Should I be insulted?

A few weeks before Christmas, My dad asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him I needed more workout pants. (My dad and I work out at the same gym). I even told him which side of the gym store the ones I wanted were on. I also told him what size I am now, and what size he would need to buy if he went someplace else to get me workout pants or sweats. I open up my pants on Christmas day, they are a size 18W/20W, FROM WALMART. My grandmother had convinced him that I was not that small. He listened to her and bought me women's sized pants instead of what I asked for. I wear a 14/16. I had told him to get me a 14 because if its all elastic, the 16's dont fit right. I stood up and showed my dad and grandmother how big these things were. I said grandma, I wear the same size as my sister now. She said, Oh she wears an 18 too. Somehow, my grandmother is convinced I am still a 20. I dont know why. I was an 18 in misses last Christmas. She bought me a 1x sweater from the women's department and I told her then it was too big. What aggrivates me the most is my dad called and I told him to write it down. No more women's sizes. I'm not that big anymore. My mom who is in total denial of what I weigh because she has gained so much weight, got it right. Should I be insulted that no matter what I say, My grandmother is convinced I am still morbidly obese? For years, I would take her shopping at Christmas and she would buy me something a 24W, but my cousin in GA who was every bit as big as I, she would buy her a large and not listen to me when I said she was as big as I. I have just always been her "fat grandchild" and she is having a hard time with the fact that because she has gained so much weight, I weigh less than she does. She knows what sizes she wears now, so she is thinking I HAVE to be bigger than her. My dad lives with my grandmother because she is older and my grandaddy is dead. Should I pull my dad to the side and explain to him that I will never be that size again and no matter what she says, don't buy me women's sized clothes anymore? Should I just let it go and chalk it up to grandma being old and set in her ways? She told me she got the workout pants in question from WalMart, so I took them back tonight, and they actually had some Danskin workout pants in the JUNIORS section and I exchanged them. The girl at the desk in Walmart looked at me like I was crzy when I told her I had to bring back my 20's because I really needed a 14. I don't have a birthday again until November, so hopefully by then, I will have had a tummy tuck and maybe she will get the clue that I am not that big anymore!

Don't worry about it. My grandmother always bought me a LARGE shirt four or five times a year for 20 years when I was a 3 and 4 XLARGE for 20 years. Grandparents and parents just have a view of their kids and grandkids that was formed many years ago. I'd chalk it up to old and settled and really not take offense. She'll realize soon enough what you've done and will come to her senses. If not, then just appreciate that you still have a grnadmother. Dave

I agree with Dave. I wouldn't feel insulted. Chalk it up to her being set in her ways. She may never come to terms with the fact that you weigh less than she does, but I am sure she's not doing it to insult you. Take care! Stacey

Let it go sweetie... accept the gift and if you don't get a reciept or tags... pass it on to another OH member... a gift from grammy... you are spending way too much energy on it... be glad you have a grandmother even if she is stubborn and set in her ways. Next time, tell dad you want money. He is probably never going to get it right either... make it easy on yourself and on them. My grandmother bought my mom king size sheets forever... my parents had a full size bed... it drove my mom nuts but we all made a yearly joke out of it...

Aww, Hon, don't take offense. Have that talk with your dad and explain to him you aren't obese anymore. Maybe Grandma will never see you small. Don't blame her...sometimes it takes awhile to realize you are not the same granddaughter she had once. You are doing great and I am really proud of you. You keep up the good work...sometimes our minds still see ourselves as obese long after getting our new bodies and maybe Grandma is the same. Good luck and have a wonderful holiday. Hugs, betsy

Hi Leland! Try not to be insulted sweetie. Trust me, I've seen you and you do NOT look obese let alone a size 20! She's just set in her ways, and has a mental image of you from years ago that she can't let go of. Shoot, if it were me buying for you, I'd have bought a 10! You don't look big enough to be a 14 at all. TRUST ME! I can only imagine how irritating that was, tho. Just let it go, and ask for gift cards from your favorite store next Christmas. Then you can show 'em your cute lil' self in your new clothes that you get to pick out yourself! ((((((hugs)))))))

Wow I am impressed you tell your family what size you wear. that is a closely guarded secret with me. if people want to get me clothes I direct them to get me gift certificates. Then I get what I want. Don't be insulted parents and grand parents are not suppose to be perfect they are what drives the psyiatric community to make so much money we need them to skrew us up. WTG on the smaller sizes that's all that really matters you are a big loser later Heather

Just the fact that you said "Should I be insulted" shows you have a choice in the matter. Years ago while undergoing some counseling, my therapist told me that aside from grief and life threatening fear, we humans actually have control over our feelings. We can choose to not get mad or sad or happy (although I haven't ever found a reason to not get happy) if we don't want to. I started practicing this while driving. I live in the DC area and the traffic is awful. I made a conscious decision to not get irritated at the things others did on my commute. It took a while but now I don't care what others do. I just continue on my way. I keep a watch out for them so they don't kill me, but I choose not to get mad at them. I used that tool in other parts of my life. The little things my husband, kids, co-workers, etc do to annoy me, I choose to let it go. I am so much happier now. Let your anger at your grandmother and father go. You'll be happier.