How the board makes me feel

This has been a hard week for me.  I had to deal with two stressful family situations.  I had to deal with a crappy business owner who insulted me - TWICE.  I had to deal with my husband *****ally tested my patience.  And one of the stressful family situations brought up a very old painful memory that I'm struggling to settle back down.

That brings me to this board.  I have been coming here for just over one year.  Almost to the day.  I had to look up my old posts to be sure.  The VA Board and the ladies and gentlemen I have vitually "met" and physically met are very special to me.  As most anyone who knows me well knows, I'm a CT transplant.  I've been here for over 10 years now, but never really connected with people other than co-workers.  Having a non-social husband doesn't help much in that department.  For me, having support and a social outlet has been so wonderful for me.  I really look forward to logging on each day and seeing the wow moments, new surgery dates, inspirational messages, questions and chit chat.  :)

But since early summer, I feel like the tone of the board has changed.  At first I thought it was the summer time fun, people were out and about, not as lively online, overall I just knew alot of people had family commitments and fun summertime activities that didn't allow them to stay strapped to their computers.  I can't put my finger on it really, but know I'm not the only one who feels the change.  At the OH conference I had a conversation with a resident "lurker" who wasn't quite sure she wanted to join in the festivities based on some dramatic comments and such.  Now we are all individuals, strong individuals with strong opinions and as with any online forum or group of people there are many different personalities and you will "meet" people that you do and do not like.  Hell, you can't be kumbaya all the time.  I think we all choose our favorites so to speak, maybe people who's posts are particularly interesting to us, or someone who does an outstanding job of being a supportive partner in our transformation of our lives through WLS.  Those are the people who make this board so special to me.  There are so many of us on here now!  And so many new people joining the ranks!

I just hope that everyone gets that what you give is what you receive out of an environment like this.  I thank all of you who have given me great support and I plan to continue paying it forward.  :)  With that said, I find that certain responses I read are odd, lets say, or just the overall vibe is different that it was over the past year.  Is it just me?  or does anyone else feel this change?  I notice that there are people I used to see posting alot that never post anymore and I wonder what the reason is.

I see that there are a couple of new repeating posts that are getting people excited again (Thanks Rhonda for the daily food journal and Jill for the weekly recipes).  I see a renewed interest in posts like these.  After all, where do I learn all my secrets and tips from? - YOU ALL!  My very favorite informational post was the protein post maybe two weeks back.  I forget that all of us do things so differently and learn about many products I've never tried from you all.

So, in closing...To the lurkers - give us a try - we are a friendly bunch, MOST of the time.  To the newbies - keep throwing out your questions and keep us alerted to your special dates coming up.  To the regulars - you ARE what this board is - the backbone so to speak!  :)  and to EVERYONE - thank you for the past year of support, education and friendship that makes the VA Board my home base on OH.  I'm a regular on a couple of other forums, and perhaps I will explore those further to get my fix so to speak during this lull, but this place will always have a special place in my heart.

BIG HUGS,
Lauren

Hi Lauren,

I agree with what you have said. So I am stating right now that I plan to post more often.

Without this board, I would not have had the surgery. Having the ability to read others stories and ask many, many questions was and is great. I could not get this kind of support anywhere else.

I will say though for several months, I think I was "addicted" to this site. I was checking responses around 15-20 times per day or more (not exagerating). I had to stop that. I now usually check the board 1-2 times per day. My life use to be sitting in front of the computer, watching tv, and taking 3 hour naps everyday. That has all changed for the better now. Maybe my life is too busy now, especially since I'm not taking the time to spend with my friends.

Also, I have said before, we are like a family here. I have 9 siblings and we don't all get along everyday. But we support one another when it really counts. I hope we can do that for each other here.

I hope your week gets better. And remember...this too shall pass.

Best wishes to all, Penny

I too am a bit of an OH addict.  It has been such an integral step in surgery process.  I'm so glad to hear life and good and busy for you.  I enjoy reading your posts and look for ward to future ones!  :)

Hey Lauren,

I'm sorry the week has been so tough on you. I think that from time to time we're going to experience issues in this family just like our personal families. Sometimes words will be exchanged and they'll leave a less than desirable mood and feel of the boards. We have to learn to adapt to change and embrace one another and work through the issues we have and hope for the best.

I can say that being here 6+ years on the boards there are several folks who have come and gone and some that have stayed. A lot of folks have surgery, stick around for a while then will pop in now and then say "hey" and give us an update. Others tend to have moved on with their lives and don't stop by at all. Its human nature and it really many folks find their own paths and travel down them with others.

