My latest update (very very long)

So as many of you know, August 1st, I was rushed to the ER with what we found was a gastro intestinal bleed. When he scoped it, he found that it was at the anastamosis so he cauterized it and shrunk it with epinephrine. Well, 4 weeks, tons of Vicodin, Phenergan and Carafate later, we were scoped Monday, 9/14. He was anticipating a stricture but we were relieved to find that there wasn't a stricture, there was no imflammation and only slightly irritation and the ulcer was mostly healing. He took pics for me to take to my RNY surgeon and that was it.

I already had an appt with my RNY surgeon, Dr Bautista, scheduled for today. So off I go, with the pictures of my insides, wondering what we would discuss. Well... after much discussion, he is ready to swear to what he thinks could be wrong. He doesn't want to put me threw an upper GI because he's sure that since I can't really tolerate any food or beverage that the barium won't stay in either. And he says that we could do that and it not even show what it is he suspects... And that is that my intestines have started to seperate right where the bypass intestines is reconnect at the base or that there is a slight bowel obstruction somewhere.

He has scheduled me for laproscopic surgery on Oct 1. He is also inserting a feeding tube due to the fact that over the last few weeks, especially, I am literally down to consuming 500 calories or less daily. The lack of nutrients is starting to affect me in many other ways. My weight loss, of course, has stopped. My hair is falling out and I am, some days, literally so exhausted that I can't get out of bed and have found myself being able to sleep between 15-20 hrs a day. My moods are changing, my emotions are being affected and one of the biggest problems is that I was noticing that I was at the point where I was beginning to not care, and to not want to go to another dr appt for fear of what could go wrong next.

That has changed. And I know what I MUST do. The first thing is that I HAVE to stop feeling sorry for me and stop blaming myself. While I am not nor will I ever be the poster child for WLS or patients that have had open heart surgery, for that matter, I mostly do the very best I can. After all, I am only human. I refuse to lay in bed at night and worry that I truly am going to die sooner than I had ever thought. I am putting every bit of faith and trust I have in my surgeon and God, (which lately is a HUGE deal for me) and I am having the surgery and I am knowing that this will help correct the issues I have been having. I am going to continue to take my meds, even if I have to choke them down! And I have even started seeing a therapist who specializes in eating disorders.

I know there are a few newbies around our boards, and even a few that are contemplating having WLS. I would NEVER post this to put fear in them or to deter them from having this if this is what they are definite is the right choice for them. I had my surgery April 30, 2008, weighing over 350 lbs. It wasn't until 15 months later that I had the first bit of problems, which is when they found the bleeding ulcer. I have lost over 200 lbs and have found relief from sleep apnea, high blood pressure, even though I still suffer from a heart condition requiring open heart surgery, and I was able to stop taking my 4 shots of insulin, 1000 units a day. For the newbies, pre and post op.... I DO NOT EVER REGRET HAVING MY WLS. If I knew 15 months ago what would happen, would I still have it? ABSOLUTELY, AND I SAY THAT WITH EVERY POUND I'VE LOST BEHIND ME!! While there may be complications and situations may arise, if you truly know that this surgery is right for you, you will never regret it.

Just remember... I'm a former unhealthy fat girl, on my way to rocking healthiness in Skinnyville! See ya there!!!

Theresa Maria,

You are truly a beautiful person. Stay encouraged and positive. It is encouraging to see that even through your health problems, you are still inspiring.

I remember reading your post from before, while I was waiting for my surgery date and I thought of you as the little engine that could; because you kept going and never gave up.

My prayers are with you and I know that your surgery will go well and you will be fine. Always remember that all things are according to GOD's plan and he will never leave us nor forsake us.

I will leave you with one of my favorite sciptures. When I'm facing any type of adversity or I feel that I'm at my wits end and sometimes just want to give up; I meditate on this and I just pray LORD, keep me behind the shield.

Psalm 3:3

But thou, O LORD, art a shield for me; my glory, and the lifter up of mine head.


May GOD continue to bless you always.

Thanks MerMer for writing. It means alot!

I don't know about being the little engine that could or being an inspiration, but I just do what I think I'm supposed to do.

I appreciate your prayer although I have to admit, that lately, with all the things going on, that I have lost alot of my faith, with my drs, friends and even God. But I keep praying, even praying for more faith!

Thank you for the scripture. It does help. Again, thanks for the thoughts, well wishes and prayers. They truly do mean alot!

Theresa,

This is a very informative post & I'm very happy to see that you've incorporated leaning on God into your daily routines. Having faced the health issues that you have & still facing each day as it comes and NOT giving up/in is determination & its great to see that you have a good team & a wonderful plan in place. Wishing you all best for your upcoming surgery!

Hi Kat! I don't know how well I am doing incorporating God into my life. I admit that I have gotten off track regarding that and that I have lost alot of my faith, in him as well as friends and some people in general. I truly find it hard to have faith in things with all that's been happening but I am working on it, or at least trying!

Thanks so much for the well wishes and good thought! They mean alot to me!

Theresa, thanks for sharing the ups and downs of your journey.  You have been in my prayers & continue to be.  Sounds like your surgeon is keepign on top of things & it is great that he has a plan.  Hope you are feeling better soon!!

Hi Court. I appreciate you writing.

Thanks so much for all the good thoughts and prayers. They mean alot to me!

It sounds like things are starting to take a positive turn, and though it may involve surgery, it will be taken care of.  Stay strong and take care of yourself through all of this.  You are in my thoughts and prayers.

Theresa Marie,  You are couragegous with everything that has happened.  You continue to be in my prayers.   We all need to know the reality of our surgery and we appreciate you sharing this.

God Bless!

TM - thanks for posting this, i'm glad you shared it with us.  I keep you in my daily prayers, keep up the good work. lys