Introduce Yourself .. Share your Journey .

Melinda... congrats sweetie .. you too have fought the good fight and you are doing so well . Keep up the great work .... And keep sharing your story . There is someone out there that is sitting just like you where --- possibly on oxygen , Unable to get around that will read your story and be inspired ... you are a true inspiration girl ! Many hugs and lots of love ! Natalie

:::::::::: Standing UP ::::::::::: Hello room, my name is Leilani and I have an addiction called FOOD. Oh and not just ANY food, nah, I have to go with the higher caloric foods, full of sugar and carbs! AKA a "Sweet-aholic", always have been, always will be. My saving grace, this surgery gives me HOPE and OPTIMISM that I can and will succeed, long term. ::::::::: Eyeing the Krispy Kremes Donuts as I sit back down ::::::: .

STEP AWAY FROM THE DONUT AND NO ONE WILL GET HURT....

LOLOL - that reminds me of a story once, unfortunately ....[sigh].... a true one. One of our clients had some donuts, bagels, cream puffs, every yummy oooey gooey (good gawd, Im about to purrrrrrrrrrr here) delectable sugary morsel you could ever imagine sent to our office. Of course, LEI always had to be the first one to scope out the goodies. I had 30 employees and two other partners and NONE of 'em ever got in my path when the smell of "bakery" was in da' air. It was a death wish and they were relatively smart peeps. Sooooooooooo - I run, er, walk fast to the kitchen --- immediately zero in on a powdered pile of poofiness just oozing with nilla cream, not sure if I even took a deep breath first (should have though) and in one bite, over half of that donut disappeared. Of course, that's when one of my partners decided to show up with an urgent question. My backs to him and he's hollaring at me, I'm hoping, dreaming, praying that the BIG chunk of donut I just bit into will just mysteriously disappear, please please please God, make it MELT fast. No such luck - so instead, I start doing the 'chimpmunk chew" in turbo drive, still with my back turned to him. Chomp chomp chomp chomp, small swallow, don't choke, chomp chomp chomp, etc. I can FEEL powder spurtin' outta my ears, and just as my partner comes up beside me and pounds me on the back - a BILLOW of white sugar powder and nilla cream comes spewwwwwwwwwwing out. Unfortunately, he got directly in it's path and literally ended up wearing it like a face mask! [smirk]....I'm sure he deserved it, for one reason or another! Hugs - Lei (who's always had this much class, honest! LOL)

::::::::: Eyeing the Krispy Kremes Donuts as I sit back down ::::::: Please save me all the toasted coconuts !!!!! Smoooooooooches Dana

It never goes away does it! Hi, Im Leigh. I still continues to amaze me how many people out there could be me with just a different name. All the different emotions that go along with this disease. Like many I have lost huge amts of weight (120 x2) and gained it all back. I have not attempted another major weight loss in at least 10 years. I am tired. The "horse" gets taller and taller to the point that I just do not think I can reach up and pull myself up one more time only to fall off again. Oh the successes are all fine and good, but I am not sure if I can handle another failure. I am sorry this is such a down note, but it where I am. I do not have the energy to do anything much less mount that damn horse again. But, my joints are hurting, and I know based on family history, they are just going to keep getting worse. I have to get some weight off. I do not know how much I weigh, but based on clothing size probably between 275 and 285. I am just starting out. I love this board. There is so much encouragement that is why I try an keep my downer-posts to a minimum. Everybody needs to hear the good stuff. Thanks again for your compassion and willingness to share! Leigh

I am Lois. My daughter's (21y.o.) recent death as a result of an auto accident rules my life right now. Honestly, I did not think anything could change my life MORE than my WLS in January of this year, but I was certainly wrong. Anyway, I lost 9 pounds the week of her death and have not lost one more pound since the week of June 25th. The research testing I am having done shows I am losing fat AND am gaining lean muscle mass, though. Monday the 24th of July I went to work for Cody's employer to help him out fo the pinch her death had left him in. I pull wire now, 8 hrs a day. About 10 each a.m. my upper arm muscles start to burn, from all the exercise. I go up and down stairs, probably 40 times a day and lift heavy rolls of wire. If I made as much doing this as teaching I would change professions. I have lost 101 pounds. I keep bouncing up and down a pound or two. This isn't much of a stall I don't think--just learning how to eat for the amount of energy I am expending each day--also I am having to learn to hydrate properly. One day I did get dizzy, when I skipped lunch to run an errand for my son. My goal is 130 pounds and I am now 166. I bought 3 pair of slacks at Wally World this week so that I would have something to wear to my regular job (teaching) at the end of August. The slacks are size 12s. Been many many years since I saw that size! 36 pounds to go. The past 10 days with no internet has been a tremendous upset. My OH friends have been such a support for me. Love to you all, Lois

