Does our board need a shake-up?
Jill, Jill, Jill, MY JILL!!!! I am sooooo excited that you posted this response. THANK YOU for being so candid...REALLY! And for the record...I have missed you so very much! You just don't even know how much! And I would like to comment on each of your bullets.
1. I don't know WHO made such hateful comments, but I'm here to say to YOU out there that DID say such hateful things **** off!! (Not you, Jill) AND if the person that said those things is reading this, you better change your way of thinking & communicating. I personally found Jill's accomplishments & abilities INSPIRATIONAL. She gave me something to work towards, to look forward to. So IF you are still here, I highly recommend that you change your attitude, if you haven't already. And Jill, IF you decide to come back to us again, & IF something like that is said to you again, speak up! That person should have been reported. I am so proud of you & what you have accomplished. I sincerely feel a loss since you've been away & have wondered how you are, how your life is, what sort of new adventures you've discovered. We have a whole new crop of newbies that could benefit from your knowledge, not to mention us old timers.
2. I hear your frustration, Jill. But the truth is there is ALWAYS going to be some that just will never get it. There are some that probably were never ready to have this surgery, but then we're only required to see a shrink ONCE during pre-op. I believe the trick is to recognize the ones that are sincere & really want to learn, & separate them from the ones that are not committed to their own success. Those are fairly easy to spot in a relatively short period of time. You simply don't have to respond to them if you don't want to. This is supposed to be a positive place for us all...that includes you, my love.
3. I totally get this too & it's one of the reasons I started this thread. People, you cannot expect those we look up to to just keep hanging it out there when ya'll won't participate. This lady started at the same place we all did...morbidly obese. She got her surgery jumping through all the same hoops we all had to jump through. She pushed herself, worked her tool. She IS one of our success stories. If she puts her time out there, we owe it to ourselves to pay attention, learn from her, & let her know that she matters just as much as the rest of us, because guess what? Just because you reach goal doesn't mean your journey is over. It's always going to be a work in progress, thus the lifetime committment & responsibility to ourselves, not to mention common courtesy & respect we owe to those that are able to lead us to success. These MENTORS should never be taken for granted.
4. This one's a tough subject because it is so personal for you. I am sorry that you were betrayed. Jill, the only thing I can think of to say is please don't lump all of us together like a herd of sheep. It really sucks that your trust was not respected or appreciated. But we all aren't like that. I know it's easy for me to ask you to push that all aside. Maybe I'm not being fair to you, & maybe I'm being a bit selfish, but only because I really believe in you, & I trust your guidance & leadership. I need you. So many others need you. And if I may be so bold, perhaps you still need us? Or at least I hope so.
Jill, people cross our paths, come into our lives for a reason. You have overcome so many obstacles. Like it or not, you ARE an inspiration to many, & yet to be an inspiration to many more to come. I know it's asking a lot, but I am speaking to you from my heart...as your friend that loves you, respects you, admires you...I need you. WE need you. I cannot guarantee that there won't be knuckleheads here ever again...that just wouldn't be realistic. And I can't guarantee that you won't still yell at your computer ever again. But I will be here for you. And I bet there are many others that will attest to the same. I sincerely hope that you will reconsider & come back HOME.
1. I don't know WHO made such hateful comments, but I'm here to say to YOU out there that DID say such hateful things **** off!! (Not you, Jill) AND if the person that said those things is reading this, you better change your way of thinking & communicating. I personally found Jill's accomplishments & abilities INSPIRATIONAL. She gave me something to work towards, to look forward to. So IF you are still here, I highly recommend that you change your attitude, if you haven't already. And Jill, IF you decide to come back to us again, & IF something like that is said to you again, speak up! That person should have been reported. I am so proud of you & what you have accomplished. I sincerely feel a loss since you've been away & have wondered how you are, how your life is, what sort of new adventures you've discovered. We have a whole new crop of newbies that could benefit from your knowledge, not to mention us old timers.
