OT child support

Well I finally bit the bullet and filed for support.  I had tried to hold off, but I guess after 16 months things won't change.  I felt kind of bad with the fact that he's set to have a baby anyday (with the girl he cheated on me with) but then figured he'll just keep doing all of this and never stopping.  It feels good to know that I'll get some help, I just wondered if anyone else had experience with child support and what happens?  Or any advice while going through all of this?

I do not have first hand experience. I have heard that if you go through the child support inforcement through the state that it is better. I think they keep track of how much he is behind and they also keep track of the interest too. Good luck. Just because it is court ordered does not mean he will pay it. 

SherylLynn 

My ex was ordered to pay support when my son was 4 1/2. At first, the state was taking it out of his check but he kept changing jobs, and they couldn't keep up. Guess that may indicate that they ARE actually overworked, that and the fact when you call them, you are on hold for 45 minutes only to be told that they are too busy and you will have to call back. Well anyways... He has been electronically transfering his support payment to Child Support Enforcement and they send to me. Great thing about Va Child Support Enforcement now is that they don't do paper checks. They issue an EPPI card, which is a Mastercard and each month, when your support is received, they apply it to the card. It is just like a normal Mastercard.

Only advice...... HAVE PATIENCE & don't let him get off without helping to support a child that BOTH of you created. Good luck!

thanks theresa!! I was really lucky with the fact that I had just about every little detail they could possibly want about him.  Guess it paid off to hold onto everything from a 7 year relaltionship!  I went to DCSE, I was trying to be nice, but he quit paying me, so I figured i'd let someone else deal with it. I noticed that there never seems to be enough people working in there when i've been in, luckily i didnt need help filling out the forms! I'm just happy to know that I will get money and he will be held accountable and that they do have means of "punishment" for non-payment.

Yeah it's going to take luck and patience dealing with the DCSE. My ex was/is an employee of the state, a deputy with a local county and they still claimed to not be able to find him, back then, to take the payments out of his check. It really makes one wonder about that department though. Good luck!

whats even funnier about all of this is i'm wrapping up my degree in social services....so I will soon be one of their underpaid cronies too. Maybe with another person I can make a difference!!

I have TONS of experience with DCSE.  My daughter is 13 1/2 and her sperm donor owes well over $150,000 in back support payments.  He is in another state so it is more difficult to get payments but the good news is that he is in jail currently for the second time for his back support payments.  Now if the state of Michigan would just not believe his BS lies and keep him there then maybe his girlfriend or mother would bail him out like they usually do.  I know it is horrible to want them to pay his bills, but my daughter needs it from somewhere!  He also claims his girlfirennds daughter is "his child" and he supports her...kinds ticks me off!  They will probably do like last time and keep him in for 45 days (it was 30 days last time) and then let him out with a "promise to pay" notice like before and then of course he doesn't pay and it is two and a half years later before he goes to jail again!  Yeah, I guess I am slightly bitter about it all because no matter what I have to take care of my child (happily...I would not give her up for anything) but it gets kinda depressing to know that when I need help (like for groceries when the price of gas is outrageous!) and I make too much for any kind of assistance (like food stamps) but then FOC (Michigan's DCSE) informs me that HE is getting food stamps.  Here my hubby and I bust our a#& to make ends meet and pay for doctor bills, copays, medications etc. for both ourselves, Kara and my dad and he is getting supported by my tax dollars, too???  It is hard to grasp sometimes.  I do not want the state/government to support me or my family...I just want the option to know that if I really do need the help then it can come from somewhere.  I also have a lot of experience with the Virginia DCSE since that is where my case started and also my hubby pays his child support weekly there as well.  He is current on his two children...and always will be!  If I can help in any way, PM me or call...804-690-3963.  Congratulations on filing...and DON'T FEEL GUILTY!!!  He needs to pay support for his child(ren) and a new baby does not change that.  Good luck!

 

Tammy 

tammy thanks!!! I just feel better knowing that there are others out there going through the same thing! Not that it's a good thing to go through.....Exactly!! Our daughter is 16 months old, he hasnt seen her since October and that was for 20 minutes!! He's given me some money, but it's no way near enough to help, and now he uses the new baby as an excuse, so I thats what really pushed me over the edge! I'll definetly keep in mind to call or PM you if I need you! I'll be in Richmond later this summer, maybe we can all get together!

Hey Jennifer......

DCSE has been the bain of my existance over the past 10 years......but has also been a blessing....no way I would have recieved the money owed to me if I was out there on my own.  The moment someone goes 6 months or $5000 over their limit VA has them in court (Tammy, since yours is out of state, I have no clue) My ex has had his license taken......been jailed, the whole nine yards.......I can let you know more details if you wish to PM me.......

The reason for this post, however, is visitation.  In VA, those are two different things.  The courts look at support and visitation as wo different entities......you need to press for support, and not based on time spent with your daughter....support is needed.....visitation is not.......if that makes sense.....

Like I said if you want more info on my case, and what I have learnd over the years, feel free to PM me......

Good luck, you will need it!

Cappy..

Would love to get together when you are here.  Let me know in advance if you want and we can try and set up a Richmond meet and greet at the same time so you can meet bunchez of us!  I couldn't believe it but I got a letter in the mail on Saturday that said he was in jail for 90 days (don't know when he went in but it's been at least 3 weeks and tey reduced the bond to $400.00 cash!  I about died.  Still,. no one has paid it and I won't get any money when he gets out, but why can't they make him do work release or something to help me out???  I am so frustrated I don't know what to do.