Why even go through all the pain of having this surgery?

So, I have been struggling with whether to post this or not, but reflecting back over the last couple of weeks of weeks of my life, I figure it just needed to be said. Why in the hell would you even bother going through all the crap you have to go with this surgery if you’re not fundamentally going to change your life?

 

Now understand, this is being said from a point of love. This is not vitriolic. But I have read posts where people are struggling with things as basic as taking vitamins and are eating things that aren’t part of their diets or how are trying to outsmart the medical professionals who designed these programs/ My question is: If you are so darned smart, how did your life spiral out of control to the point where you needed surgery?

 

Again, I want to temper this post with the point that I am trying to be upbeat here.

 

In the past couple of weeks I have had so many wonderful things happen and there is no way any of this could have happened if I hadn’t changed everything about the way I live. Last weekend was my daughter’s 2^nd birthday, and we took her to the Great Wolf Lodge. My sons and I went running all over tha****er park and went zipping into tube that my fat body would have been scared of. And I outlasted all of them. I even worked out after they went to sleep. Now I am not bragging here. I am just saying that I did this to live…and not live like I did before. I wanted to be human.

 

Yesterday my wife and I walked all over the Gosport Art Festival here in Portsmouth. In the past I would have sucked down sausages and funnel cakes and then gone home sore from the walking. Instead, I got home, had a salad, and went running.

 

My life is good.

 

Hell I am going skydiving next month.

 

And I am not saying I am perfect. I have had days where I didn’t want to go to the gym. But I also couldn’t do 30 minutes on the treadmill 6 months ago. The way I was living was going to kill me. We all slip back, and that’s okay. I have missed days at the gym. I am still struggling with the feeling that I am huge fat guy. I get depressed sometimes when I smell the comfort foods I used to love. But when you slide back, you just have to get up and pick up where you were.

 

So, the point of all this is to say that if you’re trying to game the system and think it’ll work, it won’t. You have to move regularly. It may not be a 10k, but even a walk around your neighborhood is better than what you did. You have to eat lean, high protein meals. If it is the crap you were eating, get ready for your grave. You have to set aside time to make sure you are getting the vitamins and medicines you need. And most importantly, LIVE.!!!! Get out there and experience those things that your body kept you from doing. If you’re lucky,  you may get 80 years on this planet…well that is a blink of an eye in time. I just spoke to an old girlfriend who I dated 20 years ago…20 YEARS!! It seems like yesterday and yet, if I hadn’t had this surgery, I wouldn’t have lived another 20 years.

 

Hope this is helpful. I swear I meant it to be.

 

 

Glad you got your feelings out. I don't have alot of wisdom or experience since I'm only 2 weeks out. I'm really trying to do what I'm suppose to and I  do think I realize this is my new  life style. I think when you own that idea, it actually makes it easier to fight temptations.  Also, what is the Great Wolf Lodge like? Is it for the whole family or just younger kids? Thanks, Penny 

Great Wolf Lodge is an indoor water park in Williamsburg. It is for the whole family. Temptations are there. And sometimes you give in. And then you push on....And that's okay. What I don't want to see in us in our allowing ourselves to fail because we didn't do what we're supposed to do. To borrow the cliché, this isn't rocket science. They have a program in place on what you're supposed to eat. You're supposed to exercise. Do it and the rewards are there.

Blair ~ Thanks for your post!  I took it as nothing but a positive post.  I am going this Weds for surgery.  I think I am ready, nobody can really say they are until they are wearing the shoes.  When I read stories like yours, it is uplifting to know that there is a new hope for a new life.  A healthier, leaner, active life.  Coming on this forum and reading these stories of hope, struggles and triumph is what us newbies need.  So to you and all the other regulars that put their stories and encouragments out here, I thank you.

Just keep up the good attitude. And remember when you hit the lows (and you will--we all do), turn to us for support! Best of luck this week!

Hi Blair. I read your post and then I re-read the post. I took it as nothing but positive and completely honest. Which is why some may not see the positivity in it. There are those that can not accept the truth for what it is and there are those that just do not or can not hear the truth.



