Feeling frustrated and hating myself for asking why?? (warning: long & whiny)

I don't think I could have summed it up any better than your first line! LOL! I, deep down, do know that the surgery was the right thing. I know my quality of life and even my life expectancy would not be what it is today if I had not had it but... As stated before, if things didn't drastically improve with the weight loss, I definitely didn't think it would have gotten worse.

I do have an appointment with the cardiologist for September 9th. We are going to discuss the results of my tests, his prognosis and exactly what WE can do to get things, if not exactly where they need to be, at least closer to where they need to be. I just patiently wait for the moment when I can see that things are good!

Thanks so much for being there and for your support. It truly does mean the world to me!

Teresa,

I have to agree completely with Shannon, Lauren and Kat.  I am sorry that you are going thru all of this.  It is a rough road/journey but He only gives us what we can handle.  Where would you be without the 107 pound weight loss?  Why did you come off of your CHF meds post op?  Could the results be wrong?  Are you doing everything 100% by the book since WLS and have really made your efforts work for you 100%?  When you have extra health problems that are not the "norm" for WLS patients it is up to you to decide what path you will take.  Eating regularly, whether hungry or not, exercising daily (even if just a little bit, no matter how "bad" you feel) and getting in all of your protein, water and vitamins/meds is a must.  I will keep praying for you and look forward to an update. 

Tam, thanks for writing. I came off my meds in the hospital right after surgery. I already had a follow up with my cardiologist for like a week after my discharge. When I went to see him, he agreed keep me off and see how things would go. I think he honestly thought that with the amount of weight that I was to lose, that I wouldn't need to be on them.

Am i doing everyone 100%? To think that I or ANYONE else for that matter would or even could answer yes to this question is absolutely ridiculous. Yes, we, all well most do and should try to do our absolute best to follow the post op WLS rules but... We all know that no one is perfect. If that were the case, then there wouldn't be any WLS patients drinking coffee, diet sodas or enjoying sweet desserts when we all know that they are no-no's. I do my absolute best to make what I have gone through work to the best of it's ability. True, some days are better than others but I am trying to make the most of each day, even the bad ones. All I can say is that I am definitely trying. I think that that should be a little evident by the 107 lb weight loss in 4 months. But certainly wasn't thinking or expecting things to get a tad bit worse.

Thank you for your prayers. No one can have to many of them and I will definitely keep you posted on the dr's appointment!

"If that were the case, then there wouldn't be any WLS patients drinking coffee, diet sodas or enjoying sweet desserts when we all know that they are no-no's."

I know what your intention was here - to point out common things that WLS patients struggle with...  But just want it to be said that I resumed my drinking coffee at six months post op with my nutritionists blessing.  I don't need to get into the research she quoted to me (as to avoid the BS controversy) but feel I'm justified in following my surgeon and nutritionists plan by abstaining from coffee as long as I did, and now I am able to enjoy it again.  I no longer consider coffee as  "no-no", but advise other patients to talk to their own surgeons offices to get the ultimate call on this one for their plan.

L

That was exactly my point. Each office is different as well as each surgeon within an office. I would NEVER point out that you're not doing things 100% percent correctly because you are "allowed" to do something that some other WLS patient may not be allowed to do. For her to ask me if I was following the rules 100% was not only insulting but also plain out ridiculous because NO WLS PATIENT DOES! And the other statement about whether I was using this to the best of my ability was also insinuating that I was not, merely because I feel as though things could have been better with my results of my heart procedure because I have had the weight loss I have had!

Please know that I was in no way assuming that you were not doing things the "right" way. I am sorry if you took it that way.

Theresa,

It is not impossible to follow the rules 100%.  I did completely for the first year and a half and am proud of the 260 pounds I have lost.  I could not have done it without following therulesto a "T".

Guess we will have to agree to disagree on this one unless it would be ok for me to declare you the first "perfect" WLS patient that I know. But please tell me exactly why it is that it is working for me since I KNOW that I am not perfect and have faultered occassionally? Have you not seen or read that I am down 110 lbs in 4 1/2 months? And are you insinuating that because I am not perfect, like yourself, that I am not going to succeed?

