what would you do?

Thanks, Lys,

My mom was also in a nursing home for about three months last year ****il Medicare told her and them that they needed to prove that she needed to be there, and they couldn't) and I could not stand that place... I'm sorry to hear that yours is in one as well.

The whole time she was in there I couldn't wait for her to be out, and now, while I don't want her to go back, I realize how much easier things were while she was there.

Best of luck to you, too.

Julie

-Hijack-  Lys, how IS your Mom doing now?  Has her transition been a good one so far?  And how are YOU coping with the change?

Ann - i'm doing fine, the nursing home has called me 2x already to let me know how she's transitioning.  Since she's fairly non-responsive now, there's not a lot to let you know how she's doing.  (does that make sense?)  thanks for asking.  i'm meeting with them on tuesday to discuss her care plan. 

Julie,

I agree with many of the comments others have made, but not with all of the conclusions.  You love your folks and want to help - that is a good thing.  But just because it is "good" to help some doesn't mean that doing more is necessarily "better". 

I encourage you to not allow yourself to be motivated by guilt , fear, or debt, but instead by affection, love, and reason.  With thought and prayer, decide for yourself what is really necessary and appropriate - for them and for you. If possible, consult an outside party or organization in your parent's town (a doctor, pastor, or social worker).  And speak with your own doctor, pastor , or counselor about the role you could or should play in caring for your parents.

And you don't need to make a "forever" decision to go there every 2 weeks or every 3 weeks.  Try different approaches and see how it works.

Joe

Thanks Joe,

I think you understood what I meant... I DO want to be there for them, I DO want to help, but I do NOT want to do it knowing that I am sort of a doormat in the process.

I am very much hoping to get things worked out a little better this weekend.

Julie

AMEN, Joe, to everything you said.  Very well put.