Fat kid + Fat parent = Fat Adult

At least, that is the odds on result. There are great debates as to why: nature or nuture. But the fact is that if you are overweight, the odds are that your children will be. That is ultimately why I said that I have to end this insane cycle. I had to be a better person for my kids. I think I have mentioned before that I had a very conflicted relationship with my mother. She was super morbidly obese and died at 54 weighing nearly 600 lbs. Our relationship spun more and more out of control as she became more immobile. I found that I resented her more and more as she manipulated us to enable her to be the way she was. When she died I knew I had to do something about my own weight. I was nearly 400 lbs, but I always justified it because I was an active guy who was just fat. I was financially succesful and was nothing like my mother. But I was also blind to the fact that I was robbing my children of a fully healthy father. I was lucky because my two sons were thinner (they took after their mother's side). But my marriage spun out of control and I ended up divorced, fat, and without that much left in my pocket. So I had WLS and I got my body back. I am now getting to the point where I am close to being at peace with her. Where I once really resented her for robbing me of a normal childhood and not letting my children know their grandmother, I now am sad that she lothed herself so much that she couldn't get out of bed. It pains me that she was so sad that she decided to kill herself slowly with a fork and that her body turned on her to the point where she couldn't walk to the bathroom. So I thank those of you who have inspired me to push myself and who have given me advice on my way down. I hope I inspire those lurkers who are on the fence and are trying to decide if this something they should do. I can say that it won't cure your demons, but it'll remove the most obvious one and hopefully allow you to deal with the others. My uncle sent me some pics today that I thought I'd share. This is me with my grandmother and sister. I am about 9 here and if I remember correctly I was about 150 lbs. I can remember that my mother wouldn't let me play outside when I was younger because she needed me there to help with my sister. I can remember doing the laundry and making food by then. My mother was probably 300 lbs then, which wasn't disabled but when mixed with her severe depression meant she wouldn't get out of bed for days. My father was in sales and always away so I would have to be the one to deal with it. This is one of the few pictures of my mother I can find from this era. What always confused me is that she was tiny until she had the kids. She knew what it was to be normal. I have never in my life not been the biggest guy in the room. And this is her near the end. They were on a cruise and he had to wheel her everywhere. She was prissy enough that she took off her oxygen for the picture. So this is my life now. It is nearly 1 am and I in a hotel room. In the past, I would have ordered a pizza after a day of work. Tonight I am going to to the gym. I hope I am a better person for the journey. I just wish I could have figured out that this is who I wanted to be sooner.

Thanks Blair for sharing journey with me/us. You are a great inspiration and you've done wonderfully. I too has WLS because of my upbringing and all those I've lost to obesity and health issues related to obesity that could have been prevented. I have no regrets. I hope that others truly realize what a blessing it is to have a LIFE and be able to live healthier and happier. There are ups and downs sure but we are given choices. All best!

I am speechless. (yea, I know..it doesn't happen often!)

Blair, What a strong willed and stong minded person you have become. CONGRATS to you. What an inspiration you are to us all. THANK YOU for a great post. Lanette

Blair, Thank you.  I can not agree with you more.  My children are one of my top reasons for this surgery.  I don't want them to go down the path I did.  And having two girls it is so hard to teach them what is healthy and what is not without crossing that line about body image.  But I press on.  I am looking forward to my new and improved active life with my family and i know this surgery is nothing but  benifit for us all, not just me.

Blair - you are always sharing some profound thoughts with us.  I'm so thankful for them, it helps me reflect on my "heavy" childhood and how i got to this size, etc..  You are an inspiration to us all! Lys

My knee-jerk response, after reading your post, was simply...wow.  Then an almost overwhelming sense of sadness for you that you had to endure so much at a young age only to lose your Mom in spite of all that you tried to do.  That was a huge responsibility for child...not one that should have been placed on your shoulders.  I am a huge fan, Blair.  Thanks for being so candid.

thanks blair for sharing.  i so understand having the WLS so u can be a better role model for your children. i have done the same. i want them to know its not normal to be overweight even if u r "so -called active".  i know its hard to rid yourself of  the demons of the past. i dont know if u pray, but it works for me. keep u the good work. and yes your posts are always inspirational for those of us who are lurkers. tiffany