A flood of emotions...

I have been lurking on this site for sometime...but never posted as I didn't feel I needed to until now. My surgery is scheduled for October 19 with Dr. Bautista at Commonwealth Surgeons. I find myself very excited about the surgery while I am reading the boards and everyone's profiles...but then during the evenings and at times that I am not caught up in the excitement of everyone's successes, I get really apprehensive about it. I have no doubt that I can do this and I know it is the best thing I can do for myself and in the end I will be a much happier and healthier person. I just dwell on the fact that this is really a life altering operation and that I will never be the same again...and it scares me to death. I guess all of these emotions are normal...but any words of wisdom and other folks feelings and emotions like this pre-opt would be greatly appreciated.

What you're going through is completely normal. The days leading up to surgery, I was always on one side of the fence or the other. One day I would be more ready than I'd ever been, and the next day I'd be wanting to cancel my surgery. You just need to trust yourself, trust God, and trust that everything will turn out okay. You wouldn't have a date if you didn't need the surgery, and though it may change your life, it will change it for the better. Things will be different at first, but in time you will adapt to the changes, and it will become natural. I know you're going through a lot. Just stay close to your friends and loved ones and soak up all the support you can get. You've made the right decision, you just have to trust yourself that you have. *hugs* hang in there! We'll all be here with you through everything.

Hi Char, You expressed yourself well, and I think most of us who have had the surgery have experienced some or all of what you are going through. I had all the same thoughts and feelings you've described.... we all come into this with our own life experiences, fears and concerns. I remember feeling so.... much HOPE - it was like a bright, shining beacon - and yet my fears were just as great... would this surgery work for me, would I "live" through it, was I ready for a physical change that would effect the rest of my life, could I handle it mentally, emotionally..... ? I can't even begin to describe everything I went through. I guess the bottom line is that the decision is so very personal. Whether you are ready, whether it is right for YOU, etc. Searching your heart, talking with your family and prayer can be invaluable in knowing what you should do. I will say that I am so...... grateful for the surgery!!! It has had its scary moments, including a bowel obstruction surgery at 17 weeks out, and dumping and such, but I wouldn't give it up for anything. I don't believe I would have ever lost the weight any other way - I'd been solidly on WW for 12 years - committed to the program and to exercise, and I'd stop losing at a certain point or gaining weight. (Doctors, WW leaders, etc. were always mystified by how my body responded!) Because of hypothyroidism and metabolism issues, I just needed fewer calories to lose weight, and couldn't do that on my own without extreme hunger, deprivation and malnutrition. I also have MS and Fibromyalgia, as well as a family history of diabetes and heart disease. It was just time for me to get the extra weight off, and as I said, this surgery, for me, was the only way. My ONLY regret is not doing it sooner! It has changed my life in so many ways - some requiring major change, but all of it manageable and worthwhile for the quality of life I now experience!!! And besides the wonderful health benefits, I am smaller than I was even in Jr. High school - almost as small as elementary. That part is surreal...... but while I try to grapple with it, I still LOVE it! I love that I no longer have to shop in the Women's section of the store, and feel shame and embarrassment. I couldl go on and on and on about the benefits that have come, but you will experience those for yourself! I've always felt so strongly that life is more about the journey than the destination, and in this experience with WLS it is especially true! The journey is a gift - not always easy - but wonderful, beautiful, joyful and so worth taking the time to enjoy every step of the way!!! My best to you, Crystal

O sweet heart , Do I know the feeling . While I surfed this site for months pre-op .. I must have changed my mind atleast once .. doubted I could do this .. but knew that I wanted to live . I know in your you realize that the fight against Obesity really does not stop with Gastric Bypass surgery , while you get the tool , you are forever bound to the lifestyle . Many think the new pouch does it all , well .. it does for a while , then the good food choices and exercise come into play . Can you do this , I am sure you can .. while it is a forever life altering decision , it will be one that will save your life .. it will give you more time with your family, it will open doors that have never been open before .. you will get your life back . If it where not for OH and the people here , I do not think I would have made it . This is one great support system . This is my family . ... no matter where they are .. what happens in their lives, we are all bound by the common demoninator ... WLS .. And trust me .. there is more love and support here than anywhere I have ever been as far as support groups . I highly suggest that you keep posting and get involved in the support groups at St. Mary's .. they are a great bunch of people and have the best education tools around . If I can ever be of help to you , do not hesitate to email me ... You can do this .. and we will support you . Love .. and much respect , Natalie

