I'm bat **** crazy

SweetLuvableAngel
on 2/20/09 1:27 am

I have tried to put on a brave face since this surgery and have been doing a decent job at it. I can't do it anymore. I hate that I had this surgery. I HATE IT! If I could turn back the clock, I would. My husband is leaving tomorrow for a 6 month cruise and I've never felt so vulnerable in my life. We've done these cruises 5 times now. I should be okay. I'm not though. I want to check myself into a psych unit because I seriously think I'm having a mental breakdown but that scares me on so many levels. I'm scared they won't feed me properly. I'm scared because we need every bit of my husband's income and if he doesn't go out to sea we're out A$450 a month. I'm terrified that if he goes though that I'll give in to my thoughts. I constantly think of death. I don't want to kill myself. I really don't. I just feel so hopeless and I'm in so much pain. I don't know what to do. All I do is friggin' cry constantly. I don't know what to do. Please, don't hammer me with the "it's going to get better and you won't regret this surgery" comments. It's all sounds like bull**** to me right now. I'm in the lowest place I've been in my life and I'm terrified. Please don't go calling any stupid suicide people on me either. I'm not going to kill myself. I'm just going crazy. Sorry for all the profanity. I need help.

Jamie
Starting wt./surgery wt/current/goal
251/239/105/130
I gained 10 lbs.! Wooohooo!

Tam
on 2/20/09 1:39 am - Richmond, VA

RNY on 04/25/05

Jamie,

I am here for you. Call me anytime...day or night! Do you still have my number? Make an appointment with a mental health counselor. This is nothing to be ashamed. I went thru it and wondered what in the hell I had done to myself. Being alone after a major surgery is scary. Knowing how long he is gone for is even scarier. It is not like he will be back in a week or two. You WILL survive this. You ARE strong. I am here anytime for you!

Tammy C

down 260+ pounds and loving life more than ever!!!
proud mom to Kara 12-08-1994 and our newest addition Claire Makenna born 03-26-09 weighing 6 lbs 13 ounces and 19.25 inches long and very healthy. happily dating...i honestly never knew it could be this good! there is that special Guy for everyone out there...either you already have him or you will find him when He is ready for it!

open RNY 04-25-2005

Life could not get any better than this!

~ Julie ~
on 2/20/09 1:41 am - Reston, VA

RNY on 04/18/06 with

Hi, you kind of sound a lot like me after they tried me on the Seasonale BC... I went absolutely insane for about a wee****il my boyfriend told me in no uncertain terms that he couldn't take it anymore and to quit taking that crap.

Are you having any actual eating or digestion problems, or is this kind of "all in your head"? (don't get mad! I can't think of a better way to phrase that! :) )

I am thinking that what you're experiencing MIGHT be hormonal... considering that hormones are stored in fat, and you're only (slightly less than) a month out, and here's the time where that starts to go crazy. It's like you were storing a bunch of 2 liters of soda in a warehouse, and someone came and shook them all at once. You're losing fat, and the hormones have to go somewhere too.

I don't remember going through that to that degree myself, but I HAVE noticed that while I did not have PMS preop, I do suffer (well, Pete suffers more :) ) with it a bit postop.

Best of luck! It will get better!

399 /371 /173.2/155
initial/preop/now/goal

The tough part of WLS is not the first year, it's those that follow.

SweetLuvableAngel
on 2/20/09 1:59 am

RNY on 01/26/09

Tammy, I don't and have never had your number.

Yes, this is probably all in my head. I have a history of mental illness. I have severe depressive disorder, OCD and anxiety disorder. I'm medicated. None of that is helping. I've had a protein shake today. I can't seem to get anything down past the lump in my throat today foodwise. My husband just put in a call to my psychiatrist. I'm sure I'm getting a one way ticket to the loony bin. Just ******g great. On a good note, if they admit me, my husband will stay here. On a bad note, it's gonna screw up our finances, possibly get him retired from the Navy (with no job on the horizon to speak of), and my children will.....I don't know. This sucks. And then it sucks some more.

