A first for me

I continue to struggle with making the good food choices that I know I need to make. The grazing that I did at Jackie's house on Saturday continued on Sunday and Monday - but with worse quality food. It's a horrible cycle that I've put myself in, because the more I graze the worse I feel and the more unpleasant I am to be around (ask my husband). Sound familiar to any of you? Yesterday was a very hard day for me - I found myself eating a package of Reese's Peanut Butter Cups and immediately felt awful. I was mad that they didn't even taste that good to me anymore, then I got so lethargic that I ended up crashing for a couple of hours. Now some of you may remember that I work from my home office, so that is NOT cool at all. Needless to say, I felt just as crappy when I woke up as I did when I passed out. But this is where the "first" part comes in. I recently started taking jazzercise classes with a girlfriend and she wanted to go to a class last night. Normally, I use a bad food day as an excuse to do NOTHING else except eat more bad food, feel sorry for myself and generally be unpleasant and gloomy. But last night, I decided to go to the class and see if it helped. Now I won't say that I came back home and everything was sparkles and rainbows, but I did manage to get my body moving and release some of the tension that I was feeling earlier in the day.  Psychologically for me though, it was  huge step because I have always been very "all or nothing" in my behavior. The fact that I am not only doing a jazzercise class, but went to one when I was having a crap day is nothing short of amazing. Today is the beginning of a new month and it's a fresh start for me to treat myself the way I should be treated. And I think I may go to another jazzercise class again tonight! Who would have thought, huh??

Aww, Mary, I know just how you feel! I am one of those "all-or-nothing" people also, and that is such a hard mindset to change. Along with that, as I am sure you know, is the "I am not worthy to treat myself nicely" and "I have already messed up for the day so I am not worthy and do not have the right to do anything nice for myself". Those mindsets together spell disaster. Like you, I hear those voices yelling at me sometimes and I can no longer silence them with food...I have to do things for myself now to silence them. Kudos to you for realizing that you are so worth treating yourself nicely and forgiving yourself!! When you do those two things, the "all-or-nothing" falls away. I am also struggling with some mindless eating that prevents me from losing this last ten pounds, and I have to keep telling myself (literally shouting back at that voice telling me it is all or nothing) that I am worth it, I deserve to feel good about myself and if I make a poor food or lifestyle choice I owe it to myself to find out why I did it and what I am going to do to prevent it from happening again.

Good for you for shouting back at that voice telling you it is all or nothing! And you go to that class and enjoy the heck out of it! Focus on how good you will feel afterwards! Jazzercise is so much fun!

Well done Mary - for changing a habit and making it a positive one!  We all grazed a little on Saturday but one day doesn't hurt but when you change it to two ir three you are changing it to a different problem.... but by exercusing and increasing it you may even get away with what you ate! And the food on Saturday was definately yummy!  So I am proud of you for not giving up and going out there and meeting it head on! You can do this - I know you can!!!! Hey are you coming to Anne's on Saturday? Jackie

Mary - I'm glad you went to jazzercise, i think when i feel more comfortable with me, i'll start looking into classes at my gym.  Go tonight, you will feel better.  I went to see my trainer today and she had a family emergency, so i saw (gasp) a guy trainer!  i wil probably be walking funny tomorrow, i don't think i have ever sweat so much, except for in childbirth LOL!  take mary, lys

mary, you have been on my heart a lot lately. i pray for you every day that you will not beat yourself up today. i love you and want good things for you. sorry if i'm babbling. meds.....nuff said. please take care. luv and miss you.

Ah my Mary...you hula doll, you!  I am so proud of you for owning up to your boo-boos.  And you did it in a public forum...do you realize how much courage that takes?  Personally,  I find it very healing when I share with ya'll my boo-boos...kinda makes it a bit easier for me to forgive myself.  Sounds like you did exactly what you needed to do for you.  Now...STEP AWAY FROM THE REESES!!!  For the record I haven't had a single M&M for about 3 weeks now!!!  So let's rejoice together in our new-found strength!!

I'm an "all or nothing" person too.  It's so challenging sometimes.  I APPLAUDE YOU FOR TAKING THIS STEP.  Keep up the jazzercise classes!  :)

I'm so proud of you!!!! (And I want to know where you jazzercise - fun!) What a super hard thing to do. Give yourself lots of credit for being so strong!

Hey Mary! I too have experienced this. Eating things I know better than to but also coming to realize what my triggers have been and trying to alleviate them as much as possible and as quickly as possible. One of my besties and I have been talking about this very thing; having rough times & days yet finding activities to help in the change of those behaviors. Know that I'm here for you! Hugs..........

Aww Mary I am sorry that things have not been going how you want them too!  Sounds like you are making strides to change though.  I need to take a page out of your book.  I haven't been to the gym in over a month.  Every weekend I talk to myself & say I am going to start on Monday and then something happens & I don't, then I blow the whole week because I didn't do it the way I planned.  I too must work on this.  Hope you are having a better day today.