I am not making light of your weight loss. It is phenomenal. I only hope that I can do as well as all of ya'll long termers but.... to claim it is possible to be PERFECT in this WLS journey is not being realistic.

Nope,Theresa, I am definately NOT perfect by any means but I do know for a fact YOU have been far less than compliant.  I have read your posts, blogs and "surveys" that you have done stating what you are and are not doing.  I did not drink or eat the wrong things, fought to get my water and protein in daily and took my vitamins regilously.  I am not interested  in fighting with you but what I want is for your correct story to be out there.  You had these health problems long before WLS.  People that are newand reading this do not know that.  Life is up to you...if you are given lemons then make lemonade.  I do wish you the best.

My surveys actually don't really post anything containing to my compliance or non/compliance, more lately they have been mocking or making fun of me & Dan's little tirade! Nothing about my "story" is INCORRECT and for you to try to assume that you know more correctly what is going on with me is more ridiculous than claiming to be 100% compliant. I, personally, never claimed to be.

I have faultered. Some days I do not eat as much as I should. Food is still a fear for me @ 4 mths out. Some days, it is a bit harder to get in the 100 ounces of water that is requested of me and yes, sometimes, I do take my vitamins later than normal. I am even reaching out to find a network of support people in the area so that I will have more people to relate too. I wish to God that I had your ability to be perfect and TOTALLY 100% COMPLIANT even though it has been quoted that you eat and drink WHAT EVER you see fit.... but alas... I do not. I do the very best I can, with each new day, with what I am given. If I have a hard day, or a less than perfect day, I try to make sure the next is at least a tad bit better.

I am very well aware of when I became sick with each health problem and I know just how long I have been sick. I have NEVER claimed that my illnesses were a result of anything to do with WLS so I am a bit confused why you would think that you need to get the "correct" story out there. When you are aware of the "correct" story regarding my illnesses, please enlighten me so that I will know. No fighting here Tammy. We have differences of opinions and you're right, most of the time, life is what you make of it. And 110 lb weight loss and off all but 1 med and having my diabetes COMPLETELY under control is probably a good indication that I am making it as best for me as I can. I appreciate your well wishes, they do come in handy.

Theresa,

In speaking of your surveys that YOU chose to complete and post it is you that say you are drinking beers (hmm...have carbonitation last time I checked) and that you are  afraid to eat.  You are the  one who has chosen to allow negative persons into your life that want to sabotage you and your success.  All I can state is what I know from what you have stated to me personally, thru e mails, blogs, posts,etc.  I take what you say as the truth and if you state you are drinking and such then I believe that you are.   If you chose to post it then anyone is free to see it!

As for me...food was never a fear for me.  Food was not something I wanted at all at 4 months out and still do not want a lot of the time now.  I FORCE myself to get the good nutrients in.  I  have NEVER stated that I am 100% compliant now.  What I have stated is that for the first year and a half I WAS 100% compliant.  I do eat and drink whatever I want now.  I have lost all I wanted to/needed to and have maintained  within 5 pounds for almost two years now.  When you get to where I am now maybe you can see that those of us long term postops are just trying to HELP you. 

I am not sure what you want from me or this board but what I do know is that this board is a source of wisdom, friendships, and people like myself who do not sugar coat things and are straight to the point.  You will not get babied by me. 

I have had the pleasure of seeing two people in my family have WLS before me.  One of them had a revision before my surgery and the other hada revision after my surgery.  I do know a lot more than most people.  One of them had surgery over 25 years ago...when it was still brand new.  I do my research well and I know my limits.

You are a success in some ways.  In most ways, in fact.   Stating that food is a fear is a large obstacle in your path to success.  It should never be a fear.  You should be taking this time to learn how to eat correctly and learn that you must eat several times each day, even if you don't want to.

I will be happy to share my success tips with you if you are interested and if you check with a lot of the long term post ops I am sure that they will let you know that they, too, were extremely compliant during the first year or so post op.  What you are doing is definately NOT the norm. 

I will continue to keep you and especially Cameron in my prayers.