Feeling frustrated and hating myself for asking why?? (warning: long & whiny)

Ummm due to my being a respectful person, anything after this point that I have to say will be said in messages. I hope that you can at least respect that!

Hey there girlfriend yes the test was not what you wanted but you are doing so much better. You had the surgery to better yourself and it is working and so are you. There are no way to know that the surgery did not hel*****t helped only time will tell. You might have to go back on meds for a while but it could be worse. Keep your chin up and lets take it one day at a time and lets start now. When do you start school? Look how far you have come, you are doing things now that you could not have done a couple of years ago right. I am here for you and you know all you have to do is call or ask and I will be glad to listen and help in anyway that I can. Actually we all are here for you so smile and lets get this out of our way. I want you to take it and run with it. shot it out of your way.

Hey Pat! Thanks so much for writing. I, deep down, know the reason I had the surgery. I just truly wasn't expecting things to have gotten worse.

You give great advice, as does everyone else. I just have to take a step back, stop feeling sorry for myself and realize that the surgery HAS done so much for me. I need to open my eyes and see that. And realize it. Thank you for being there and for being a friend. It means alot to me.

This sounds more like the girl I know. We all have to step back and take a look at things and start to say what else can I do to make things better. I do not mean to sound harsh but sometimes that is what we need. I will always be here and all you have to do is call out for help and we will be here. I know what you mean and I go back to the gastro doctor next month and do not know what to expect since I am still having trouble but I need to get on with life and do what I can to get better and start feeling better about myself. Call anytime you want I think you still have my number if not pm me and I will give it to you again. Love ya

I am so sorry you are going through this. "Buyers remorse" sucks big time. I unfortunately have it everyday. I know things are going to get better for the both of us. My poor husband is going to send me to the nut house. I was sobbing so hard last night. I told him I either want to wake up and not be in pain or not wake up at all. Unfortunately neither of those happened. I will be praying for you that you get an answer soon, and that the answer is not surgery. Keep me posted.

Awww Brooke. I am sorry that you are feeling the "Buyers Remorse". You definitely have gone through hell and I am very sorry for that. I too, have the crying spells. But no more thinking that you don't want to wake up, EVER! You have your husband and especially the little man! Thanks for the prayers. The more the merrier! I will definitely keep you posted and you know my #. You do the same!

Brooke, sorry you are feeling so yucky still & struggling.  I hope that things get better soon.  Please don't let the hormones & crying get to you.  With the weightloss we do go through hormone overloads (as we lose the fat cells, the trapped estrogen gets thrown out into our systems) and they can throw our emotions on a rollercoaster ride.  On top of that you are having pain & health struggles.  My heart goes out to you as you deal with all of this.  Prayers continued to come your way!!

thanks court. My poor husband has been through the ringer with me. I am just thankful of everyone I do have in my life

Definitely sounds like your visit was rough.  It is always a shock when we are expecting one outcome and something else happens.  I am glad that you are looking at options & following up with your doctor to make a plan.  Prayers are coming your way!!

You are totally right about us doing our best with our jounry & guidelines.  107 lbs in 4 months is outstanding.  You are working that tool.  As for your question of why you had surgery, like you pointed out & others said, you wanted a better life with your little man and to improve your health.  You are working on it & those things are happening.  Not necessarily exactly the way you want them to but they are happening.  Please consider that if you do have to have surgery (or what ever plan you & your doctor decided on) you are 107 lbs lighter and will have the benefit of less weight to deal with as you tackle these heart issues.  That will make such a difference.

Keep on pushing.  We are here for you.

Hey Courtney. Thanks so much for writing. I am definitely looking at options and following up with my dr. Things surely didn't go my way or the way that I was expecting them. But... with that being said. I have to take things are they are and either let them win or me deal with them. This time, I am opting for door #2. I am going to do what ever WE (the dr & I) come up with.

Thanks for all the prayers and well wishes. They do mean alot and I will take all I can get!!!