WOW!!!

~~Theresa Marie~~
on 10/22/09 10:05 pm - Closing in on SkinnyVille, VA
I was reading the boards this morning and was UTTERLY SHOCKED. A member of OH was merely asking a question about something that was posted and had her head bit off, chewed up and spit out and was accused of starting something and calling everyone imperfect. The response given to the person asking a question was not only unnecessary but down right RUDE!

Due to this continued behavior, you can thank this person, this attitude and this behavior for yet again, 1 more person leaving this board. While I will miss a FEW, and I do mean a few, I can guarantee I will not miss that type of behavior!

And to think, we are all supposed to be adults!!!
Theresa Marie
Lap RNY  - April 30, 2008
Open heart surgery (mitral valve repair & MAZE) - April 13, 2009
356/297.5/152.5/170/150 - consult/surgery morn/now/dr goal/my goal
Skinnyville is NO longer miles away...  It's a mere walk to the corner!!
Facebook me @ Theresa Marie Lehman



Kitty Kat
on 10/22/09 10:21 pm - Richmond, VA
Good am Theresa,

Unfortunately, we are all going to disagree with someone & their statements sometimes. However, we have to look at the big picture and remember that we are here to be supportive, understanding & encouraging. Its unfortunate that one person has caused you to leave the boards. I wish you all best & hope at some point you can return and be an active member here.

All best!

Kitty Kat - Lap RNY 29th Jan 03
Blessed Momma to Kayla & Nora
Sober since 25th Aug 07 
www.the-butterfly-chronicles.blogspot.com
Thankful for the easy, grateful for the hard & hopeful for tomorrow.



~~Theresa Marie~~
on 10/22/09 10:46 pm, edited 10/22/09 10:48 pm - Closing in on SkinnyVille, VA
I agree that we will not always agree with everyone on here. And you are right. We are, or at least supposed to be here to support, understand and encourage.

The problem I have is that someone who is always talking about how we are supposed to be supportive and encouraging to each other had the nerve to blast someone who merely asked a question, and in my opinion, a valid question. No where in the original post was there reference to starting anything or reference to anyone being perfect. And to me, the last thing this board needs is hypocracy. You can not come on the boards, talking about how you want everyone to come back to the boards, to find the love and support that we as WLS patients can give each other and then verbally attack someone. To me, that is NO way for a support group leader to act.

I am sure I will ruffle feathers and burn bridges, and that's fine. If the bridges I burn are from that type of person then I say, burn baby burn! But thank you for the kind words, Kat

All best to you too!!!

Edited to add... I think the verbal attacker definitely owes the original poster an PUBLIC and sincere apology!!!
Theresa Marie
Lap RNY  - April 30, 2008
Open heart surgery (mitral valve repair & MAZE) - April 13, 2009
356/297.5/152.5/170/150 - consult/surgery morn/now/dr goal/my goal
Skinnyville is NO longer miles away...  It's a mere walk to the corner!!
Facebook me @ Theresa Marie Lehman



Kitty Kat
on 10/22/09 11:24 pm - Richmond, VA
Theresa,

I applaud your passion & hope you never lose it. :) Having been a member here in the 7 year range, I've seen numerous ups & downs on the boards. That being said, I'm kindly reminded every day who & what we control and that is only ourselves. Something important that I've learned that enables me to better deal with negativity is addressing the source(s) privately & personally.

Although we believe someone shouldn't have said something or they owe someone else an apology, that is our opinion and not necessarily what will happen. Everyone makes mistakes, everyone has a bad day now & then & we also aren't privy to what is happening offline either. 

We have to take the high road and not feed into negativity. The more time, energy & attention you give, the more life it sucks out of us. Addressing our issues & concerns directly with others is what I believe to be the best route to take. Again, my thoughts & opinions. I respect yours as well. I sincerely hope that we can move away from this into am more positive direction.

:)

Kitty Kat - Lap RNY 29th Jan 03
Blessed Momma to Kayla & Nora
Sober since 25th Aug 07 
www.the-butterfly-chronicles.blogspot.com
Thankful for the easy, grateful for the hard & hopeful for tomorrow.



Ann S.
on 10/22/09 11:43 pm - Middletown, VA
Lap Band on 07/16/07 with
Well, being's how I'm the one that was attacked PUBLICLY, should I not have the right to defend PUBLICLY?  I didn't start this mess..Melinda did.  As for any sort of appology, I don't expect one, never asked for one (but thanks for the thought, T).  Besides, that wouldn't happen anyway.

In essence, Kat, I'm just supposed to suck it up & be anyone'*****hing bag because she's having a bad day or something?  Hmmm...not so much.  But your sugar-coating looks good on paper.

