Reflections on My First Year! Repost from main

Okay, it's been a little over a year, but here goes. In August of 2005, I was over 400 lbs. I was 5'5" and miserable. I smiled but only because I was trying to put on a happy face. I had few friends (almost none at that time) and was very isolated. We lived in a ground floor apartment with a single step up (the threshold) and even that made me wince to cross. Even though our mailbox was literally right out our front door, the only reason I forced myself to check the mail was to make sure our bills were paid. With diabetes, high blood pressure, social anxiety disorder, panic attacks, depression and general anxiety disorder, even my house never truly got cleaned like it should have been. I washed dishes only once every few days and it took me an hour to take a simple shower. Today, September of 2006, I am 236 lbs and 5'6". LOL. I've lost well over 160 lbs and gained an inch in height. I'm no longer on any meds except my vitamins. I have some new, true friends and I get out a lot more. I'm even looking for a job working with the public. I smile more easily now. We live in another ground floor apartment, but now, I take walks around the neighborhood without having to stop for breath. I can carry out three bags of garbage to the dumpster 2 blocks away, or check the mail 3 blocks away and not even bat an eye. My house stays clean, dishes done, etc. Today is a new day and although I still make bad food choices (a lot lately, with the stress of job hunting after 2 1/2 years of being a stay-at-home mom), I know I'll still lose those next 45-55 lbs that will get me to my goal of 180-190 lbs. I feel sooooo much better. I sleep better. I can take a quick shower and not have to stop to get feeling back in my feet from standing so long. Every day is a struggle. Every day, I have to remind myself why I had this surgery. I say that I will never forget but the longer I spend at this size (22's are comfortable, but I can wear 20's), the more I shock myself with memories of what I used to be. Thanks so much to everyone who, over the past year or so, who offered support and help. And to those of you who only put people down or feel that your way is the ONLY way to do things right, you can kiss my big, white......butt. Your attitude doesn't make this any easier and telling everyone that they're doing everything wrong, instead of simply offering suggestions, reminds them of the past, when depression ruled us and those kind of comments would send us running for the kitchen. So shut up and think of constructive ways to offer support, not criticism to make yourself feel superior. I'm done now and I'm happy. I've had my say and feel so much better. With love and gratitude, Tonya 405/379/236/180 (high/surgery/current/goal) 5'6" (gained an inch!) High BMI = 67.9/Surgery BMI = 63.1/Current BMI = 38.1!!/Goal BMI = 30 "Inside every fat person is a thin person screaming to get out. Inside this thin woman is a fat woman *****members." - unknown

Tonya, You have come a great distance in one year and for that I applaud you!! I haven't seen people on this board put people down, only offer encouragement as we are all here for the same purpose - support- to give it and to receive it. I am sorry you feel that people did that to you. I wish you much success on getting to your goal - which I am sure you CAN achieve!!! Jackie

Hey Tonya! Congrats on your many accomplishments! Hope you are enjoying Florida! You look beautiful! Christine

Glad to hear from you, Tonya, I have thought about you numerous times over the summer, wondering if you had gotten moved. Reading what Party Princess wrote I reckon you have. Congratulations on your journey thus far and good luck on the job hunt. God bless and please let us know when you reach your goal. Love and hugs, Lois

Way to go Tonya. Long time to chat. Sounds like things are going well for you. Job well done. I am still a work in progress w/ some issues but getting better. Good to see your smiling face. Thanks for being so helpful to me when I was a new post op. Shannon

Hi Tonya! Way to go!!! I am so happy for you, and I hope that you are enjoying Florida. It's hard to believe that it has been a year already! I remember when I was first exploring WLS and you had recently had your surgery. Reading your posts were inspiring. I've been off & on (mainly off) the board for a while now, so when I saw your post, I was so excited to hear that you are doing so well. Keep up your great work! I'm finding out how additive carbs & sugar free treats can be(especially since I was an emotional eatter too), but I'm sure we will both find our way to goal weight. Congrats Julie