2 1/2 weeks post op...advice needed

I'm doing okay. I'm sticking to my Dr.'s diet for me. I can't have protein shakes anymore and have moved onto eggs, cheese, peanut butter, yogurt....and on Wednesday I get to add in beans and seafood...yeah!

anyway, I'm in a bit of a pickle as far as my family goes. I live far away from my family. most of them live in Connecticut and my mom is in Florida. Well, I chose to not share my surgery with my family. I figure I will tell them eventually, but my family would likely not be supportive and probably tried to talk me out of it. So...2 days after I came home was my Brother's birthday...I forgot to call...and my card didn't get mailed in time either (I was in the hospital).

So it seems my entire family is livid because I didn't call him....I'm sitting on the fence as to wether I should go ahead and share and be off the hook for the birthday and then have them pissed I didn't tell them about the surgery in the first place...UGH

Just wondering how everyone else delt with unsupportive family???/

I'm going to PM you privately on this one...  :)

I am more concerned that you can't have protein shakes any more as you can't posibly get all of your protein from food at this stage - but you do have to go by whatever your doctor is telling you......... however even at almost three years out I still have protein shakes every day.....

As for your brother, well you could either come clean or tell them that you were not well and wait until they get over it..... or call your brother privately and see how he would take the news and swear him to secrecy...... they may even be mad that you did not tell them in the first place but the important thing is that you have done it now and they can't talk you out of it....

But only you can know how to deal with your family.........  I did not tell mine until this summer because by then I did not care what they thought - the results spoke for themselves.........

Good luck

Jackie

My Dr. has his own diet. It appears to be different from everyone else...even in the same barriatric program.

*5 protein shakes a day for 2-3 weeks pre-op

*1 shake a day 2 weeks post op

*Week 3 post op stop shakes and only eat (eggs, cheese, yogurt, cottage cheese, peanut butter, milk, couscous) 20-   30gms protein

*Week 4 add seafood (tuna, salmon, shrimp...etc...), beans, nuts 20-30gms protein

*Week 5 add chicken and turkey 30-40gms protein

*week 6 add pork, beef, veal, lamb 30-40gms protein

3-6 months increase meal to 1/2 cup 40-50gms protein

6-9 months increase meal to 3/4 cup 50-60gms protein

9-12 months increase meal to 1 cup 60+ gms protein

He says adding things slowly helps you better tolerate different  foods.

I'm doing great with this diet...I'm meeting the goals and the water requirements. I know the protein goals are low, but I'm feeling great. Thanks for being concerned.

I am completely with Jacie on this one!

For me, at first I was a little timid about telling people. But now I am so proud of what I have done, that I don't care what others think. I really enjoy talking about my surgery. Just my opinion, but I think you should tell them. This is going to be a BIG IMPORTANT part of your life forever, and I think you will enjoy sharing it with your family. Again, just my opinion. Your family may be shocked at first, but will most likely be excited for you.

Let us know if you do tell. I'm anxious to see how it goes for you.

Best of luck, Penny

Christy,

This is a personal decision. I was lucky as I had a very supportive family.  I have not really come across adverse reactions either.  There was one place that I knew I would and it is another MB that I post on.  I told them I was having the surgery and this is something I have to do for me.  And that is what you did, you made a decision for yourself and your health.  You own that decision now.  It is your life and yours to do as you please.  Goodluck in whatever decision you make!!

Yes this is a very personal decision.  I thought my family was going to be really unsupportive about this whole decision, but they actually ended up being really cool about it.  Sometimes people surprise you. 

By the way, you must be so happy to be moving onto different foods.  Barker's diet is soooo hard to stick to in my opinion.  Are you going to the next support group?  I am planning on going this time. 

Hey Christy,

Personally I met with lots of adversity from family and friends. I didn't care then and I don't care now. Having WLS SAVED MY LIFE! Its a decision I made for myself and I DID listen to family/friends before hand but let's be honest folks tend to lash out about things they don't understand and I found that to be the truth in my case. WLS is a HUGE part of my life and you accept me for ME and my choices whether you agree or not. Those are my thoughts and feelings. Now, I had my surgery almost 6 years ago and for the nay sayers in my life how quickly their opinions changed when they began to see the benefits and changes. My father had WLS 6 months after me. Several friends have had it since and I believe in it as do they. I still have some folks who think it wasn't the "best" option. Well, good for them but this is MY life.

Wishing you the best in your decisions to discuss things with your family.

Hey Christy,

I just wanted to send you some encouragment.  Family is always hard to deal with, but they love you and only want what is best for you.  I was worried about telling my sister because she talked me out of the surgery 5 years ago.  When your baby sister calls you from college crying and begs you not to do because she is afraid you will die, you tend to chicken out.  But she was so supportive this time.  I don't know if my parents talked to her or what, but it was a nice reaction.

I agree with an earlier post, if you have a good relationship with your brother and you feel comfortable talking to him, call him and let him know what's going on.  Apologize for not calling, lets face it, who hasn't forgotten to call someone they love on their birthday.  We are human and it happens.  The only person you have to worry about in this situation is your brother.  Don't beat yourself up too much and tell your family when you are ready.  Don't feel pressured to share something you aren't ready to share just to appease them.

Keep up the great work, you are doing AWESOME!!!!  Don't forget, you have a super supportive family here!

Amanda