Returning with a new focus...
I find in the process that even though it's necessary to focus on one day.....really right now one hour...at a time....that it's still important to look and plan ahead.
Having always been a super busy (probably some kind of over compensation) woman involved in many things, as I approached surgery I pulled out of many of my obligations. Besides the fact that homeschooling a middle schooler is very demanding, driving same child to all his "places" takes up more time.....so what remained HAD to become my time to get set for this. So that leads me to two things to think about and I wonder how you all deal with these issues in your daily lives:
Have you found that a big weight loss has actually freed up more time in your life even though getting to that point really does require a lot of time thought and focus??? I wonder because I'm sure I must "waste" a lot of time being fat just in the extra few moments it takes me to do things that surely must add up in a day's time.
AND How do you respond to people who expect you to return to your previous obligations without coming off as "self involved or self important." I have always done a LOT of church work but I have plans to spend a lot of time at the gym getting this abused body back in order. I don't know what to say to these people who keep saying, "Well when you get some weight off, feel better, etc. you can come back and we'll need you." Because.....at this point I just don't see me going back to a lot of what I did. I THINK that very thing might set me up for failure or at the least a much slower end-stage weight loss. How have you coped?
Amy 
Hi Amy,
You could simply tell these people that right now you are focusing on developing your new lifestyle and if and when you have time to volunteer again you will let them know. Most people don't realize what is involved in our new lifestyle...It is ok to take care of you - I have learned that I have to say yes to me and no to other things - it has been a hard one for me to learn - it is not being selfish at all - it is about balance.
Good luck!
Monica
Amy,
I have coped by not giving other people false expectations of myself. So what if you seem self involved or self important? Of course you are, you cannot take care of the world without taking care of yourself first. Isn't that what they lecture on airplanes with parents and children? They tell them in case of emergency to put the mask on themselves first, then take care of the child. Well, that philosophy applies to life as well. You can never know or change how other people will see you or judge you, you can only do what you know is right for you. When you stop worrying about "what everyone else thinks" you will find a freedom so sweet, you'll never want to go back. Follow your heart, and your doctor's advice, and you cannot go wrong. Follow the expectations of others, and you are sure to fail.
Good luck,
Carole
Amy ,
Whether some like it or not . This time is for You .. everything you do from now on will be about you .. your health and your new life .
When I was obese , my life was pretty focuses on my career .. my grandchildren and my children . I have evolved now into a social buttefly .. a support group leader and a consultant .. my life now is so greater than I ever imagined .
You have to stay focused on the next couple of years on this journey .. and yes your life will get better , it may change some too ..
As to focus , I focus daily on me .. my weight and my health .. I did not have this surgery to be a failure .. I can not and will not fail . Do I sometimes get pulled from the beaten path .. sure I do . but I know that this is my gift and I am not to abuse it .. and I start each day anew ..
Just enjoy this time .. take it slow and easy .. no worries .. keep it all real . As to your future activites .. what ever comes your way does .. but you have and must stay focused on you .. and your new life ..
Hugs,
Nat
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