I'll say for me I continue to come here because I not only want support and encouragement but I need it. There are so many things I have learned and will continue to learn from others and I truly believe I am to give back all that has been given to me. As for the differences in the board its with any relationship. Reason, season, lifetime. There will be conflict and there will be those of us who develop wonderful connections and those of us who still develop a connection but its different than other relationships. One of my absolute favorite quotes: "If nothing ever changed there would be no butterflies." Embracing change is hard to do for almost everyone.

So many of the experiences I've had on and off the boards have been lessons taught and learned. From the lessons I've learned I've been able to make better decisions and know what things are "good" things and what things are not so good things. This isn't just with proteins or different foods but its with learning about myself and relationships and how the dynamics of those relationships either grow, change or dissolve.

I'll continue to come here each day and post and reply and give back and receive as well. Staying connected is incredibly important for me personally. I know that its the commitment to myself above all else so that I can continue to thrive and return the support and encouragement to others. Its takes courage to be able to come here each day and put myself out here and I realize that more and more. I've faced a lot of challenges in my WLS journey. That won't change now. So, here I am. :)

Thanks for the post Lauren. Know that you are not alone. Those lurking and not we're here when you need us and even when you don't. All best!

Thank you for your comments.  With six years of being here you can definately attest to the ebb and flow of the board.  You must have "met" SO many people during this time.   It's wonderful to be such a long standing support friend here.  :)

Lauren - big HUGS to you!  i know i'm only 7 months out since surgery, but i do find i don't post as much as i used to, i'm too busy living!! (which is still quite new to me!).  I LOVE this board and all the support and questions.  I agree the tone has changed a little, but i generaly ignore that!  Love to all!  lys

Living is the BEST, isn't it?  I too am doing things that I never thought possible and am more comfortable and more confidant doing them.  I've so enjoyed watching your journey alongside mine and look forward to continuing to see your bright posts!  :)

Lauren,

This is very well stated! 

I am sorry that you have had a rough week.  Please know that you are in my prayers and I am here if you needs me.  Just a phone call away!  We can do a cuppa or dinner...whatever.  Just getting out with good friends (family, really!) is nice.  We all have bosses that are jerks at times.  Stress can cause the worst to come out in people.  It WILL get better.  As for family...well, I know for me...family is family and will be what they are.  I have been hurt so many times by them and I am sure I will be hurt some more...but I love them  Maybe they think since we are actually family that they can walk all over us?  I don't know but it will get better.

I can't believe it has been just about a year that you have been here!  It doesn't seem that long ago.  I am glad you are still here.  Speaking of a nonsocial husband...well, I used to have one of those!  Seeing him now it is hard to believe (and you have seen what I am talking about first hand) but now he is usually the one wanting to go out or trying to put something together!  We used to go our seperate ways with friends or just stay home...now we are together as much as possible.  This surgery not only saved my life and gave me an active lifestyle but it brought us closer together.  Maybe he started to get jealous because guys were looking and even talking.  Yep, I have been asked out a bunch...sometimes when he was with me!  I don't really know what happened but it is for the better for us.  We are stronger now than ever and I couldn't be happier!
Nate will get there if and when he wants but until then...continue to be you and don't let it hold you back.

The board always seems to get this way around the summer.  I keep coming back because I need the interaction with people like me...who understand me and what I am going thru.  That is why I started coming back.  I kept coming back because I genuienly love the folks (my other family) on here.  I look forward to reading their posts, meeting for cuppas, hearing about what is going on in their lives and with their family and sharing about what is going on in mine.  Yes, we are all different with our personalities and some of us click where others "cringe" when they see a post from certain people...but we are all here...good or bad!

I do hope the lurkers come out and the "old timers" keep posting.  I treasure the friendships that I have made on this board and look for to making many, many more in the years to come!

Love ya and thanks for posting this!

Thank you for your well wishes.  Yes, family does tread in areas they shouldn't becuase they think they can.  Sigh...  I love it that Steve is an active part in your WLS journey and the friends that you have made and loves to do the activities with us.  He is fun guy!  :)  I too hope to keep coming for years to come and see everyone's progress.  :)

Lauren sorry I havent been around alot I like others have been busy and dont post as often as I should but dont get to sit down here as long at times as I once did I do still get to read some at odd hours or between my homework I watch all of your stages of your journeys Ill try to do better. Everyone does need the support I for one know this. And it is important for  people to know they have a place to come to for it and not fear us. So like you said to those lurkers I to met at the OH event please give us a try we all are pertty great.