Melt-down update...

Lauren, thanks for the PM & for asking how my doc visit went.  I saw him yesteday & we're attacking this depression thing in two ways.  One, of course, is a little help from Xanax, an antidepressant.  I took one as soon as the Rx was filled & it made a difference right away.  This, however, is a temporary fix.  He also wants me to see a therapist that he swears by & highly recommends.  So at the moment I'm still waiting to hear from her so I can make an appointment.  Some people might prefer to keep this sort of news quiet, but in looking back through this whole ordeal, I just can't bring myself to keep quiet.  The way I see it, if I were to keep this a secret, that would mean I'm ashamed.  I am NOT ashamed.  Personally I'm a firm believer that 95% of the world's population should be in therapy...the other 5% are in denial!  I come to this forum everyday with the intent to gleen any & all iformation I can to help me along this journey.  It is here that I feel safe in bearing my soul, as it were, because I know that there will be at least one person, if not more, that have either been where I am now, or gotten past it.  And finally, my hope is that maybe MY experiences with this will help someone else.  I hope that doesn't sound like I'm a martyr, because I am far from anything like that.  But more & more I am seeing a trend building here of people I know & love that are suffering from the same thing, & some are suffering silently & alone.  I'm here, with my guts hanging out for all the world to see, & I'm saying there is no shame in needing a helping hand with depression.  It does not mean you're weak, it does not mean you're a failure...there are no negative connotations to this at all.  I respect & honor those that wish to remain annonymous.  I choose to go public so that maybe one of you out there reading this will look within yourself & hopefully say "Hmm....maybe that's what's wrong with...maybe I'm depressed.  If there's help for her, then maybe there's help for me too."  There truly is strength in numbers & I'm so glad I reached out to all of you & that I trusted all of you last week.  I'm here to tell you that you did not let me down.  For that I shall be forever grateful.  So suffice to say I am doing all I can to get my head screwed back on straight.  And if my meltdown helped someone, then it was worth it.

Hi Ann! i'm so glad you got in to see the doctor. I've suffered with mental illnesses my whole life and for the most part have been silent about it. Now, I don't care and i will tell anyone about my illness so that I may help someone. I want to tell you that Xanax is NOT an antidepressant. It's an anti-anxiety med known as a benzodiazapene. Very strong, very addictive stuff. It's very good to get you through in a pinch but I would not suggest taking it regularly unless, like me, you have a severe panic disorder and being addicted to a drug is better than the alternative. You need to be on a real antidepressant. I really hope things look up for you. Feel free to talk to me anytime. I know so so well about the struggles. ((hugs))                                Jamie

Yuppers, I agree with Jamie. Xanax is geared to depression related anxiety. In my opinion, you need an antidepressant. Perhaps you can see and MD that specializes in mental health. Therapy can help but you must be totally honest with yourself and your counselor. love you much!

To put both your minds at ease, yes, I do know that it's not an antidepressant...I ooops'd & had intended to correct that but got side tracked for a few minutes.  I also know that it's addictive.  Have no fear...I'm not the addictive type.  I still have narcotic pain killers left over from my surgery last month & just threw away the stuff I had from my wls, so I'm good.  But this is still good info for those that are not in the know.  So thanks for correcting my info.

Whatever works for you my friend.  I never had any addiction to it either. The only drug I was ever addicted to was Oxycontin. That was not a pretty sight coming off of that, even though it was a very small doseage. Long story behind that one. On a side note, I have 'blooms' on my tomato plant. I planted it when you said to do so --somthing about the daffodils. (my brain is like a sieve today) Also my blueberry bush has loads of blues ripening.

Anne thank you for speaking up so that those that suffer from this can see there is no shame in it and it is good to seek help!! I come from the UK where we never went to Therapists and I watched my mother turn into a depressed nasty woman that she has never changed from because she would NEVER seek help. I think she has been unhappy since my dad died - almost 40 years ago - but would never admit it. I think she has wasted so much of her life being bitter. So ladies -  if you need help   - never be ashamed to seek it!! There is no shame in getting help and getting better! Jackie

Glad to hear you and the doctor are working on a solution!  I know others will read what you've said here and know it's okay to speak out and there is nothing to be ashamed of.  BIG HUGS!

I second what Jackie said - if you need some help, please don't be afraid or ashamed to get it. Years ago I spent several months feeling utterly without hope or joy and it was a terrible time. Getting my body's chemicals straight allowed me to get past the immediate cir****tances and address the real issues. God bless you Ann. You are a very special and a very worthwhile person. I love you. Joe

This kind of post is one of the MANY reasons why I luv ya....glad you're getting the help you need. There is no shame...we all need help one way or another at some point.  Be honest with yourself and with the therepist..it's the only way it works.

Hats off to you, Ann.  I am glad you decided to seek out help, and have gotten it.  Sharing your story with others is important, because doing so helps de-mystify the whole issue of depression and other such illnesses.  I was diagnosed with post-partum depression years ago, and though no one else understood, I knew something was wrong and finally was able to get someone to listen to me.  Thanks to an anti-depressant and talk therapy (I am a big believer in it as a result), I got my life back, and my family got me back.  We have to be our own best advocates in the medical system, and have to take care of US.  So, as I said before...hats off to you, my friend!  :)