GOOD SATURDAY AM FOLKS

Good am,

Just stopping in this am (I don't usually post on the weekends) to say I hope ya'll are having a wonderful weekend so far. Its just absolutely gorgeous out here in nature. The buggas & I have been out here for several hours now having gotten the grass cut (my dad & I) and gotten some great toys set up out here to play around with. Lots of chores will be getting done and relaxing as well.

I'm drawn to add to this post that there are some folks who for their reasons have been MIA lately and I've reached out and will continue to reach out to them and others to remind them they are not alone. I know we all deal with our personal type things in our own ways but there also comes a time when we just cannot go things alone. (YES even *I* suck at reaching out more than I admit) I've been reflecting on a lot this past week and just wanted to say "thanks" to all those who've been such an amazing connection to and for me.

Just wanted to say hold your loved ones close, "say what you need to say" and remember that we're only given the here and now and not promised anything more. Watching the buggas out here playing in the gazebo and being goofy I am reminded of how precious and important the little things are. Smiles, hugs, kisses, surprises, gifts, toys, nature, sunshine, breezes, handwritten notes, letters, cards; little pick me ups.

There's someone you've been meaning to reach out to even if its something simple. Now would be a good time to do that dontcha think? You could be the person that gives another the strength to break out of their loomie gloomies and remind them they are alive. Something else I've learned is when people say "I don't have time." Trust me you do ...so MAKE the time NOW before you don't get the chance to.

Ok, I feel better now.

Well said KK, we lost a 15 year old boy from my daugther's swim team 10 days ago, I'm holding my family pretty darn close these days.  Have a great weekend, we are off to JC penneys (bedding set for my daughter), then Kohl's then Trader joes!  Already went to the gym with hubby, hope you all have a great weekend.  lys

Thanks Lys. Just been one of those weeks where the memories have been flooding in my heart and brain and just am reminded of so much.

Enjoy shoppig for your daughter. Haven't been to Kohl's in a long while. Never been to Trader Joe's but have heard a lot about it.

Hugs........

Good Morning Beautiful!! 

It is a gorgeous day outside.  We are going to be heading out here in a few to head up and see my husband's Aunt.  She makes Ethnic Liberian clothes and I am going to see what designs she has for the children and my husband for our wedding in Jan.  I will even see what dresses she has for me.  This is her website. http://www.falika.com/ She is excited to see us and the children.  And Ann, she my be able to give me some traditional ideas as well.

Kat, you hit the nail on the head in your post and what I have been dealing with this week.  So here I go,I am going to plaster my vaulnability on here.  We (my family and my sisters family) are going to the beach next weekend.  We are excited.  My mom was suppose to go and she backed out this week. I contacted my sister to see if she wants to see our dad.  She said yes.

I have not seen my dad since my oldest was a newborn.  We don't have a realtionship and honestly we never did.  I have spoken to him a couple of times over the years and have graduation annoucments to him.  I have been dealing with my feelings for him for about 15 years.  And for the past three years I have toying with the idea to see him.  I have come to a point in my life that I am ready to make my moves. 

On top of that, I have been in contact with my grandmother (dad's mom) for almost a year.  She contacted my grandma (mom's mom) this time last year to get my address to send me a birthday card.  My grandma did not want to overstep her boundries and gave me the message to make the move I want to make.  It took me a couple months but I did contact her,  She has mentioned about coming up here to visit my dad and how she wants to see us.  Come to find out she will be in town the same time. 

Thinking my mom would be happy that I am making the contacts with the other part of my family I told her about the turn of events since she decided to bow out.  She got mean and vindictive about me seeing my farther.  She made it seem like we are betraying her.  I think what really made me upset, with this even and another event right before, she is treating me like a juvinille.  And I am very offended that she doesn't know me and know that the decisions I make are very calculated and I am not equipted to make the right decision for myself anf my family.

But in the end like I told her, I am sorry she feels this way and I hope she can come to peace with it.  But this decison has nothing to do with her, it is my choice and something I need to do for me. I would never put my children in danger (like bringing them around my father's dad) and I would not expose them to anything that may harm them.  I need to do this for me, so I can know, when I die, I did what I needed to do. 