2. I hear your frustration, Jill. But the truth is there is ALWAYS going to be some that just will never get it. There are some that probably were never ready to have this surgery, but then we're only required to see a shrink ONCE during pre-op. I believe the trick is to recognize the ones that are sincere & really want to learn, & separate them from the ones that are not committed to their own success. Those are fairly easy to spot in a relatively short period of time. You simply don't have to respond to them if you don't want to. This is supposed to be a positive place for us all...that includes you, my love.
3. I totally get this too & it's one of the reasons I started this thread. People, you cannot expect those we look up to to just keep hanging it out there when ya'll won't participate. This lady started at the same place we all did...morbidly obese. She got her surgery jumping through all the same hoops we all had to jump through. She pushed herself, worked her tool. She IS one of our success stories. If she puts her time out there, we owe it to ourselves to pay attention, learn from her, & let her know that she matters just as much as the rest of us, because guess what? Just because you reach goal doesn't mean your journey is over. It's always going to be a work in progress, thus the lifetime committment & responsibility to ourselves, not to mention common courtesy & respect we owe to those that are able to lead us to success. These MENTORS should never be taken for granted.
4. This one's a tough subject because it is so personal for you. I am sorry that you were betrayed. Jill, the only thing I can think of to say is please don't lump all of us together like a herd of sheep. It really sucks that your trust was not respected or appreciated. But we all aren't like that. I know it's easy for me to ask you to push that all aside. Maybe I'm not being fair to you, & maybe I'm being a bit selfish, but only because I really believe in you, & I trust your guidance & leadership. I need you. So many others need you. And if I may be so bold, perhaps you still need us? Or at least I hope so.
Jill, people cross our paths, come into our lives for a reason. You have overcome so many obstacles. Like it or not, you ARE an inspiration to many, & yet to be an inspiration to many more to come. I know it's asking a lot, but I am speaking to you from my heart...as your friend that loves you, respects you, admires you...I need you. WE need you. I cannot guarantee that there won't be knuckleheads here ever again...that just wouldn't be realistic. And I can't guarantee that you won't still yell at your computer ever again. But I will be here for you. And I bet there are many others that will attest to the same. I sincerely hope that you will reconsider & come back HOME.
Hugs!
Ann
Please help support our troops in harm's way. Go to AnySoldier.com
Tomorrow is our future...yesterday our history...today our surprise & that's why it's called Present! 
Hi Jill! I have thought of you often! I miss your posts, even though moving became harder and harder due to issues with my heart but I so enjoyed reading them. Hope you are doing well! Hugs to you!
Theresa Marie
Lap RNY - April 30, 2008
Open heart surgery (mitral valve repair & MAZE) - April 13, 2009
356/297.5/152.5/170/150 - consult/surgery morn/now/dr goal/my goal
Skinnyville is NO longer miles away... It's a mere walk to the corner!!
Facebook me @ Theresa Marie Lehman
Lap RNY - April 30, 2008
Open heart surgery (mitral valve repair & MAZE) - April 13, 2009
356/297.5/152.5/170/150 - consult/surgery morn/now/dr goal/my goal
Skinnyville is NO longer miles away... It's a mere walk to the corner!!
Facebook me @ Theresa Marie Lehman
Hey Jill,
Wanted to touch on a few of your points here. I love the "What Are YOU Doing To Move Today" post. I'm glad you've posted it today. I am happy to see all the work, time & effort you put into your health & exercise. To me, its never been bragging. Only inspirational. We're all different. Some folks love the gym. I don't. I enjoy nature. Some folks enjoy running. I am unable to at this time. We all have to cater our programs to fit our needs but that there is hope for any of us to simply get moving & make our lives healthier/better is the best part. We all need motivation & encouragement. Once again, thanks & hope to see it moving forward.
As for my daily posts, they are not to blab about everything single thing I do doing each day but its to show that each day I get up, get moving, accomplish more than I did before WLS & that there are always new opportunities in each day to see things you didn't the day before or at all. Its also to shed light on all types of days not just the good ones. Its showing that everyone has days when they need their spirit lifted & instead of being the giver they are able to receive, build, grow & overcome negativity. I posted today. I may continue it moving forward. I at times miss it. I love the connection to others & seeing things in their lives & activities I may like to enjoy in mine. As to the lack of responses, I'm not seeking a response from every single person every single day. That being said its pleasant when we can come together and take those couple of minutes to "be there" for one another. Sometimes its just being heard for me. Its a benefit to participate. I hope it picks up.