I am not the voice to listen too as I am only out 11 days but I can tell you, and this is Theresa being completely honest, that I too have faultered. Maybe by choice, maybe not. But I know there have been days when I have not taken in my required fluid intake or the required protein intake. But that doesn't mean that I am faultering for life. It is a battle right now to get in those requirements but I make sure that each day, I do noticeably better than I did the day before. I do not want to become a statistic and I do not want to be one of those asking "why did I do this".



I have noticed the drastic life style change that I have made. It is evident in my every day life and I will fight every day to make sure that I continue to live this new way. Instead of asking "why the hell did I do this'... I keep saying... "I didn't go through all this only to end up right back where I started from"



Thanks for posting what you did. I truly love reading things and being a newbie on the losing side, I only benefit from everything that I read on this board, whether it be positive or negative.

You are doing a great thing by being honest with yourself. I guess that is the point of what I post. We are all flawed. Maybe that is why we needed the extra crutch of this surgery to get us where we need to be. My point is that if we do, we have to do it right. I have to tell a personal story here Theresa. When I see the picture of your son, it really touches me. Here is why. My mother was named Theresa and she was morbidly obese. A lot of the strife in my life came about because of her. When I was a child she wouldn't let me go out very much so I got fat too. As I got older, she spent most of the day in bed or asleep. She really messed me up and I look at our dynamic as a part of my failed first marriage and issues I have had along the way. She died about 4 years ago at 54 and it was the moment that I knew I had to do something to not end up like her. And for my children. They needed a dad who wasn't looking for excuses to not do things because he was too fat...or too tired...or whatever... You clearly love your son and are doing what you did to help him...and I applaud you for it. My encouragement to you is to work your tail off now that you have been given a second chance and live every second of what you have left. No one is expecting you (or anyone) to be perfect. Just try to be better today than you were yesterday. I suspect a lot of us got to where we were because we'd figure we couldn't do things perfectly...so why try? I would start dieting...then get stressed and fill my face...then give up. I am sure I am not alone in having been down that path dozens of times....So this time I am not going to let myself fail. I am going to live the life I should have lived for the last 20 years.... And I guess that's what I am trying to say here...

Hey Blair - i totally understand what (and why) you said everything, i'm just starting to "live" down 50 lbs, but have a long way to go.  BUT, we joined a GYM today, i can't wait to go (tues am will be my first appointment)!  I'm going tomorrow just for the treadmill (i'm hoping i can do 30 min, but not sure i can,l YET).  we went to an outlet mall in leesburg today (outdoor one), i walked everywhere, i'm definitely not tiring as quickly. went to my first restaurant (sat in a booth).  i actually fit behind the booth without "wedging myself in"  I had a mini-tuna burger (no bun), some salad greeens and small slice ot tomato, and I HAD A BLAST!  I can't wait to be where you are, but i'm definitely glad i'm making this journey (sorry about the ramble)...love to all, Lys

Lys-- That is great. Baby steps in the right direction are the key. I will admit that I was a bit over-the-top in trying to make myself over after surgery....but focus on being just a little better each day. Try to do what you can and then push yourself a little more each day. I am lucky, but I still have a way to go to get where I want to be too. And that is great about the restaurant experience. I remember being at a banquet at work and taking my first bites a salad post-op. It was like manna. And there really is nothing like squeezing into a booth that you would have avoided before with your old body.

I think this definately needed to be said.  Believe you me, I would NEVER have done this if I wasn't committed to the life change.  Its just too much to go through to throw it away later trying to beat the system.  We are all here because we needed to be.  Believe you me, if I could be heif-ing down my double quarter pounder and fries and still lose 3lbs a week I would be, but that is NOT the case and this is a commitment to YOURSELF, your LIFE, your FAMILY, your FUTURE. I try to be as positive as I can be on this board, but honestly sometimes the ingnorance that I read in certain posters just ****** me off.  Actually I just blogged a bit on this subject just yesterday.  From my blog: Lately, I've been having some pretty strong opinions about certain stupid ass comments on the board.  I get frustrated with people who don't realize that these forums are public and you are representatives of WLS to newbies and therefore need to be careful what claims you make.  Pretty much I'll just beat a dead horse silly and say...  TAKE YOUR SURGEON OFFICE'S DIRECTION for protein intake, food intake, fluid intake, and vitamins.  We all have our own programs and although getting advise or tips from each other, they should never supersede the doctors program. Enough said...