Well, I really can't believe I'm going out on this limb, but if I don't do it now I don't think I ever will. I'm Linda. I'm 54, till next month. I was not a fat kid, I was very thin, if not sickly. It seems my 3 sisters and I all gained weight after escaping through marriages from our abusive sperm donor. Not physically abusive to us, (although numerous therapists swear there was sexual abuse), just our mother, but that's still abuse. Weird how we all did that. Anyway, I didn't really gain that much until inheriting 2 teens through the death of their mother, when my children were 1 and 4, and ending up on tranquilizers and antidepressants. That was before hitting 30 and it's been a battle since then. I topped out at 369 before my RNY 1/25/02. Finally I was given my life back. I was so grateful. I lost 155 by my anniversary date. But you know, as bad as being fat hurt, and as wonderful as losing felt, how on earth could I let it slip away from me? I believe my check up 6 months laterwas the last time I went to Dr. Hutchers office. I had gained 14 pounds. My friend who had hers 6 weeks before I had mine had gone up 10 and was told that's understandable. She's still very thin, by the way. She met her goal. I guess it just caught me wrong when I was scolded ( no, not seriously scolded, but enough to embarrass me) for 4 more, then when I really started to gain it back I was too ashamed to walk in that door and see the disapproving looks on all their faces. I still haven't managed to do it. I had only gotten down to 210, and even though people at work were saying "okay, you've lost enough now, don't lose anymore!", I was still wearing a size 20 jeans, only down that far from a 32. I'm once again wearing those 32's, although I have managed to not gain back the last 30-40 pounds. It seems it looks bigger now than it did then. I had expectations of getting down at least to a 16-18, and at least under 200. And the skin hanging was bad enough. You know, it seemed that fat hanging skin looked a little better than what I had then. Thinking that I would be able to get the TT was helping to lose the weight, but then realizing that without a medical reason for it I would not get approved for it, just defeated me. Then when I had to have a hysterectomy last year, it made that even worse. I foolishly told the surgeon that I was worried that the hanging skin would cause infections with a horizontal incision, so he did it vertically. Afterwards, I couldn't figure out what was so odd feeling. It was my stomach, touching my upper thighs. I didn't stop to think that with him cutting through the muscles I'd lose what tiny bit of muscle I had holding this hanging mess in place. I expected to be able to get off my blood pressure medication and antidepressant like so many others did after the RNY, but I'm still on them. I'm afraid I just let it defeat me. I didn't have sleep apnea then, but do since regaining the weight. I now have 3 sleep disorders where I only had 1 then. I have to take 1200 mgs of Nurontin and a Lunesta tab to get to sleep or I sleep only 2-3 hours each night. I developed PTSD after Hurricane Isabel, due to not being allowed to leave the tollbooth till the middle of the hurricane, even though trees were falling down around us. I was switched to Lexapro, which sent my Resless Legs Syndrome out of control, and started to gain very quickly. I ate at night, and ate, and ate, and ate. I am finally back on Welbutrin, which is the only one I can take and NOT exacerbate the RLS, rendering the medication for that as useless. When it's bad, I have to walk around my house for hours on end, back and forth, back and forth, to stop it long enough to get 2 hours of sleep. After this long, it's a real battle again to not eat. Sometimes I can eat way too much, sometimes the least thing I eat can make me run to vomit. I'm thoroughly disgusted with myself for allowing myself to get back here. I did fine last year in regards to the PTSD, but this year it's back with a vengeance. As the other poster said, I'm sorry to be so negative, I really don't want to put doubts in any pre-ops mind. I don't regret the RNY at all. I'm still grateful I had the chance to change my life. I'm just so damned mad at myself for abusing it and not maintaining that weight loss. I see no hope of ever getting it off again. Well, I guess that's not entirely true either. I guess I wouldn't be in this forum if I had no hope at all. I guess I just can't see a light at the end of this tunnel. Sorry for being so lengthy. I guess I figured if I'm gonna get this out, I'd better go all the way. Thanks for reading.