Have you ever....

just really wanted to scream and not for any particular reason? Well, that is my current mood. Along with extreme amount of frustration.

Started going back to school about 2 months ago. Was loving it. Having a great time and was looking forward to the period in which we started to actually learn hair cutting. Well that was 2 weeks ago. A week into it, I injured my eye, scratching the cornea in 2 places and ripping a piece of it. Every time it re opened after being closed and each blink would make it worse. So after a week out of school and 3 visits to the opthamologist, it is finally on the mend but... with that week & 1/2 off of school, spending more time with Cameron at his school, I have lost interest in my school. I have not been as happy lately as I was when I was with him at school all day long.

And here I am, set to go back to school tomorrow to try to catch up 10 days of work, 13 hair cuts and 2 tests in 2 1/2 days, and Cameron's winter break is starting. I don't really want to go back. The interest is lost and my motivation isn't there.

I sit here, thinking... That if I had made another decision, gone back to nursing school and picked up where I left off, I'd be done by now, and preparing for my state board. Don't get me wrong, I enjoy what I'm doing. I just am questioning if I enjoy it as much as I should be to be making a career out of it.

Not sure the purpose my post. Maybe having my thoughts put down to read will help me see what it is that I'm not seeing. When I became so huge and sick, and had to stop working for health issues, I guess I didn't ever think of what I'd do IF I ever had the miracle happen and got thinner and healthier. Now that it has happened, I really do not want to go back to what I was doing then, but am so unsure of what I want to do now that I am all grown up and HEALTHY (or at least SOOOOO much more healthier).

So here is my SCREAM!!

Take this time to enjoy your family and do some serious soul searching to your career path. I havent worked in almost 4 yrs and I am able to go back to work now and I dont know what I want to do with my future. I need to go back to school and get a degree but have no idea now what I want.


Sending you a cyber hug

That is exactly what it is. I haven't worked in so long due to health issues. When I left the work force, I was in nursing school and was working hotel management. I KNOW that I do not want to go back to the hotel industry but sometimes I think I just jumped the gun on this whole cosmetology school thing because I was just soooo happy and stunned that I was able to finally go back and do something with my life.

But thanks so much for understanding and the hugs!

I have never had a job where I can sit on my butt so I am in search of one now to do while I figure out what I want myself. I understand about the past I was in Restaurant Management  when I was unable to work anymore and I dread the thought of ever going back into that line of work. I'm really good with CAD and am thinking of getting a degree/certificate in Civil Engineering CAD.

If you dont have to work right now dont do it spend time with your son and maybe through him you will find what you are destined to do. Good Luck!!

Melanie,

I have a degree in Civil Engineering.  :)  Should you need any pointers let me know and if you do get a certificate, let me know and I'll give you tips on the best firms to try and get your foot in the door with!

Hugs!

Oh sweetie. I know how you feel. I was only out of work for 3 months and it was so hard to go back. I HATE my job. I wish I could find something I love. Unfortunately I have to do this work to pay the bills.

If you have the opportunity to decide your career, think about it. Working 40 hours just sucks to me. I HATE being away from Alex. I will never be happier than being a mom.

I will pray that you find the right answers. I wish I hate a crystal ball to tell you the right thing.

Love ya girl

Oh Brooke, that is exactly how I feel. All growing up, having a child, being a mom is all I ever wanted to do. Then when it looked as though I would never have a child, I decided to do the career thing and wham! I ended up having my miracle boy!

Like you, I am never happier than I am when I am with Cameron, or doing things for him. I've been told alot that I need to have my own identity, to have my own self, outside of him but for me, there is nothing else but him. I don't know that that is the right thing, and maybe those people are correct but sometimes I find it hard to differentiat it. Maybe I am trying to overcompensate for the lack of the other parent but I pray that I find the right path.

This surgery, for me, was all about being healthy and my being able to start living again. I NEVER thought that doing the "living again" part would be so damn complicated.

Thanks so much for the prayers. They mean so much. And I do have to get you this box of clothes doll! Love ya too!

I get what you're saying about being a mom.  To me, that is the most wonderful thing in the world.  But when I get tempted to be a stay at home mom, I think to myself how I have chosen a career that my daughter can be proud of. 

I need to work to pay my bills.  But I don't need to be working 80 hour weeks.  Instead, I chose a job where I work a solid 40-50 (some of which I do at home when I am really busy).  I drop my daughter off at daycare before 8, pick her up by 5:30.  Would I rather spend more time with her?  Yes.  But when the day comes for her to make decisions about what she wants to do and be in life, she will have good strong role models in Mom and Dad.  I am proud of my career.  It's a career my daughter can be proud of, too.  I take my girl to female doctors and dentists if at all possible.  I show her every day that women can be anything. 

At this point, you have 2 possible career paths that are both good, solid, honorable careers.  You can be proud of either.  There is nothing more honorable than earning your money.  You talk of wanting to be a SAHM...but who will support your family?  IMO, that is the most important question here.  YOU need to support yourself and your son.  If that means sticking with cosmetology, then stick with it.  If you want to be a nurse - ok.  Do it.  But now that it looks like you are capable of working, that's what you should be doing. 

It's not so much that I want to be a SAHM, but rather that I have enjoyed being around Cameron so much at his school that it made me think of maybe wanting to do something with his school. It started just one more thought in my head that is making me have trouble with the confusion.

You, along with all the others have brought up great points. I did go back to school and managed to get caught up on alot. But since this week is a short week because of Christmas, and next week is a short week because of New Year's, I have time to think and sort my thoughts.

Thank you for replying. Happy Holidays!

Hey Theresa,

Prayers coming your way that you find what you will enjoy job wise. From day one finding out I was preggers with Kayla I made a statement that I still hold close to me today ANYTHING after my buggas is a JOB not a career. THEY are my career. There is no job I want more than to be a mother. The sacrifices we make as mother's are incredible, beautiful and mean more than anything in my opinion. Honestly, a job is called that because its a job. A way and means to support us and our children. I may not like it, you may not like it but its something until we can find out what makes us tick and we find something we enjoy. Its NEVER too late to get your nursing back on track. You've got choices. Don't let anyone tell you "can't" because "CAN" is the truth.