Hey Melissa,

Have a nice/safe trip to your hubby's aunt's home. :) A road trip sounds nice today.

I have to say your situation is REALLY striking a cord with me. In recent months to the last year I have really been working on some relationships that have been strained for several years now and I have needed to try & put closure to them once and for all. I realize that there is just no reason to hold onto things like I have been when what's important is to move on and either do it TOGETHER or make that attempt and if it cannot be then to say ok I cannot do this anymore, no I WONT do this anymore, I've tried, here God take this and I am moving on.

Your situation with your parents is hard. I will say in my life there are people who just cannot look past their anger and hurt and realize there are more people involved than just them. Its sad and unfortunate because they are choosing to harbor ill will, pent up feelings and frustrations and its eating them alive. Good for you in saying what you have. You're an adult woman with a mind of your own and decisions you are making are because you are ready to seek solace in your life.

Agreed 100% with you about hoping to leave this world having said and done the things YOU'VE wanted to. I'm showing my buggas more and more everyday that everyone makes mistakes but they admit to them, make changes and choices for the better and they learn valuable lessons from them in hopes of not making the same ones. Its been incredibly tough getting sober and being a single mom all at the same time. I cannot express my thanks enough to many, many folks for their support and encouragement. I won't get into the details but the changes in my buggas and myself have been absolutely life altering for the BETTER. 

I keep learning more and more each day that all the things I didn't think I could do on my own I've been doing all this time and now I just do them and don't allow others to try and tear me down. Its the old addage my grand folks passed along. When folks aren't happy in their heart then they don't want others to be either. Weed your garden and keep only the flowers. Grow those flowers by way of love and attention and they'll bloom better than ever.

I may not have done all the right things and said all the right things in the past but I can tell you this I won't give up and I keep forging ahead trying to embrace each new day with heart and soul. I've got not only 2 of the most amazing blessings on the planet along with many more flowers in the form of friends and family. What a journey and its not over yet.

I wish you the best and your family when the visit happens. Try not to let things with you Mom bother you. After all, she's your momma and just like you're a momma and me and others we tend to be "protective" of our babies. Sometimes the way we present our love, worries, concern etc is not exactly nicely. :) I'm not defending your mom or taking sides but hope you see what I mean.

Hugs........

Hi Friends,
  The littlest things do make a difference. The gentleman from the group home who just passed on, enjoyed the simplest things. Balloons, looking handsome in his shirt and tie, eating, and just being with his friends. What more can one ask for.
   Soon, I will be going to visit my family who live in New York. Although I miss them very much, there is much distance between us in miles and relationships. When I visit, there is so much to catch up on until me next visit. So many times, I would like to move back. Not sure what holds me back.
  As for MIA's. Was wondering how Sara is. Have been missing her posts. Hope that all is well with her.
Peace, Cindy

Melissa,

I am glad that you reached out to us!  I wanted to congratulate you on making such an important decision for YOU and also to wish you well on your visit/chance to possibly reconnect.  You deserve this if it is what you want.

On the other hand, try not to be so hard on your mom.  But be firm about what YOU want to do.  Some things may have happened a long time ago that you are unaware of.  I am speaking from some personal experience here.  My daughter's bio dad is not in the picture and has not seen her or paid his child support in over 11 years now (she is 13 and 1/2) and my husband now is her "dad".  If there ever comes a  day when she wants to see him again I pray I am strong enough to guide her and help her without hurting her.  There are a lot of things I will never tell her about him...she doesn't need to know how he used to beat me and tried to make me misscarry when I was pregnant with her or how bad into drugs he got (and still is to this day).  I do not want to hurt her by telling her all of the negative.  Honestly, I pray the day NEVER comes that she wants to see him again but in the even that she decides she does then I pray I will be strong ernough to support her and help her in any way I can.  I will be thinking about you and I hope you have a wonderful vacation.

Tammy