1st post since surgery - having a tough time

Well I had my RNY on the 23rd of March.  The operation went well but for some unexplained reason I had a bleeding issue.  The night of surgery I went to the bathroom and had blood pouring out of my rectum.  That lasted about 24 hours.  I was too weak from blood loss to get up and walk around so I had horrible gas pains.  I thought I was having a heart attack.  I had to get a blood transfusion and received 3 pints of blood.  I ended up in the hospital for four days.  By the time I left my blood count was up but not back to normal.  My surgeon said this happens to about 1 in 300 patients.  So of course I was "why me".  My surgeon said it could take between 1 and 2 months for my blood levels to return to normal and until then I will be tired.  I am 3 weeks post op today and am still very tired.  I was moved to pureed food last week but I don't really like it.  Tastes too pasty for me.  I'm so scared of eating the wrong thing or throwing up that I just drink my water and protein shakes.  I'm definitely in the "why did I do this stage?".  I thought if I could have felt this before surgery then I could have put my mind to dieting and exercising and lost the weight.  It's been really tough.  My husband and three kids want to know when I will feel better and I don't know.  I'm also really grouchy/crabby and not fun to be around.  Has anyone else felt this way??  Anyone else had a bleeding problem?  If so, how long did it take to feel better?  Any words of encouragement would be greatly appreciated.

hi stacy

no i didnt have the bleeding issue you did but i had a breathing issue... i to was in the hospital for 4 days.. i completely understand what you mean when you say.. your tired and grouchy and scared to eat.. and thinking why did you do this..     i was very tired because i wasnt eating the foods to give me engery and scared to swallow anything...  i also said the same thing when i saw acouple spoon foods on my plate  i wondered why i did this to myself...    trust us..... it gets better...  4 yrs out i still cant eat pasta or rice  but i still take bites of it.. but i remember having to throw it up becuase it hurt so much when i ate it... so you may have some foods that will affect you.. or maybe not...    with the puree foods.. i did yogarts or mashed potatos or oatmeal applce sauce... things of that nature.. i couldnt put my dinner in the blender... just didnt go down right with me...

just keep coming back here for advice on foods and many will help you out in that department..    but soon.. you will begin to feel better and step on the scale and see the pounds just melting off... and then you will know why you did this...

smile  and your on your way to a new you..

Beth

I was in the hospital 2 WEEKS instead of 2 days because of a complication resulting in a small bowel obstruction.  I felt exhausted for a good 6 to 8 weeks.  But once I got past that, I felt that I had a lot more energy than before my surgery.  My hubby and boss both remarked on how much more I get done... how much more I move around instead of just sitting all the time. 
I had a few brief moments of "What have I done to myself??" but then I would just think about how sick and would be and for how long if I had stayed on the path of obesity, high blood pressure, diabetes, etc.  Two bad weeks are worth how wonderful I feel now and how healthy I will be for the next 30 years!  I ate a LOT of applesauce and yogurt that first couple of weeks until I felt comfortable enough to branch out to tuna salad with lots of mayo, soft scrambled eggs with cheese (some people have trouble with eggs, but i didn't), and bean soup mushed up in a bullet blender.
Hang in there.  It will get better and then you'll be happy you did this!  Good luck!

Stacy,

I think nearly all of us have a moment or moments of "What have I done?"  It's normal.  Also, if you suffered from depression or anxiety prior to surgery, this can get worse in the initial weeks following surgery.
Your body stores hormones in your fat cells and as these fat cells are being used and eliminated, the hormones are released...think of it as PMS x 100.  It DOES get better. 
I am the exception to the rule...the one who makes the complication statistics...I am in that tiny percent that faces complications--some life threatening. 
I can tell you, today...that, nearly 3 years post op...after hundreds (literally) of hospital stays, MANY blood transfusions, several additional surgeries and continuing ongoing issues...I would STILL walk into that surgery suite and STILL have my RNY in a second. 
WHY?
Because my life now...even when I feel awful...if a million times better than when I weighed 350 pounds.  Is it hard for my family when I'm sick?  Yes, it is...but, through this process and some other issues that have occurred, my marriage, my family and my everything are stronger, better, and happier.

