Friday Funnies: Thoughts
Birds of a feather flock together . . . . and then crap on your car.
When I'm feeling down, I like to whistle. It makes the neighbor's dog run to the end of his chain and gag himself.
A penny saved is a government oversight.
The real art of conversation is not only to say the right thing at the right time, but also to leave unsaid the wrong thing at the tempting moment. (one of my absolute FAVORITE quotes)
The older you get, the tougher it is to lose weight, because by then your body and your fat have gotten to be really good friends.
The easiest way to find something lost around the house is to buy a replacement .
He who hesitates is probably right.
If you think there is good in everybody, you haven't met everybody.
If you can smile when things go wrong, you have someone in mind to blame.
The sole purpose of a child's middle name is so he can tell when he's really in trouble.
Did you ever notice: When you put the 2 words 'The' and 'IRS' together it spells 'Theirs.'
Aging: Eventually you will reach a point when you stop lying about your age and start bragging about it.
The older we get, the fewer things seem worth waiting in line for.
Some people try to turn back their odometers. Not me, I want people to know 'why' I look this way. I've traveled a long way and some of the roads weren't paved.
When you are dissatisfied and would like to go back to your youth, think of Algebra.
You know you are getting old when everything either dries up or leaks.
One of the many things no one tells you about aging is that it is such a nice change from being young. Ah, being young is beautiful, but being old is comfortable.
First you forget names, then you forget faces. Then you forget to pull up your zipper. It's worse when you forget to pull it down.
Long ago when men cursed and beat the ground with sticks, it was called witchcraft. Today, it's called golf.
When I'm feeling down, I like to whistle. It makes the neighbor's dog run to the end of his chain and gag himself.
A penny saved is a government oversight.
The real art of conversation is not only to say the right thing at the right time, but also to leave unsaid the wrong thing at the tempting moment. (one of my absolute FAVORITE quotes)
The older you get, the tougher it is to lose weight, because by then your body and your fat have gotten to be really good friends.
The easiest way to find something lost around the house is to buy a replacement .
He who hesitates is probably right.
If you think there is good in everybody, you haven't met everybody.
If you can smile when things go wrong, you have someone in mind to blame.
The sole purpose of a child's middle name is so he can tell when he's really in trouble.
Did you ever notice: When you put the 2 words 'The' and 'IRS' together it spells 'Theirs.'
Aging: Eventually you will reach a point when you stop lying about your age and start bragging about it.
The older we get, the fewer things seem worth waiting in line for.
Some people try to turn back their odometers. Not me, I want people to know 'why' I look this way. I've traveled a long way and some of the roads weren't paved.
When you are dissatisfied and would like to go back to your youth, think of Algebra.
You know you are getting old when everything either dries up or leaks.
One of the many things no one tells you about aging is that it is such a nice change from being young. Ah, being young is beautiful, but being old is comfortable.
First you forget names, then you forget faces. Then you forget to pull up your zipper. It's worse when you forget to pull it down.
Long ago when men cursed and beat the ground with sticks, it was called witchcraft. Today, it's called golf.
Kitty Kat - Lap RNY 29th Jan 03 
Blessed Momma to ♥ Kayla & Nora ♥
Sober since 25th Aug 07 www.the-butterfly-chronicles.blogspot.com
Thankful for the easy, grateful for the hard & hopeful for tomorrow.
Thanks for the laugh!
Love you,
Love you,
Tammy C
down 260+ pounds and loving life more than ever!!!
proud mom to Kara 12-08-1994 and our newest addition Claire Makenna born 03-26-09 weighing 6 lbs 13 ounces and 19.25 inches long and very healthy. happily dating...i honestly never knew it could be this good! there is that special Guy for everyone out there...either you already have him or you will find him when He is ready for it!
open RNY 04-25-2005
Life could not get any better than this!
OMG I am in love with almost every one of these. I even spent tons of time texting them to a few who loved them too!!! Thanks for the laughs!!!
Theresa Marie
Lap RNY - April 30, 2008
Open heart surgery (mitral valve repair & MAZE) - April 13, 2009
356/297.5/152.5/170/150 - consult/surgery morn/now/dr goal/my goal
Skinnyville is NO longer miles away... It's a mere walk to the corner!!
Facebook me @ Theresa Marie Lehman
Lap RNY - April 30, 2008
Open heart surgery (mitral valve repair & MAZE) - April 13, 2009
356/297.5/152.5/170/150 - consult/surgery morn/now/dr goal/my goal
Skinnyville is NO longer miles away... It's a mere walk to the corner!!
Facebook me @ Theresa Marie Lehman
Most Active
Recent Topics