The behind the scenes situations will always happen. We have to find ways to forge ahead in spite of those people/situations. I'm a huge believer in what goes around comes around/Karma & in Reason, Season, Lifetime. We have to face challenges head on and allow ourselves to feel & experience the emotions that we do. I think we've all faced one-way friends & we know too that we need to move on our paths with folks beside us and not in front of or behind us. We've got choices. You're a strong woman with so much to offer & I absolutely love that I've been able to call you friend sincerely. Know that in all you face you aren't alone. There are hands extended out to you to walk side by side. If I'm behind you know I'm running to catch up. If I'm in front of you just call my name. :)
Love you.
Wanted to touch on a few of your points here. I love the "What Are YOU Doing To Move Today" post. I'm glad you've posted it today. I am happy to see all the work, time & effort you put into your health & exercise. To me, its never been bragging. Only inspirational. We're all different. Some folks love the gym. I don't. I enjoy nature. Some folks enjoy running. I am unable to at this time. We all have to cater our programs to fit our needs but that there is hope for any of us to simply get moving & make our lives healthier/better is the best part. We all need motivation & encouragement. Once again, thanks & hope to see it moving forward.
As for my daily posts, they are not to blab about everything single thing I do doing each day but its to show that each day I get up, get moving, accomplish more than I did before WLS & that there are always new opportunities in each day to see things you didn't the day before or at all. Its also to shed light on all types of days not just the good ones. Its showing that everyone has days when they need their spirit lifted & instead of being the giver they are able to receive, build, grow & overcome negativity. I posted today. I may continue it moving forward. I at times miss it. I love the connection to others & seeing things in their lives & activities I may like to enjoy in mine. As to the lack of responses, I'm not seeking a response from every single person every single day. That being said its pleasant when we can come together and take those couple of minutes to "be there" for one another. Sometimes its just being heard for me. Its a benefit to participate. I hope it picks up.
The behind the scenes situations will always happen. We have to find ways to forge ahead in spite of those people/situations. I'm a huge believer in what goes around comes around/Karma & in Reason, Season, Lifetime. We have to face challenges head on and allow ourselves to feel & experience the emotions that we do. I think we've all faced one-way friends & we know too that we need to move on our paths with folks beside us and not in front of or behind us. We've got choices. You're a strong woman with so much to offer & I absolutely love that I've been able to call you friend sincerely. Know that in all you face you aren't alone. There are hands extended out to you to walk side by side. If I'm behind you know I'm running to catch up. If I'm in front of you just call my name. :)
Love you.
Kitty Kat - Lap RNY 29th Jan 03 
Blessed Momma to ♥ Kayla & Nora ♥
Sober since 25th Aug 07 www.the-butterfly-chronicles.blogspot.com
Thankful for the easy, grateful for the hard & hopeful for tomorrow.
Well I for one will admit I am a true lurker. I do check in and post a little, but have to admit that for the most part I just don't feel what I have to say is that important or will add anything to the subject. I have always been that way, even after losing 200 pounds doesn't help with the confidence I need as far as groups are concerned and if though this one is online there is still judging and competition going on that I have a hard time dealing with at times. So I will try to do better and hope others come back and continue our great support we need
Karen Be gentle and kind
Lost over 200 pounds
Not skinny by any means but happy by all means :)
Hey Karen,
What you have to say IS important. I cannot tell the number of times when someone has posted and/or replied where it may seem like its no big deal to them but its HUGE to others. You NEVER know when what you are posting/replying will truly speak volumes to another person. Judging & competition happens all the time in life. You truly have to take those both with a grain of salt and firmly remind yourself YOU are ONLY YOU and not someone else. You make the best choices, decisions & goals for YOURSELF. A key thing here also is letting alone the gossip. Go to the source if something is discouraging you. I love your updates & am proud of your journey so far. :)
Hugs.....
