Remembering My Mother - Lois P. Carden

Remembering My Mother - Lois P. Carden

 

Today marks one year that my sister and I held my mothers head, while she waited to meat the Lord. It is a day that I will never forget. I miss her so much. We all do.

God promises that for believeing in him , and excepting his son, that I will see my mother again.

The pain today is great . My loss is great. I feel so alone at times without her. But I know in my heart I will see her again. It is just those times that I go back to. Times like today , when I and my sister, held her in our arms when she took her last breath.

I had the honor of dressing and preparing my mothers body for her last viewing. I remember walking into that room, and there she was . No Make up , her hair not done thinking . Holy crap, she would kill me if she seen this . So with all the loving care I had , I began curling her hair. Just like she did it . I applied her make up, touching her lips with the very lipstick I now wear. I made sure that she looked beautiful. And she did. As I looked at her that day. I was alone in all of my thoughts of where she and I had been in this life. Having no regrets, and remembering how she would make me feel so safe as a child. How she cooked for us , and would wait until we were all done until she would eat. Making sure that we all had enough to eat before she ate. I remembered her sweet face, just days before the accident and how we laughed together - joking on the cornbread she and I had made that day . I remember the hug she gave me the morning of her accident. She looked up at me with those big brown eyes and told me " Now you know I love you " And I said yes Mom , I love you . See ya later. That was the last time that I felt my Moms arms around me .

I still feel  her arms around me today. For she is with God , but her spirit lives on in me .

People tell me all the time , It gets easier . I can conceed that it does not get easier. They were not there to witness this . The long days and nights of wishing and hoping . The wiping of her face and tears, but not being able to communicate with her . I don't think  I will ever get over this .

My sister and I had the great pleasure of sleeping with her that night in the hospital. We lay in our beds at the foot of hers. Hearing all the sounds of the nurses talking and taking care of her . Dreading the moments to come.

We assembled all of us in her room and watched as they removed her from life support. We held her and kept her safe in our arms until God reached down and took her home. Every breath I had in my body left me during that time. I felt her little body go from heavy to light- and at that moment  , I knew she was with God and seeing things that we can only imagine as humans. She now prepares a place for us for our homecoming . And I know she waits along side of God. This is the only comfort I get from this day. The rest is my own pain and my own longing to have her here .

If you did not ever get the chance to meet my Mom . She was such a beautiful woman. A truly high spirit . My blessing from her is now I can look in the mirror and see her . As now I favor her so much. I can only hope to be as strong as she was .

So today is a sad day for me , one that I will do alone . I just hope that no one ever has to go through this . But I am sure you will . And if you do , hold them close and tell them how much you love them . For all of your loved ones, make sure that each day they know you love them , do not let them leave this earth not knowing . My Mom knew everyday her children loved her . No Regrets.

So to My Mother - Thank you for loving me .. and for showing me that I am worth it all !!

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View/Sign Guestbook Lois P. Carden >CARDEN Lois P. Carden, 61, of Chester, Va., died Friday, May 18, 2007 at MCV/VCU Medical Center, Richmond. Born in Radford, Va., she was the daughter of the late Jesse and Robie Shepeard Price. She was a member of Calvary Baptist Church in Prince George, Va. She is survived by two daughters, Natalie Carden Blaum and husband, Alan G., of Rockville, Md., Carolyn Carden Gladwell and husband, Michael, of Chester; three sons, Carl R. Carden Jr. of Chesterfield, Christopher Carden and wife, Julie, of Chester, Vincent Marvin Carden and wife, Jennifer, of Disputanta; 11 grandchildren, Amy A. King, William Edward Jones, Ryan Carden, Bradley Keith Carden, Joshua Ashton Carden, Carrie Anne Carden, Amber Rose Carden, Kristen Brooke Carden, Thomas Jonathan Jackson Carden, Lindsey Oeta Gladwell, Brianna Leigh Gladwell; two stepgrandchildren, Krystal Blaum and Jordan Blaum; two great-grandchildren, Dontae Julian King and Anthony Robert King; four sisters, Julia Morris of Columbus, Ohio, Greta Boyles of Radford, Va., Betty Jean Porterfield of Parisburg, Va., Elizabeth Anderson of Fairlawn, Va.; four brothers, Garnet Price, Gary Price, both of Radford, Michael Levi Price of Hopewell, Larry Price of Fairlawn, Va.; and numerous nieces and nephews. Funeral services will be held 1 p.m. Monday, May 21, 2007, in the Colonial Heights Chapel of the E. Alvin Small Funeral Homes & Crematory, 2033 Boulevard, with Pastor Mark Jordan officiating. Entombment will follow in Bermuda Memorial Park, Chester. The family will receive friends from 3 to 4:30 p.m. Sunday afternoon at the funeral home. Condolences may be registered at www.ealvinsmall.com.