Thanks to all of you for taking the time to reply....I really appreciate your input and knowing everyone is there for me...I am not really having second thoughts..I know this is the best thing I could do for myself and my family. I just have to keep my eye on the big picture (or smaller one..ha/ha)...Thanks again girls....

Char - you just need to go with your instincts. We have all been where you are and we were all scared and worried about what we had taken on and if we could do it long term. Once you get started it becomes the norm and life is not really so different - it is just more wonderful. You may not be able to eat such huge amounts but you can eat decent food, you can run around and have more energy, you can like yourself when you look in the mirror - you can bask in the compliments of your family and friends. And to top it off you will feel so much healthier!! I have had no complications at all and would do it again in a heartbeat - as would all of us I think. Plus this support board is the best one around!! You will gain a new family here that will listen to all your woes and give you advice based on experience - not on books or articles........ unlike doctors etc..... I am sure you will be fine - it does take courage and right until they gave me the happy drugs I was not sure if I could go through with it.... but I am so glad that I did! Jackie

Like the others have posted, I felt the way you do, too. My take is now from hindsight and selfish: yes, my life was changed forever and will never the way way it was and HOORAY for that!!!! I feel SOOOO good it is indescribable and I LOVE the way the new me looks. That includes the huge number of wrinkles in my deflated face and the loose skin on my upper arms, and bumping my tailbone on everything. YIPPEE . I just trusted that God hadn't lead me to the surgery to have me die. Good luck and listen to that inner voice. Lois

Very normal, Sweetie...we have all been there at that stage of the journey. I do not regret a minute of my journey! If I had to do it again, I certainly would. It has changed my life for the better! It is an invaluable tool and it works if you are commited enough to change your life. Yoou will do fine. If you ever want to talk, please email me. Hugs, Betsy

Hey Sweetie, I really feel for what you're going through. You see, it was just a couple of months ago that I was in your shoes and feeling all the same things. Very normal. You have to ask yourself one basic question..."Do I want to live a normal healthy & happy life as a normal size person?" If your answer to that question is YES then you are making the right decision. It is a lot to go through but I have to tell you that my experience was just about pain free. I had open RNY and Dr. Neil Hutcher was my doctor. I had a very positive experience and wouldn't change a thing. Take a look at my before and after picture at the bottom of my profile. This drastic change took place in less than two months. There isn't anyway I could have lost that kind of weight doing anything else. My matabalism had shut down. Having this surgery, I regained my youthfulness. Yes, I'm 51 but now I don't feel 99. I was so trapped in my own body that I couldn't be me. Even though I am still at the beginning of my journey I am very excited with each and every pound that is dropped. I have lost 54 lbs since my surgery. I feel energetic and I can go shopping without totally giving out. I don't sweat profusely anymore either. Actually I find myself cold most of the time. Please don't allow your fears to cheat you out of something so wonderful. Yes it's a lot to go through but it only for a short period of time and then before you know it, you will be reaping the rewards. Please feel free to e mail me. I will give you my phone number if you would like someone to talk to. I am also getting ready to take over the support group at John Randolph Hospital and I see you are in the Southside area. This may be a good meeting for you to attend. You would meet others who have had the surgery, some that are waiting to have the surgery and gain valuable information for your journey. Drop me an e mail and let's talk. Sometimes it helps to hear a friendly voice of someone who's been there. Wishing you all the best and congratulation on getting a date so painlessly. Lots of Love Kathy