What you have to say IS important. I cannot tell the number of times when someone has posted and/or replied where it may seem like its no big deal to them but its HUGE to others. You NEVER know when what you are posting/replying will truly speak volumes to another person. Judging & competition happens all the time in life. You truly have to take those both with a grain of salt and firmly remind yourself YOU are ONLY YOU and not someone else. You make the best choices, decisions & goals for YOURSELF. A key thing here also is letting alone the gossip. Go to the source if something is discouraging you. I love your updates & am proud of your journey so far. :)
Hugs.....
Kitty Kat - Lap RNY 29th Jan 03 Blessed Momma to ♥ Kayla & Nora ♥ Sober since 25th Aug 07 www.the-butterfly-chronicles.blogspot.com Thankful for the easy, grateful for the hard & hopeful for tomorrow.Hi. My name is Melissa and I am a lurker.
(this is where everyone says, "hello melissa") ha ha
Really, I have been a member since ??? i really do not know. I have been thinking of WLS surgery for a while, and I have only begun the process. I have met with my chosen doctor (Robert Pinnar) I have just had my psych eval (and wow was that an eye opener, for many other reasons than the weight issue). And now I wait for the insurance. To be truthful, I still haven't decided that I am going to go through with anything. That is mainly why I lurk. I like to be well informed before I make such a huge decision. I want to know the highs and lows and hear people stories. I marvel at the openness and compassion that you all have and I fully appreciate everything I read. I am not a daily Internet person, nor do I have access at work, so posting will be a little harder. But I do like this group and would love to join, as I know that I have tons of questions and would love the support along my way.
Oh yeah, I babble, if you haven't noticed.
Well that's it for now. I have made myself known and encourage other lurkers to emerge.
Ann, I unfortunately have some personal business to attend to tonight, but wanted you to know that I read this and feel like hoisting you up on my shoulders. YOU ROCK. I love you dearly and am SO glad you brought this topic to the forefront.
TO EVERYONE - I deeply miss this board. I miss WANTING to come here everyday and read the wonderful things I read. I do. I miss the regulars and I miss being there for the newbies. Not getting into too much detail, there is alot going on in my life right now. I havne't been as attentive as I would like to be, but I am going to make an honest effort to participate more. Just so you all know, and I've said it many times before - I AM HONORED TO BE A PART OF YOUR JOURNIES. And you are keeping me accountable to myself and staying successful as being the support system in my life. I appreciate all of you, and you hold a special place in my heart.
The VA Board was the first and only board I particiapating in for a LONG time. I've always considered it "home base". I am excited about creating a new future here and a board full of spark and life again! :)
TO EVERYONE - I deeply miss this board. I miss WANTING to come here everyday and read the wonderful things I read. I do. I miss the regulars and I miss being there for the newbies. Not getting into too much detail, there is alot going on in my life right now. I havne't been as attentive as I would like to be, but I am going to make an honest effort to participate more. Just so you all know, and I've said it many times before - I AM HONORED TO BE A PART OF YOUR JOURNIES. And you are keeping me accountable to myself and staying successful as being the support system in my life. I appreciate all of you, and you hold a special place in my heart.
The VA Board was the first and only board I particiapating in for a LONG time. I've always considered it "home base". I am excited about creating a new future here and a board full of spark and life again! :)
369/175/136
Highest Weight/Goal/Current Weight
233lbs LOST!!
Maintenance going strong!
(deactivated member)
on 4/2/09 11:52 am - Woodbridge, VA
on 4/2/09 11:52 am - Woodbridge, VA
I will say I find it difficult to post on the VA board. I think DSers tend to stay on the DS board, and I guess I don't see the problem with others going to the RNY board, band boards, etc., which I assume is what is happening. I almost never see another VA DSer posting here on the VA board, which makes it very difficult for me to ask questions because I get RNY advice, which isn't always applicable. When I try to recommend to newbies that they explore ALL their surgical options, I'm typically ignored. When I post my own experiences, it immediately gets pointed out that I am NOT an RNY so others don't heed my advice.
And so, I rarely post here. I DO have a great support system of DSers locally, but none that I've met here on the VA board.
And so, I rarely post here. I DO have a great support system of DSers locally, but none that I've met here on the VA board.
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