I know that it's hard to look on the bright side and it's hard to imagine what life will be like a week from now, a month from now...a YEAR from now.  But, you WILL feel better and you WILL be okay. 
From a medical standpoint, it does take roughly 6-8 weeks to feel your best...so, as the days/weeks pass, focus on one good thing at a time.  Walk, drink, eat already "pureed" foods like refried beans, scrambled eggs, etc.  The mental thing that happens when we can't eat normally combined with the hormones, being post-op, etc....this can really cause depression to ramp up. 

Hang in there!

((((stacey)))) I didn't have bleeding issues, but I can so relate. I had a leak and had my 2nd operation 2 days after my initial surgery. I was in for about 3 weeks and it was touch and go for a while. Other than the pain of both surgeries, I also suffered (still at times) from nausea/vomiting and the resulting dehydration. 

You are doing great by getting your fluids in and your protein. When I was 3 weeks post op, I couldn't eat anything at all. I was told that as long as I got my fluids in, that was the most important thing. Shoot, I was still struggling with clears! 

I'm guessing you will slowly regain your energy and it will surprise you all at once. That's what happened to me. It does get better. Others told me the same thing and I swear I just knew they were lying! They weren't. 

Try to take it day by day and don't stress yourself. It will get better. Once you get over this hump, your buyer's remorse will fade away...



Best wishes to you,

Renee

Stacey, so sorry to hear about the issues you have been having.  Understandable why you are doubting your choices, hopefully you will feel tons better soon.

With the amount of blood loss, etc. your iron levels probably lowered, talk to your dr. about iron supplements if you aren't already taking them.  B-12 is also a key for energy.  For me it took a good solid 2 months before I was out of the exhaustion stage (although I was also working 2 jobs at the time).

Lisa had it right with the hormonal stuff.  those fat cells burst and push all those hormones out into our systems and cause major mood issues, it will pass too.

Keep carefully trying on the foods.  You will find things that will work for you.  For me it was easiest to but normal foods into the blender so that I could have that real taste.  Some of what I liked in the beginning, scrambled eggs, tuna, egg salad, yogurt, oatmeal, grits, cream of wheat, lean ground beef (pan browned with a bit of cheese on top), refried beans, chili, ham & bean soup (in the blender).  Remember to be careful when trying new things as your tummy might rebel since it is still healing.  Don't eat too fast, chew really well.  Use beano/gas-x as needed.

We are here for you.  Please let us know if we can help.

I am sorry you have had so many complications.  I understand you are frustrated but hang in there.  I have started pureed foods and am having to be creative.  Last night I cooked hubby a nice rare steak. I cut 2 ounces off of it and tossed it in the magic bullet.  Once it was a nice paste I mixed in a little cumin, a small ammount of mild taco sauce, and a small ammoint of sour cream.  OMG it was so good compared to the liquids.  I also pureed 2 or 3 green beans and for every 3 bites of the beef I got a small taste of the green beans.  It gave me a sense of eating like a normal person.  My bites are using a baby spoon and then never more than the size of a lima bean.  I did not finish either item on my plate but I was very satisfied when I left the table and I got to sit and talk to hubby during dinner and not covet his plate.  Tonight I am making chicken tacos using chicken thighs and will do about the same thing.  This morning I made a few grits and pureed a couple of ounces of ham.  Mixed the two (I know grits are not for everyone)and it was yummy.  Plus the salt from the ham made me thirsty so I will be sure to drink more today.  At any sitting I am only eating 2-3 tablespoons of food but I am happy with that.  Everything I have been eating is on my doctor's eating plan and I am finding ways to make it tasty.  Use spices to keep it interesting.  I was told to avoid really spicy for a while.  Some other ideas I have for puree are to take some peaches I froze last summer and blend them to mix with cottage cheese.  Good luck I hope you are feeling better soon.

I truly appreciate all of your comments and feedback/suggestions.  Sometimes all it takes is for other people to confirm what you are feeling is normal and it will pass.  It makes all the difference in the world.  I know I can hang in there and it will get better.  Thanks again for the responses.