Thought For The Day!!!

To live by another’s opinion of you is to make the absurd assumption that only in someone else’s mind are you real.



I don't know who said this, but thought - "WOW" when I came across it.

How often do we try to live up to the opinions of someone else, while forgetting that we have perfectly acceptable opinions of our own???  And guess what???  Our opinions matters just as much (hell....MORE) than what someone elses opinion is.  Especially when it comes to us.  They have not lived our lives...have not walked in our shoes....had our internal battles/fights/b*tch sessions.

I remember in jr high, I wanted to try out for field hockey and my mother told me that I could not do it because I had bad knees....then I wanted to try out for cheerleading, and she told me that my ankles were weak......in high school, I told her that I wanted to be a lawyer and she told me that I wasn't smart enough.  All of these opinions set the stage for how I would think of myself.  I was told that I had a big nose and to this day, my nose is a serious issue for me (yes....I want PS to fix it - just have to wait for hubby to deploy, because he's against it).  But...here I am in my early 40's and I have found out that underneath everything, I am an athlete.....I went back to school (a few years ago) and got my Bacs degree with a 4.0, and have done very well in my short time working for the government - so I AM smart.  Hence...her opinions of me were false and were not validated.

Another example.....recently, in the news, was a woman who was on Britain's got Talent.  She went onto the stage and becuase of how she looked, the audience and judges instantly created their opinion of her - they thought she was going to be a joke.  And even treated her like a joke.  Now...she had 2 options:  Stay there and show them what she had to offer, or 2....Take their opinion and make herself the joke.  She took the 1st option and FLOORED everyone with her talent.  She let herself be real,a nd now she has been signed to a record deal and her dreams are being met.

So...the way I interpret today's thought is simply this.....make yourself a real person to yourself.  Have your OWN opinion of yourself, and make your opinion MORE important than some one elses.  Your dreams will come true ONLY if you let your real opinion of you come forward.  You can be anything you want to be.  You can be an athlete (we have many here who are tearing it up on the 1/2 marathons), and you can have success (we have many who have over come MANY obstacles to be successful).

Enjoy your weekend.......

Amen!!!!  My mother told me I was always an independent baby.  And I was always gone against the grain.  During my teenage years it caused me to rebel. But my mother and grandmother succeeded a a couple of time. They always thought I had a big nose, even when I was born.  The joke was, the DR that delivered me was to take me because he could afford the nose job on me.  Well guess what, at age 16 I got a nose job.  Then I also got a breast reduction because my breast were to big. (40DD)  I was always told what I could not do.  And I almost failed out of high school.  Other turbulent things happened during my teenage years as well.

When I had my oldest the first thing my mom and grandma said was her nose.  She has my nose. I immediately told them they are NEVER to say anything to her about her features.  If my daughter feels something is wrong, let come to me and I will talk with her about it.  And if she feels she needs to do something about it, she can make that decision when she is an adult.  I tell my children they can do anything they want as long as they give it their all.  Anything is possible.

I have surpassed all expectation anyone had of me.  I have received my BA in business graduation Cum Laude and I am about 3 classes from my MBA with a 3.75 GPA.  I have been successful in my career path with the government contractor I work for.  I have received a promotion a little over a year out and expecting another one within the next year after I get my MBA.  My most recent performance review, my manager sees me a s Dept. Business Manager in the year and a Business Unit Business Manager (her position) within 5 years.  She told me that people can go through all the training they want and may not be able to be a manager because they lack that "it" factor.  I have that "it" factor. 

My mother told me, she always thought I would be her ball and chain....(there is a second part that I will not put here).  I talked to my other grandmother (Dad's mom) and she told me she was surprised at how well I am doing as an adult and in my career.  She thought I was going to amount to nothing.

I work with teen girls at a local domestic violence organization.  The on thing I tell them is about allowing other people's opinions rule their live.  Someone always has something to say, but what matter is what you have to say.  Allowing their words control what reactions or actions you have, you are only giving them the power and control over you.  The only person who should have power and control over you is yourself.  How you feel about yourself is the only thing that matters.  And a dream is only a goal not put into action and no completion date..   

Fantastic thought for the day.

For me my mother was terrifically supportive.   She always told me I could be anything I wanted, and I could do anything I set my mind too.   That's what lead me to pursue my Electrical Engineering degree.  Unfortunately, she worked 3 jobs and was going to night school through most of my childhood, so I didn't get to see her a lot.   My brother was the critical one.   I know he loved me, and that he was just trying to mother me, but his comments always hurt.   I loved him and respected him, so wen he put me down, I felt I had failed.  Later in my life I went through some difficult times which made me seek help.   What I learned was that I am just as important as anyone else, and that I deserve to take care of me the same way I took care of others.  I learned to be kind to me.   I also learned that the most important opinion was my own.  I know me better than anyone else ever can.   I am the only person that has walked in my shoes.   Others may have walked in similar shoes, but they can never walk in mine.   The only one I know who walks in my shoes is Jesus.   And I know he loves me unconditionally.  I don't listen to negative opinions anymore.  I just listen to my heart.

I love this post.  I too am working on my opinion of myself and am finally getting to the point where I value myself more than any  view of another.  It's SO easy to get sucked into the **** we used to hear when I was younger and heavier "You have a pretty face but...".  Now I have a pretty face, a nicer body to match and a kick ass attitude which was taken back up a notch from the self confidance that surgery and being in control of my life gave me.  :)

I grew up with a Marine father, so he taught me pretty much to ignore folks and their opinions.  I was told the old saying "opinions are like arseholes, everyone has one"   So from my perspective I never let too much bother me of what people thought, that is until I had my own kids.  For some reason the way they acted in public mattered a lot to me, so much in fact that I was a little hard on them for a while.  Since then I have realized and went back to the old "I don't really care what you think" attitude and I have been a lot less stressed and my kids have been happier when we go out.  I believe being happy with yourself and as long as things dont bother you screw what other people think.  There was one opinion. my mother's, who always reminded me to Clean my Plate!  and I learned to do that well, in fact too well (just look at my pics)  and that has stuck with me all these years even today after my surgery, I clean my plate, i just use a VERY SMALL plate now, so my Mom would still be proud of me :)  She showed Love through food and you can look at my pics and tell how much she loved me!  

Jil and everyone - thanks for posting this, it all sounds so familar to me as well.  that's why there's a TON of things i will never say to my daughter, and actually BE supportive of her and her decisions...Jill - was your mom related to my dad?  they sound like twins!  I'm am proud of each and every one of you! and how far you have all come.  lys