Good Morning, VA

Just wanted to check in with my Va buddies and wish everyone a very Happy New Year! I am sorry I haven't been online much but since surgery, my life has been turned upside down and trying to be positive about it all. In the end, I will be better off. I am getting a divorce...that was my Christmas present this year...five days after major surgery (I had open) I was emailed that (yes emailed...how unattatched is that?) and asked to move out. Well, I am ready to move on with my life emotionally but just not physically. I still have my staples and JP tube in so I am not physically able to leave as of yet. I am however, emotionally ready..I am going to get my life back...we had been married 3 years this Feb. It was a mistake in the very beginning...ya know, sometimes when we are obese, we tend to settle for so much less than most. We put up with the controlling people just to say we are loved? How sad is that? We grasp at any attention and tend to just exisit. No more for this butterfly! Life goes on and we learn so much in this journey. This last 3 years has been such a journey into hell but I am getting out. I survived a loveless, unaffectionate marriage and I am ready to finally live. There are angels on this board and you know who you are, who have been a tremendous emotional support for me during this turmoil in my life. I could not have made it this far without them. I have pretty much taken care of myself since surgery with no one to help. I do not regret anything. There is alot of things I have done in my life that I wish I could change but being obese and begging for attention is over. I am worthy of real love, I am worthy of a hug, I am a human being and I have emotions. Being obese is one of the worse diseases anyone can go through because it involves emotional and physical pains. When we get out lives back, lets don't ever forget where we came from and the pain we have all experienced. Being obese is a painful place to be. When this butterfly gets her strength back into her wings, she is going to fly!!!! This is going to be a wonderful New Year for me...a truly new beginning. Life can be changed in an instant and we need to make the best of what we have. I have made it through all this but I will be struggling for awhile but it will be for the best. Look at what we all have this New Year and be thankful for a chance to make some important changes. If you are not happy in your life, you are the only one who can take control and change it...we all have that chance. I love you all. Hugs Betsy A New Butterfly

Happy New Year to you too Betsy. God will give you strength. Be blessed and know that you have all the support here you can ask for. Things are changing for me too. I am standing up for myself. Some may call it selfish but too bad. I aint no doormat and will not just stand for anything anymore. Too new begginnings....... Shannon

Hi there, girlfriend! Way to go girl...I know exactly how you feel...no more doormat for anyone. No, you are not being selfish at all...we need to stand up for ourselves! I am tired of being controlled and whinning about it...I need to stand up and change it. Now if I can just get these staples and tube out, I will feel much better. You go, girl... I am here for ya if you need to talk. Hugs, betsy

wishing you a happy new year and from your post a happier healthier life. you are already spreading your wings for a better life and i wish you the best. divorce is hard but sometimes for the best and you sound like a determined strong willed person who is ready to soar. let nothing hold you back gal. your headed in the right direction . i have been there and there is a better life , you deserve the best . and you are so right only you can achieve the happiness you deserve. just hang in there and keep you head high , one day you will look back on this and laugh and be proud nothing stopped you from being happier and heathier in you journey. we have to do things for us as no on in life will treat you good unless you treat your self good first. and for me i wanted to be the queen in my life so i treat my self as one. i do things for me first, no more living for others first as i have only one life to be happy in and i rule that one. hugs sent to you sweetie and best wishes on a happier new life and new year , this one and many more to come!!!! big HUG!

Hi Rhonda! We all go through things in our lives and we all make mistakes. The important thing is that we learn from our mistakes and move on. We could just sit here and pity ourselves but what a mistake that would be. You are right, we have to learn to love ourselves first. It is nice to know that we are not alone in this battle. I am opening a new chapter in my life and really looking forward to this. It is so comforting to know that I am not the only one struggling with this demon in my life. Yes, I am a queen and will survive this nightmare. I will be so much more healthier and happier. Maybe I will find a knight in shining armor who cleans up after his own horse! Thanks so much for the incouragement. This board is wonderful. Hugs, Betsy

Man you got a grasp on the situation........you are getting rid of more baggage than just the weight.....way to go girl......and yes, from the sounds of you, you are a very lovable person and we do tend to "settle". You are worthy of oh so much more in life and it will all be yours, very soon. I went through the Christmas "I want a divorce", too, some years ago and that was the most wonderful gift I got that year. Now I have a wonderful angel of a hubby who adores me almost as much as I adore him. We both make a wonderful support team and if you need anything, feel free to e-mail me.......2006 will truly be your year, my dear....... Cory

Awww, Cory, thank you for such an encouraging post. You are so right about the extra baggage...hubby weighs over 300 pounds! I am going to be very gunshy as far as marriage again..I was married the first time for 28 years to a verbally and physically abusive husband...now I have one who never hugs, or anything. I am coming home to Roanoke and can't wait. I have missed my mountains and my family. God has some wonderful plans for me and I am going to leave it all in His capable hands. My future looks so bright and I will once again be healthy and happy. It is just that right now, I am in a living hell and am looking forward to getting out. Physically it is reallly hard on me but emotionally I am doing wonderful. Hugs, Betsy

Wonderful......I live in Roanoke.......My first marriage was more a case of being in love with love than with the person. I knew it was a mistake before I ever went down the aisle, but I was 36 and knew no one would ever love me so why not take this one.......the only thing we shared was a last name. That went on for 7 years....on our 7th anniversary, Dec. 1, he gave me a ring with 4 sapphires and 3 diamonds in it....and said he was trying to figure out which 4 years the dark stones represented....2 weeks later said he wanted a divorce and man I jumped on it like white on rice....saved me the trouble of telling him to leave. I stayed alone 4 years....took that long for me to get to know myself and decide I was a pretty lovable person after all and really didn't need anyone.....then I met my babe for life on line, of all places. We met 9 years ago this month and they have been the most wonderful 9 years of my life. He is support, love, touches, hugs, long stares across the room, cute cards, mid-day phone calls just to say hi....you name it and he is it.......man, what a life!!!!!! And you will have one, too.......let me know when you get to Roanoke.......love you

Cory, What a sweet and touching testimony about your husband! I, too, knew I was marrying because of my age at the time (30) when my first husband and I wed. I didnt' want to wait any longer to have the children I had only recently decided I wanted to have. I left him after getting my advanced degree in 88. Moved from Stewartsville to B'burg for a year and then Bedford for a year before settling in Rockbridge Co. Met my REAL HUSBAND, Jim, on the CB radio. He treated me like a queen even when I wasn't acting very queen-like. I am quite happy alone, just wish I had a pal with whom to ride motorcycles and travel. Lois

Isn't it funny how you can meet some of the most wonderful people in places you are told to not meet people in......CB's and on line......go figure........