Getting noticed...

Ok so I found some thing's interesting this week. ( People who know me personaly know this to be true but for those who dont ) I have always been an EXTREMLY confident person. I never let my weight influence my deminear...I was just as outgoing and confident fat as I was skinny... I used to get nothing but kudos for that, people would say "I wish I would be more like you and say "I dont give a damn" Im still Hot!" But I have noticed that since my surgery people are taking me being me, differently then they did when I was fat. Now if I say " I look good" people take it as being ****y...before it was almost a sign of impowerment... Im really finding it hard to be myself even with my closest of friends. Im always going to be me...I wont change who I am for anyhting...but It makes me uncomfortable. Second thing I notice was that Ive been getting more looks than usual. It's funny because I never realized that the look's had ceased but I have noticed in the last month or so, people turning their heads to look at me, longer eye contact and etc.... Boy...My life is changing. Brandi~

....and it will continue to.  The thing to remember now, as before, is to be yourself.  Those who know you and love you will continue to...those that don't probably didn't to begin with.  Not all people deal well with change....  Be happy -- you're doing so great!  :)

Just keep being yourself Brandi.  And enjoy those looks & they will definitely keep coming.  Sometimes I still have a hard time with it. p.s. love the new pic

Brandi,  First let me tell you that you are beautiful . You were beautiful way before WLS .  I too as a 350 pound woman always had self esteem . I really never thought I was obese...LOL  I had friends , boy friends and co-workers that looked up to me . So when the looks started , it made me wonder a little . What did they really see when I was Obese . But we do change . Our bodies definatly change and some people find self confidence and self esteem with weight loss .  I have always been my own biggest cheerleader. I learned to love myself ever more with this surgery. And I do tell myself that I am beautiful , And that Iook good . I do not call it being conceited , I call it reafirming how I feel inside .  Do not let anyone steal your joy . Just be Brandi , be the person that your friends know and love. They are going to look , and ask questions possibly . Just enjoy the beauty of being you  and all that comes with it .  Hugs,  Natalie

Brandi - when we make big changes in our lives some people feel threatened and treat us differently because we are no longer the big person we used to be and sometimes other girlfriends feel threatened.......... and when we act very confidently about it - they feel even more threatened.  So you can act like yourself and brag about it or you can be aware of their feelings and tone it down. It is all your choice. You don't have to apologize for having lost weight and being happy but sometimes you need to be aware that is perhaps is irritating to people around you. I am not talking about you in particular but about many of us..... people say we change - and we do -  it is still THEM that are not prepared for the changes that WE display.  And you need to get used to the looks lol!! These will keep happening to you because you are young, beautiful and sexy!! Enjoy! Jackie

Thank you so much for the compliments. I guess not everyone ( unless they were attached to your back ) can ever really understand that in ALL situations and on all days you will be complaimented and asked about your progress and praised repeatidly wherever you go. It becomes a part of all outtings and although Im used to it, others may not be. I dont give myself kudos often but I am even more confident than I was prior to surgery and I truly didnt think that was even possible! I am going to be me and hope that those who know and love me will know better than to think that Im being snobby. Im not that person, Im just a fun girl who loves herself and holds ALOT of self worth. Im enjoying my weight loss but Im not going to let it define me either. Thanks for the compliments from EVERYONE and the advice!!! Brandi~

Good am Brandi, Agree with some of the other replies ...the attention will continue. From learning lessons personally I've realized that the folks who were in my live pre-WLS are the same ones that are still there today while others that came into the picture later did so for reasons of their own which no longer fit into my life and the dynamic of my relationships. They were superficial and unfortunately I had to learn it the hard way. Never fear you'll get the hang of things and you'll how to turn those sometimes strange reactions from others into positives. We do change post-op and we find strength within ourselves we didn't know was there. Personally pre-WLS and post-op I've never been one to claim being "hot" or what have you. I personally have always loved myself but faced reality and told myself if that's the case I've got work to do then, now and moving foward. The best advice is to follow your gut. If someone's intentions, words etc seem too good to be true they most likely are. Another beautiful lesson I've enjoyed is that sometimes saying nothing at all says everything and folks find the truth for themselves and come to learn you, love you and respect you for you and not the "hype." Beautiful then, beautiful now and remain true to yourself and others will see it. All best!

Brandi, You would have so enjoyed my support group meeting topic this past week  "Relationships and Sex after WLS".  Pretty much the overall theme from the coordinator and attendees was that people are uncomfortable with YOUR change because it requires THEM to change. For me, what you said rings so true.  I notice people treat me differently, look more, compliment more, pretty much just an increase in the amount of attention I get.  I have conflicting feelings about it.  Sometimes I feel really proud and smile big, other times I think "what did they think of me before if they are so nice NOW". I hope things will even out over time with your friends and you can continue to be the confidant personality that you are.  No matter what the reason, you shouldn't need to change yourself for anyone.  If a friend of yours isn't on board or is making comments about you being too ****y, I would remind him/her that nothing has change other than THEIR reaction to the situation. My dad always tells me that life is 10% Action, and 90% Reaction.  So true.  :)

So true....I cant lie...I love the attention...but my reaction towards myself and their attention is not changed since pre WLS and it isnt going to change now either. My husband knows me inside and out and he has never been bothered by any attention I received before or now. He knows that I know that he was the one who loved and desired me even at 261...Im not giving anyone added attention for noticing me now :) Brandi~