What a nice rememberance.  Thank you for sharing it.

Natalie I know your pain but you know that one day you will see her again. I too watched my Dad take his last breath on April 20, 2008 and my mom left us in 1981.  It's ok to cry today because joy comes in the morning.

Natalie, Your Mom sounds like an amazing and caring person. I can see her in you. I pray that God continues to ease the pain of your loss. Joe

Good am Natalie, My thoughts & prayers are with you this am as you are mourning the passing of your mom 1 year ago today. One of my all time FAVORITE poems is below. May it help you on this day remember your mother, the good times you enjoyed and the love you shared.

When Tomorrow Starts Without Me

When tomorrow starts without me, And I'm not there to see, If the sun should rise and find your eyes all filled with tears for me,

I wish so much you wouldn't cry The way you did today, While thinking of the many things, We didn't get to say.

I know how much you love me, As much as I love you, and each time that you think of me, I know you'll miss me too.

But when tomorrow starts without me, Please try to understand, That an angel came and called my name, And took me by the hand, and said my place was ready, In heaven far above, And that I'd have to leave behind All those I dearly love.

But as I turned to walk away, A tear fell from my eye For all my life, I'd always thought, I didn't want to die.

I had so much to live for, So much left yet to do, It seemed almost impossible, That I was leaving you.

I thought of all the yesterdays The good ones and the bad, I thought of all the love we shared, and all the fun we had

If I could re-live yesterday Just even for a while, I'd say good-bye and kiss you And maybe see you smile.

But then I fully realized, That this could never be, For emptiness and memories, would take the place of me.

And when I thought of worldly things, I might miss come tomorrow, I thought of you, and when I did, My heart was filled with sorrow.

But when I walked through heaven's gates, I felt so much at home When God looked down and smiled at me, From His great golden throne.

He said, "This is eternity, And all I've promised you." Today your life on earth is past, But here life starts anew

I promise no tomorrow, But today will always last, And since each day's the same way There's no longing for the past.

You have been so faithful, So trusting and so true. Though there were times You did some things You knew you shouldn't do.

But you have been forgiven And now at last you're free. So won't you come and take my hand And share my life with me?

So when tomorrow starts without me, Don't think we're far apart, For every time you think of me, I'm right here, in your heart.

Author Unknown

Nat please remember that she loved you and always wanted the best for you. I know that this is a very hard time and I know that you will be ok. We are all here for you and will support you in anyway that you need. You are in my prayers and throughts. It is not easy losing a parent and I lost my mom back in 1999 and I still miss her but I know that I will see her again and am looking forward to it. Like  Kats poem says just trust in the Lord and he will be there for you and take care of you.

Thoughts are with you as well. And I have said so many times to everyone to let those who you love know, as after loosing daddy so quickly and not being able to be there I have learned things happen very fast and then this year with loosing my dear aunt at 52 we never know how long we are here for our familys and friends. So your story yet sad but so so true. Your mother is waiting for you as you said and making your place. Thanks for reminding us all how important our lives and loved ones are.

Very beautiful & touching memories.  I hope that those memories help to ease your pain.  My thoughts & prayers are with you.

In loving memoriam of your mother...my thoughts are with you.  BIG HUGS!

What a nice remembrence. You are in my thoughts and prayers today. Take care, Penny