Jamie
Starting wt./surgery wt/current/goal
251/239/105/130
I gained 10 lbs.! Wooohooo!

Tam
on 2/20/09 5:45 am - Richmond, VA

RNY on 04/25/05

OK...I thought you had my number from before surgery...I am sending it to you in a PM in a minute. Try and remember that after WLS our bodies absorb the meds diferently and that could be all this is. It WILL all work out. I am here for you, sweetie!

Tammy C

down 260+ pounds and loving life more than ever!!!
proud mom to Kara 12-08-1994 and our newest addition Claire Makenna born 03-26-09 weighing 6 lbs 13 ounces and 19.25 inches long and very healthy. happily dating...i honestly never knew it could be this good! there is that special Guy for everyone out there...either you already have him or you will find him when He is ready for it!

open RNY 04-25-2005

Life could not get any better than this!

Melissa N.
on 2/20/09 2:19 am - Stafford, VA

Jamie, sweetie, BREATH!! Take 3 seconds and three very deep breaths. You are going through a lot right now. You body has had major surgery. You are losing weight very fast, your fat cells are being depleted. While this is happening you are having a rush of estrogen through your body. This will cause a hormal imbalance which will effect many aspects of you body. I nearly killed my mother right after surgery. You also probably feel out of control of your cir****tances right now. It is a great idea to see your psychiatrist. You will probably need an adjustment on your medication to adjust for what your body is going through. What is happening is pure hell on your body and hormonally and chemically it is trying to adjust.

I know you say you will not do a sucidie attempt, but it is probably a good idea to make a safety plan. Just in case you get to that breaking point.

Do you have any relaxation techniques that are useful? Taking a bath? A long walk? Hitting a pillow, screaming into a pillow.  Anything that may help to allivate that pint up anxiety and release the tension?

Many hugs sweetie.

415/375/180/175
highest/surgery day/current/ goal

Sharon_66
on 2/20/09 2:27 am, edited 2/20/09 2:29 am - Chesapeake, VA

RNY on 01/29/09

I just talked to Jamie and her husband is taking her to the doctor. She is very overwhelmed. She is dealing with recovery, hormones and extra emotions, her husband deploying, her kid sick, and she is also recovering from the stomach flu. All very understandable. She or her husband is going to call me later to let me know how she is doing. She was upset and I tried to encourage her that going to the doctor was the right thing to do. She was worried about being admitted. If she is, I will go visit her.

Pat F.
on 2/20/09 3:55 am - Richmond, VA

Please let us know how things turn out. Please tell Jamie that we are thinking about her and we care. Please tell her not to feel bad about anything that she has said it is her feelings and I for one understand.

~~Theresa Marie~~
on 2/20/09 4:32 am - Closing in on SkinnyVille, VA

RNY on 04/30/08

Bless her heart. Please let her know that I am thinking about her and praying for her. I am sure she is scared to death but she made the right decision in going to get help. Please keep us posted on her and wish her well.

Hugs!

Theresa Marie
Lap RNY - April 30, 2008
Open heart surgery (mitral valve repair & MAZE) - April 13, 2009
356/297.5/152.5/170/150 - consult/surgery morn/now/dr goal/my goal
Skinnyville is NO longer miles away... It's a mere walk to the corner!!
Facebook me @ Theresa Marie Lehman

Tam
on 2/20/09 5:46 am - Richmond, VA

RNY on 04/25/05

If she is...let me know. I will come down tomorrow or Sunday and visit her, too! Heck, I may come anyway and visit with anyone that is available!

Tammy C

down 260+ pounds and loving life more than ever!!!
proud mom to Kara 12-08-1994 and our newest addition Claire Makenna born 03-26-09 weighing 6 lbs 13 ounces and 19.25 inches long and very healthy. happily dating...i honestly never knew it could be this good! there is that special Guy for everyone out there...either you already have him or you will find him when He is ready for it!

open RNY 04-25-2005

Life could not get any better than this!

I'm bat **** crazy

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I'm bat **** crazy