SOS: HELP

It has been about 5 months since I have posted- WOW things have changed within this forum 4 1/2 months ago I was 1lb. away from being under 200lbs-I as so happy. Everything seemd to b going right. Well my life went to hell on July 23, 2006. 9pm I received a knock at my door and it was the local authorities informing me my 12 year old son had died at camp , 300 miles away earlier that day. (I was sched. to pick him up the next morning) My entire world has stopped. It took a week for me to realize I would not be able to work my band due to the continuing need to vomit and or deal with nausea-so I decided to get a cpmplete unfil. I immediatley felt relieved of some pressure (emotional eater as it turns out) and for the last 4 months have eaten my self into a weight gain of 28lbs gained. I am here posting to get help to ge back on track. this weight is making me feel even worse. Ive gained the weight equivelent to my 3 yr old and sure dont like carrying him all day so I am not only grieving but dealing with this weight. A part of me wants to sauy hell with it what difference does it make? But the other remembers the day I spent with my son at camp 6 days bfore he died-and I had lost so much weight after he left that he just stared at me and hugged me and told me how good I looked. I want to look good feel good and be healthy. I also dont want to be so heavy that I cant run after my 3 yr old. Anyway scared I was yesterday getting a fill- a pretty heavy one too - but not to much. My doctor joked and said he wanted to leave enough room for a meatball and sauce for the holidays lol (We r both Italian) o anyway I have forgotten how 2 work this band-I just feel lost-I dont remember and I was hoping you guys could help me get on track- Was nice not to PB for 4 monhs though lol Much Love and I have missed you guys-Diana

Hey Diana! I remember the story about your son on the local news. I am so sorry for your loss. I am a nurse...and I kind of remember the story behind the story irritating me a bit...esp since I have kids...and one close to that age. I am glad that you have come back. I did not realize when I saw the story that you were "an obesity sister." Maybe I would recognize you if I saw an older pic...as I have been here for almost 2 years...and have also changed. I will have to take a peek at your profile! I don't have experience with the band...but I can tell you...up your water and protein. Keep a food journal. Take your vitamins. And...do whatever it takes. Even if it means writing everything down here daily and asking someone to comment on it. We are here for you! Welcome back! Hugs, Stephanie

Thank you- I was irritated about the 2nd story they aired where they announced how my son died they werent supposed to do that. Thank you for replying-I am having a hard time getting used to eating band-style again, But again Thank you your kind words. I hope to be a regular "sister" again. Diana

Hello Diana, I am so sorry about the loss of your son. I can't imagine how painful that must be for you. I just know that it is tearing you apart. I hope that Lois (also on this board) can respond to you as she lost a daughter this summer, but I believe her daughter was older than your son. But maybe she can give you some of her coping mechanisms that she has found works for her. I can't imagine, as I said. Diana, I didn't have the same type of surgery that you had, I had open rny, so I can't really relate to what you're going through. I don't understand about fills and unfill. But I know there are people on this board who have had that particular surgery and maybe they can give you some advice. I just want you to know that this board is full of love and support, and I hope that you come back frequently so you can get what you need here. It's not easy, but your not alone. Take care of yourself Diana, and use your memories to get you through your sadness and grief. love donna

Thank you for responding it makes a difference when people do actually care.

Hi Diana, I lost my 21 y.o. daughter to a senseless accident 6-25-06, so I am with you. I, however, had RNY and lost 9 pounds in 5 days the week she died. Like you and the memory of your son being so proud of the way you looked, Cody was my main motivation for WLS and my success at losing. I cannot help you with the band. I just wanted to tell you use your tool for you and for your son. Every time I hike and trail run I remind myself how much Cody enjoyed encouraging me. I am glad you got a good fill and that you are determined to succeed. Heather on this board is a great success with her band. Hopefully she will read this and give you some advice. Hang in there through the holidays. Lois

I am also sorry for your loss-the pain of this unbelievable as you already well know. Thank for responding. I would lke to also post my sons website if anyone is interested Thank you, Diana www.corey-dejesus.virtual-memorials.com

Your virtual memorial for Corey is very touching. I had to turn the music off, though. That song was one of Cody's favorites. She was quite moved when Eric's son fell from the window and then again when the song came out. Cody's photo is posted on my profile. This time of year is terrible for us, and I am having an even worse time because I just had a hysterectomy--decreased hormones making me even more tearful. I think Keith W on this board is also a lap-bander. He checks in every so often. Do keep your eyes open for Heather, though. She is quite an inspiration. Hugs for the Holidays, Lois

G'morning Diana, Your memorial HONORING your sons life, brought tears to my eyes. I'm SO VERY SORRY for your loss! Hugs and prayers - Leilani

I'm sorry, I forgot to mention - OH has a very ACTIVE "lap band forum", lots of posting and updates there. Maybe they can help you with specific questions to the band intself, since many of us here are clueless to it. http://www.obesityhelp.com/forums/lapband/a,messageboard/board_id,5359/ BUT - make sure to keep coming here and stay in touch, although many may not be able to help you with BAND-specific questions, we can sure support you in every other aspect of the journey. Welcome back!