Women's Meditation Week #4

The following is an excerpt from the book "Meditations for Women Who Do Too much" by Anne Wilson Schaef.  I thought it might be nice to share one on a weekly basis for discussion or your own private journaling purposes.  Enjoy!

Week #3 - FEAR/CONTROL

Fear has a smell, as love does.  Margaret Atwood.

The tightening of the stomach, the sweaty palms, the increasing inability to focus, the tingling in our arms and hands, and the anxiety about looking good or having the right answer - we all know about fear.

Unfortunately, the life of the woman who does too much is controlled by fear.  What if we're not good enough?  What if we're not on time?  What if nobody likes us?  By the time we have worked ourselves up into a lather, we are incapable of producing anything good.  Fear and our illusion of control are intimately related.  It is when we believe that we can control the outcome and the responses of others that we get fearful.  Our worrying is a form of pre-control.

As I acknowledge my fear and trun it over to a power beyond myself, I can get the job done and done well.

Hmmm, interesting topic.  I'd like to think that I'm not a woman controlled by fear, but I'll break it down and see how I REALLY fare.  I sat here thinking about about any recent events where I had fear and could only think of one.  I don't really want to get into the nitty gritty of it, but in short, yes, I do have a fears and the thought of how someone's actions other than my own would affect the outcome of something.  I do tend to stress over the "what-if's".

A great example of that that I can share is I can work myself into a frenzy over a pending visit with the in-laws.  I mean really get myself worked up.  I sit there and think about what they are going to say, what could possibly happen, what will my reaction be, I'd like to say *THIS*, etc. etc.  Before you know it, I haven't even gotten there and I've already gotten myself in full panic attack mode.

There is much truth in that you CANNOT control others, and the only thing you can adjust is your reaction to a situation or the irrational fear you set in motion to begin with.  It's a tough thing to do.  We are all fearful of something.  It can be not being a good parent, not having a successful career, not getting all the things down that we want to get done, anything really!  The trick is to stay positive and keep your head above these fearful thoughts and trudge through.  Every day is a challenge and we can get through it.  Have faith in yourself and keep those worrying thoughts at bay.  :)