This BS shouldn't cause anyone to leave.  Consider it a sick form of entertainment because anymore all I can think of to do is laugh about it all.    So T, please don't leave because of this.  Don't give her or anyone that kind of power over you.  I'll just put her on ignore like I've done with one other person & then the problem is solved.  That's why we have that feature...eliminate the negative.
prissy25
on 10/22/09 11:36 pm - Barboursville, VA
Well Theresa once again here we are back to the same drama, I was making a  visual point not  biting anyone's head off nor spitting it off. If you take offense to this and  decide to leave this is your choice and we are all adults here that's the problem someone always making waves when others are trying to support I was only trying to put things out there for people I'm sorry that all recipes don't have  everything PEOPLE want. I was not attacking anyone person and I don't  think this was any of your business. Now if you choose to leave a supporting board over weather a recipe has a nutritional value or not or the way I posted a comment that by all means I wish you the very best in your journey. You wont ruffle my feathers because I'm not going any where I have been here to long to let anyone run me off and I'm here to support the new and the old. That's why OH was developed and there have been alot here that has helped me  get through alot.
I don't understand the whole  deal of  constantly keeping this board in turmoil all the time this is why ALOT of  good people have left here and its totally childless. I'm not apologizing to anyone  I have the right to speak out just like the rest on here and  by golly I take w/ a grain of  salt so for Pete sake the rest of you need to do the same and or  take it off the board!!!!
And this is all your gonna here from me about the situation period. You have a superfantastic weekend.
 VAFFPsLogo.jpg FFP's picture by in2lights
OH Support Group Leader - [email protected]
Believing in yourself makes it so much easier in supporting those who need your friendship, love, and support,so Believe in yourself First.
Charlottesville, Virginia VA FFP's Meet's every 4th Sat.

    
~~Theresa Marie~~
on 10/22/09 11:45 pm - Closing in on SkinnyVille, VA
I assure you that I am not leaving due to your recipes. I could care less about them and frankly, I never opened them to read them. It wasn't your posts regarding the recipes but your response to Ann's question about your posts. I read Ann's post, then read how you jumped on her, accused her of starting drama when all she asked was a question regarding serving size, which should be a valid concern to anyone watching their weight, WLS patients or not.

If you didn't want this to be anyone's business then next time may I suggest that you DO NOT post it on an OPEN PUBLIC forum that is free to anyone to read and reply too.

You talk about being supportive, understanding and wanting to help people. If that's the case then instead of accusing Ann of starting crap and trying to act perfect, you would have offered suggestions on trying to figure out serving sizes, or trying to figure out a solution. You know... HELPING someone, not accusing them of starting things.

YOU, personally, are not running me off. I just choose to limit the people I include in my life to those that are NOT judgemental or hypocritical. And I choose to not associate with them. If it walks like a duck, and it quacks like a duck, then ummm IT'S A DUCK!!!! And I will have a superfantastic weekend with the only person that needs to act like a child and well, that is because he is a child, my child!
Theresa Marie
Lap RNY  - April 30, 2008
Open heart surgery (mitral valve repair & MAZE) - April 13, 2009
356/297.5/152.5/170/150 - consult/surgery morn/now/dr goal/my goal
Skinnyville is NO longer miles away...  It's a mere walk to the corner!!
Facebook me @ Theresa Marie Lehman



Tam
on 10/23/09 12:34 am - Richmond, VA
TM...all I am gonna say on here is WOW and please dont let them run you off.  That is exactly what some people appear to want.  We, as a board, do not need a "fearless leader" and we all need support no matter where in our journey we are.  If you do decide to leave...i'll keep up with ya on FB but I sincerely hope you do not leave.  I did leave when one person on here decided that it was OK to get right in the middle of my life with Steve and I decided that this person would NOT force me out of my support.  I chose who I have contact with and I don't put anything out here that I don't want others to know.  Yes, shockingly there are other things that happen in my life that I do not post on here!  LOL  Steve has an OH account and can read everything even though we are no longer together.  It does not bother me one bit.  Make the decision for what is right for YOU and only YOU.  I am always here if you need anything...you know how to reach me.  Hope you reconsider!

Tammy C

down 260+ pounds and loving life more than ever!!!
proud  mom to Kara 12-08-1994 and our newest addition Claire Makenna born 03-26-09 weighing 6 lbs 13 ounces and 19.25 inches long and very healthy.  happily dating...i honestly never knew it could be this good!  there is that special Guy for everyone out there...either you already have him or you will find him when He is ready for it! 

open RNY 04-25-2005

Life could not get any better than this!

~~Theresa Marie~~
on 10/23/09 4:44 am - Closing in on SkinnyVille, VA
Tammy, I agree that we DO NOT need a fearless leader, much less a leader who is oh so not qualified to follow, much less lead!!!

I am literally shocked and sickened that someone on this board, who you knew and obviously trusted took advantage of you and that trust and caused trouble with you and Steve. That is a horrible line to cross, especially since you and Steve are not seperated. I mean really? What kind of person could get pleasure in wrecking someone else's life. Obviously their life was or is so non existent. Honestly, I think it is hilarious that Steve has an OH acct when he's so not a WLS patient, or anyone interested in WLS. It's so clear that he's done it to keep tabs, lol! But like you, I am starting to be more careful with what I put out there. My motto is that I won't put anything out in public that I wouldn't mind being published in the news paper.

Thanks for all the kind words and for being here for me. I am here for you if you need anything!!
Theresa Marie
Lap RNY  - April 30, 2008
Open heart surgery (mitral valve repair & MAZE) - April 13, 2009
356/297.5/152.5/170/150 - consult/surgery morn/now/dr goal/my goal
Skinnyville is NO longer miles away...  It's a mere walk to the corner!!
Facebook me @ Theresa Marie Lehman



Ann S.
on 10/22/09 11:57 pm - Middletown, VA
Lap Band on 07/16/07 with
Gee, it's too bad I'm putting you on my ignore list.  I'm gonna miss out on the great recipes, even if I don't know how much of it I should consume.  But that's ok...I'll figure it out without YOUR help.

Ya know Melinda, you used to be such a sweet person.  You were one of the first to welcome me to the board, made me feel wanted.  I even called you my little cheerleader because you were always so bubbly & encouraging & helpful.  Not so much anymore though, huh?  Too bad.  Well, you have a blessed life...you're gonna need it.
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