Did you keep it a secret????

I am only 2 months into my 6-month documented dieting phase( lost 3 pounds so far), and I hope to get insurance approval by the end of the year. I was just wondering... What did you tell the people at work, school, neighborhood, etc about your surgery and weight loss? I know my family and closest friends will know, but I don't want to tell the people at work or church. I know they will notice I am losing weight ( I plan to lose about 100 pounds after surgery), but I don't want to tell them I had surgery. What experiences have you guys had concerning this? Did you tell everyone or not?

Don't tell a soul. This is the first bit of advice I give anyone who tells me they are thinking about the surgery. What do you have to gain by telling others? Nothing. Again, Don't tell a soul. I hope this helps and I made myself clear. john

I have not yet had surgery either, but don't plan on telling everyone. I am fortunate to have had an experience previously in life where I learned how to deal with people who probably mean well, but are actually asking questions that go across the line of privacy. No one is entitled to your medical information!! There are laws that safeguard it, so why should you feel obligated to tell anyone anything??!! When they compliment your weight loss, thank them for noticing and say you are working very hard at it. (Even with surgery, you WILL be). When people ask a question you aren't comfortable with, smile and say nothing. For the very truly nosy and obtrusive there is always the statement, "Now what would make you ask a question about my medical history like that!?" Use the most pleasant tone possible and be sweet. I spent three years trying to get pregnant, and some people will be concerned, and some just misery voyeurs. I found that having my answers at the ready was helpful!!! You owe NO ONE explanations about your medical choices.

I am due to have my surgery in less than 2 weeks and I told people. I was hoping to get support from people regarding my stuggle and with some of my friends I did. But along with the support, I got every freakin horror story imaginable along with their reasons why i was making a bad choice. It lead to problems at work with my boss and she then felt the need to put it in my yearly evaluation. I guess my advice is...be selective in who you tell. And might be a good idea to keep it out of work if you can...good luck to you angie

Personally I told everyone. They will know that something is up because you lose so fast during the first year. I am not ashamed of what I did and I know that it was anything but the easy way out. I told all of my family before I had it done and a select few people at work but when I came back to work I told whoever asked. It is all a matter of personal opinion. I am very much an advocate for this surgery. I believe that if you have done your research and want to have it done and your doctor and surgeon are in agreement then nothing should stop you. In order to let my beliefs be known I have to let people know I have had this surgery. Do what you feel is best but know that people will ask when you lose 100 lbs in just a few months. Be prepared to give them some kind of answer...be it telling them about the surgery or telling them you have been dieting and working out or something like that. Good luck to you and Godspeed on your approval. Tammy

This is a highly individual thing and you need to do what feels right for YOU. This is ALL about you and your needs. My personal take on it for what it's worth: I told anybody who would listen....and then I told them again. I expect in the nearly two years I waited for my surgery I probably nearly drove a few people over the edge. I told them for several reasons. I wanted to know that I was going into this with an army of angels supporting me and lifting me up in prayer. I feel like I got that because I asked for it. I was as much listening to myself tell them about the surgery and my feelings and how it would be so I could get it in my own head....you know....the easiest way to learn something is to teach somebody else??? Is that right or did I just make up my own thing there??? And then.....I thought if by any small chance I was around somebody who either was contemplating this for themselves.....or had a loved one who needed to hear about the surgery or know more about it....if I didn't share with people some of them might never have the courage or the info they need. As a result of my being open with people I KNOW of three people who were "secretly" wondering about it....and now they are "watching" my experience and they are people who could desperately use the change in their lives that this surgery would bring to them. Best wishes to you in this adventure! You will learn a lot about yourself and it's really kinda fun! Peace, Amy

Kim... I told select people only...my immediate family and a few close friends. I KNEW I shouldn't have told one close friend because she hasn't confronted her own weight demons...and it has affected our friendship. Another friend dropped me cold turkey. I guess she didn't want to have to face me losing weight. My neighbors are very meddeling and nosey people..so I just let them watch and eat their hearts out...Same with most of the people I use to work with. I don't have a problem being honest with anyone about myself or my decisions. I just don't wanna hear half assed opinions and be put in the position where I have to justify or get on the defense. We have all done our homework on our surgery before we decided to do it. Who cares what meaningless people have to say about us. Good Luck and look forward to hearing about your journey on this !!! Dana

I told everyone. I was comfortable with that and never thought otherwise. I didn't make any grand announcements but if people asked, I told them. Kathy

Kim- I only told my husband until I was approved. Once approved I only told my parents and my boss (to explain why I needed time off...didn't have to tell her but we have a great relationship and I knew she'd be supportive and could trust her to keep it quiet). Since then I've only told one other really close friend and trusted medical professionals/short-term disability folks. For me it's a matter of not wanting a bunch of unsolicited opinions...I have low-tolerance for rude people...and I know some people would be. As for after I go back to work and start "melting away"....I'll decide then. Most co-workers are starting to realize that I'm getting ready to take off a long time period, so they'll probably put two-and-two together. It's a personal decision and like the other people have said....be prepared for questions. I've had a few people ask why I'll be out and I've just told them that I'm taking the time for personal reasons (with a ). Most don't pry after that. Best wishes to you! Christina S

I had surgery almost 7 months ago... I didn't keep it a SECRET, but I didn't go around telling people either. My immediate family knew, and I told the associates on my team (I was a bank manager.) Otherwise, if someone asked specifically about the surgery, I was honest and said I needed to make "permanant changes to save my life." Once I started losing, people have asked me how I did it and I tell them simply "hard work: diet and exercise." My mom (post op 13 years) told me she told people "I eat less and move more. No other way to lose weight!" Focus on the fact that WLS is NOT the easy way... it's really the HARD way, but a tool to ensure your success for LIFE!! Hugs and KEEP IT UP!! Tammy 303/198/150ish surgery/2 weeks ago/goal