So, I might be stating the obvious but ...

Kat- You know I'm here for you.....just tell me what I can do to help. You have a lot on your plate and you know I understand some of it..... I hope this Psalm helps you as much as it did me during some of my darkest moments over the past 14 months...(not being preachy.....just was on my heart to share with YOU). Love you much....

Psalm 62

 

 1 My soul finds rest in God alone;        my salvation comes from him.

 

 2 He alone is my rock and my salvation;        he is my fortress, I will never be shaken.

 

 3 How long will you assault a man?        Would all of you throw him down—        this leaning wall, this tottering fence?

 

 4 They fully intend to topple him        from his lofty place;        they take delight in lies.        With their mouths they bless,        but in their hearts they curse.

 

 5 Find rest, O my soul, in God alone;        my hope comes from him.

 

 6 He alone is my rock and my salvation;        he is my fortress, I will not be shaken.

 

 7 My salvation and my honor depend on God;        he is my mighty rock, my refuge.

 

 8 Trust in him at all times, O people;        pour out your hearts to him,        for God is our refuge.

 

 9 Lowborn men are but a breath,        the highborn are but a lie;        if weighed on a balance, they are nothing;        together they are only a breath.

 

 10 Do not trust in extortion        or take pride in stolen goods;        though your riches increase,        do not set your heart on them.

 

 11 One thing God has spoken,        two things have I heard:        that you, O God, are strong,

 

 12 and that you, O Lord, are loving.        Surely you will reward each person        according to what he has done.

 

Oh my little sis!  Look at you!  Asking for help from others?  I am soooo proud of you!!!  This is very brave of you to do which shows you really are changing things for the better.  Just a few months ago you would have been sitting on all this, dealing with it by yourself.  So pat yourself on the back for reaching out to us.  I thank you for trusting us.  Kat, do you remember my Mom's bucket story?  Maybe I should share it with you again to refresh your memory & perhaps it will help others here as well.  According to my Mom, we are each born into this world with our own buckets.  As time goes on & we begin to grow & experience life's ups & downs, our buckets begin to fill up with crap.  By the time we reach our teens & adulthood, & as we branch out to include others in our lives, suddenly those others decide that their buckets of crap are getting too heavy & they start looking for someone else to carry their buckets.  Before you realize it, you are suddenly carrying your own bucket of crap along with many others & the load becomes quite heavy.  For awhile, you manage ok carrying this big load, but eventually it becomes too heavy & tiresome...there comes a time when you need to lighten your load for your own sake.  Well, it looks like that time has come for you.  Hand some of those buckets back, dear one.  You are only one person.  Frankly, in my opinion, the only extra buckets you should be helping to carry belong to  your girls.  Occassionally you reach out & assist others with theirs but you're not supposed to carry the full load indefinately.  So hand those other buckets back to their owners.  Too bad if they don't want them...it's up to them to dump some of the crap they've accumulated instead of expecting you to haul it around for them.  Now, with all this being said, do not confuse your reaching out to us as your way of passing off your bucket to us.  You haven't done that at all, so please don't feel like you've burdened anyone here.  It's one thing to ask for help, even if it's just to give you a loving shoulder & an attentive ear or a much needed hug.  I'm just so doggone proud of you, Katt...I hope you feel the same way about yourself soon.  You've accomplished a lot & maybe it's not spoken of often enough, but we do recognize your accomplishments.  I think, from what I've read, that you're on the right track.  Rejoice in that, Honey.  The rest just hand over to God...he'll help you hand those buckets back to their rightful owners.  I lover you!!

Just wanted to tell you that I love you and am here for you when you need me.

Kat, even though I don't know you well, I am sending prayers your way.  I hope that you find the strength to get through this rough spot!

I know that I didn't even need to reply because you know where I stand. I am always just a phone/text/email away and you know I know what you're going through. It is another this too shall pass moment, just like my last week. Thank God I'm finally coming over the hump. These growth bumps are a real pain the butt sometimes. They do take a toll on us physically too. We just have to do our best to keep up with our supplements and liquids intake. I'm just so grateful there is another person on the planet that understands my mental issues, my alcoholic issues, and my gastric bypass issues. I'm sure there are many, but only one other person in my life truly understands. I am praying for you and the buggas, always. Sometimes we just have to take it one hour at a time. Remember pages 86-88, they are posted on my blog. LYLTNS, A

Dear one: This is something that brings me comfort in times like these. Although I don't know the depth and breadth of the issues you face, from what I do know, know that you are definitely not alone, as I share some similar issues as well. I know how hard it is to deal with those things and balance taking care of yourself so that you can be there for those who matter most in your life and for those who do appreciate the gifts you bring. You are doing the right thing by admitting your struggles and attempting to develop solutions. I am praying for you and your family, and I am very proud of your committment to sobriety and health. I wish I had more comforting words to say, but for now, I leave you with this:

-- written by Max Ehrmann in the 1920s -- Not "Found in Old St. Paul's Church"! -- see below

Go placidly amid the noise and the haste, and remember what peace there may be in silence.

As far as possible, without surrender, be on good terms with all persons. Speak your truth quietly and clearly; and listen to others, even to the dull and the ignorant; they too have their story. Avoid loud and aggressive persons; they are vexatious to the spirit.

If you compare yourself with others, you may become vain or bitter, for always there will be greater and lesser persons than yourself. Enjoy your achievements as well as your plans. Keep interested in your own career, however humble; it is a real possession in the changing fortunes of time.

Exercise caution in your business affairs, for the world is full of trickery. But let this not blind you to what virtue there is; many persons strive for high ideals, and everywhere life is full of heroism. Be yourself. Especially do not feign affection. Neither be cynical about love, for in the face of all aridity and disenchantment, it is as perennial as the grass.

Take kindly the counsel of the years, gracefully surrendering the things of youth. Nurture strength of spirit to shield you in sudden misfortune. But do not distress yourself with dark imaginings. Many fears are born of fatigue and loneliness.

Beyond a wholesome discipline, be gentle with yourself. You are a child of the universe no less than the trees and the stars; you have a right to be here. And whether or not it is clear to you, no doubt the universe is unfolding as it should.

Therefore be at peace with God, whatever you conceive Him to be. And whatever your labors and aspirations, in the noisy confusion of life, keep peace in your soul.

With all its sham, drudgery, and broken dreams, it is still a beautiful world. Be cheerful. Strive to be happy.

Oh my sweet Kat!  You know I am ALWAYS here fot you, and so is Steve.  We love you, no matter what.  I am a phone call, text message, e mail or just a quick 5 minute drive down the road.  You always know where to find me.  I am your shoulder to cry on, ear to vent into or partay girl when we go out and stay sober.  I am here no matter what.  Love you!

 

Tammy