DO YOU EVER GET TIRED OF EXPLAINING YOURSELF?

I am so tired of explaining myself  to people at work.  It seems like every since I stated telling people about my plans to have surgery I'm getting all kinds of comments that i dont care to hear.  Yesterday one person told me that i dont look that big t her and she wouldn't have this surgery if she was me.  Well! Well! Well!  I wouldnt have the surgery if i was her.  How about she's about 5'6 and about 140 lbs soak and wet!  That just made me so angry....People who dont have a weight problem can not begin to understand the hell of being overweight.....

Amen, little sister!!  And guess what?  It only gets worse!  After you have your surgery, you will be told that you took the easy way out.  And heads up...the food Nazis are lurking.  Then there's the ever popular ones that wouldn't give you the time of day when you were obese, but wanna be your best friend once you're skinny.

Do these folks churn up a miriad of emotions?  Sure.  Should you ream them a new butt hole?  Maybe, but why?  Sweetie, you're gonna need all that energy to heal after your surgery & you need you head to be screwed on straight to get through the emotional part.  So please don't buy in to the bs & waste your time on narrow-minded bigots.  If they are REALLY your friends, they will do the research in order to understand what you're about to go through & then they will have respect for you & your ability to make choices that are in your best interests.   Believe me, hon...I've had to take a long, hard look at some folks that have been dead weight for years & finally decided they needed to go.  So you do what YOU know to be right for you...to thine own self be true.  You are your own best friend.

Good am,

You're going to hear lots of interesting things along this journey. You've got to choose what's important to you fighting battles with unarmed opponents or fighting battles to better your life?? I think you know the answer. There are so many folks out there that just aren't versed in WLS and I've learned that many make comments about things they either don't understand or just have to get in a word. Use that anger to your advantage. Turn it into determination and use it for positive things. Like arming yourself and those you want knowing with the best knowledge you can, working on making changes to embrace the WLS lifestyle and focusing on what's important to you. There are ALWAYS going to be those folks who just cannot let others be and they'll do and say things you won't begin to really understand it until you realize that this isn't about them its about you and your choices and your changes you are making in your life. Keep positive as much as possible. I know we all have a days when we give into the neggies (negatives) but remember we're here for you and we have been where you are and know how you feel.

All best!

I was selective about who I told before the surgery. I did have a few family members that stated a lot of negatives before the surgery. Now, I think they understand a little better.  I think they were actually concerned for me.

I started a new job a couple weeks ago. I am finding it hard to explain why I eat and drink like I do. I have told them all about the surgery and they seem amazed. And just say things like "I could not do that, etc". I think there will always be some people who just don't get it.

Best wishes, Penny

My maid of honor disapeared totally on me and to this day I have NOT heard one word from her. And I know it was this very reason she was not comfortable w/ her weight and jealous of me going out and taking care of myself and my health and she would not go  help herself. This is your choice and as already said the rest arent your friends if they dont research and know this IS NOT THE EASY WAY OUT. I along with others struggle everyday with our choices and we get through it so Congrats on your choice and making that step towards making your life healthier. Best of luck we are here for you!...... 

Ronda,

I second, third  and fourth what the others have said.  I tell whoever wants to know what I had done and if they have a problem with it then they better get ready because I am armed with all the information that they could ever want and even more than what most people want.  I will let them know how it really is and dare them to keep going because I could go all day and night.  I am not ashamed or embarressed about what I had done and I prefer to educate people so that others may not have to go thru what I did.  It will get easier.  Just hang in there and give it time!

You might as well start getting ahold of some of that confidence now girly!!! You dont have to get tired of explaining yourself to poeple because YOU DONT HAVE TO EXPLAIN YOURSELF TO PEOPLE...PERIOD!

The next tie a skinny lil no it all gives you advice or her opinions or even an obese person...tell em exactly what you told us! I dont really care what you would do if you were me because you arent me...PERIOD!

And I love to inform people that them asking me WHY doesnt give them the permission nor go ahead to give me their opinions..because I DIDNT ASK THEM WHY...THEY ASKED ME! Dont ask questions you dont want the answer too...that's why I didnt ask them. Because they arent the ones that are unhappy with themselves and have chose to do something about it. Either their weight isnt a problem or they have a weight problem and are jealous because you are solving your's! PERIOD :)

Tell em girl!
Brandi~

Rhonda  - before I had surgery,  I too, was a naysayer! Looking back I was an uneducated consumer! Once I decided to have surgery and educated myself I realised how ignorant I was. Also I was afraid of the surgery and that was why I poo poo'd everyone who mentioned it....

So many of the people who make comments on it will not really understand what you are about to do but that will not stop them giving you their opinion......  and unless they have walked in your shoes they will never understand! So you may be wasting your time explaining it. Probably better off telling them that they really do need to read up about it the way you have and that you have some health issues that YOU need to take care of and this is the best way for YOU to do that. They may not agree with it but they do not live as you live....... I only told a couple of people at work as I did not want to go through what you are going through.... for the reasons you now mention.......

You are so right  people who do not have a weight issue can never understand this like we know and feel it..... so you will never be able to convince then - and why should you - it is nothing to do with them! But they will feel that they are looking out for you.......... and so they also thinks they have an opinion you may value and that it is their duty to warn you.......

You will need to learn to be a bit more thick skinned.......... and don't let them get you down!

Good luck!

Jackie

Some people just don't get it.  Just let it roll off your shoulders & keep it to yourself if need be.  You made this decision for you so what others think doesn't matter.