one either. So, I'll get over this mess and move on...
Kathy, The Sister 
!
Hugs,
Kat 
Well, first thing; I am glad to hear the surgery went well, your sister is in a room and getting up a bit.
Now, about YOU. You are entitled to vent...and no better place to do it than on here. You are definitely right in being upset...and if it were any other time or cir****tance, I am sure your BIL would be getting quite an earful. But, as you wrote, he is also going through a difficult time.
Sooo...let it out...breathe deep...and let those cuss words fly
Take care of yourself Kathy I'm thinking of you
Hugs to you
Sue
Kathy,
You just vent away. I go nuts when a loved one is in trouble and I'm not right there, because as we all know, I am superwoman and I can make anything better just by being there. LOL OK, maybe not, but that's how we feel, right?
I probably would have bypassed the BIL altogether and called the hospital to get a room number/phone number. Call sis directly and even if she doesn't feel like talking, at least you have reached out and let her know she is not forgotten. If they will connect you to the nursing station, get to know the nurses, sometimes you'll find one who doesn't mind chatting for a few minutes on the phone to a relative, especially one who is calling long distance, maybe at night when things are a little quieter.
Hang in there Kathy, I'm praying your Sis will be OK and you will survive this too.
Carole
Kathy:
As a brother in law, I would give him some slack only because his WIFE (yes your sister) the person who probably takes better care of him than his mother did, is facing danger and there's nothing he can do about it to help her. I expect that his mind is blown away with negative thoughts, bad visions and fears - mine would. Just let him know that you need to hear regular updates. JMHO.
Dave
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