Me Quiet?

I suppose I am in hiding. I get really quiet sometimes when I am nervous. Got 2 more days and then WHAM it all hits me. My stomach is in knots and I really just don't want to talk to anyone...is that strange? I suppose if I talk to anyone I will be forced to admit my fears and Michele fears nothing *snickers*. I am always the ROCK. The STRONG one. Whatever...I'm a freakin mess INSIDE. I will post more post op...I am so sorry I haven't had much to add the last week. I have been lurking though. My prayers to everyone and I will TRY to post before the big day 31MAY 8am if not I will post op. For those of you wanting to find out info you can either call the hospital (info in profile) and they will transfer you to my room OR you can email me ([email protected]) and I will give you Phil's (husband) cell number and he can update you. Till then...thanks for all the support and encouragement. *bites nails and holds breath* Much Love... Shele

Hey Shele, I would love to tell you not to be nervous but that would be a bit hypocritical as I am right there with ya girl! My big day is Friday. I am so excited but I am a complete nervous wreck. It's hard because there are certain people that if you tell them that you are nervous, they are like, "well, you know you don't have to do this. this is your choice." This is not a choice...it's as urgent as getting your appendix out. It must be done...There's also nothing wrong with being excited and nervous at the same time! Think back to being a kid...first day of school or more recent, starting a new job. It's the same kind of feeling but more intense. Anyway, hang in there girl...I'll be trying to hang in myself. Good luck. We'll be thinking about you. Christine

To both Shele and Christine, and then of course there are the people that tell you 'don't worry, your feelings are normal'. Which is me!! I was just outside washing the hot tub and deck and I was thinking how last year this time (a few months before surgery) I was always so worried when I would do something like that, that I would fall and break a bone or something and then they wouldn't be able to do surgery!! Not that I don't worry now!! So here's my parting words - be careful when you're out washing the deck, walk safely, find your serene place and go there often, sit and be quiet and just contemplate how this is going to change your life, the good, the bad, the ugly, and how so prepared you both are for it!! You have a ton of friends here on the board, we all love and totally support you both. Trust me, that is more than half the battle, having the support of understanding people. Oh, and for the next few days, stay away from nay sayers!! I had a friend who I thought was opposed to the surgery, and we met for lunch just before I had it and I told her 'look if you're not going to be supportive, we're done with lunch'. And she said no she was going to be terribly supportive. I didn't need any negative vibes going on - and neither do you two!! Check in here often if for nothing else just to read. Well gotta go back to the yard - I've had my little break. Love you!! donna

Thanks so much Donna! I really needed that today! Love ya! Christine

Hi Christine, don't laugh - but it's another break for me!! Ha ha - I love yard work, but --- there are too many dang mosquitos right now!! Give me a minute and I'll go back out. I'm glad you saw my post since i know it went to Shele. Don't worry Christine, you'll do fine. And you have all that good VA Beach support!! Doesn't get any better than that!! I can't wait to meet you. I hate to ask but will you be at the Richmond gathering? I know it's rather soon, but you're a young chick, you can do it!! Take care, be peaceful (yes, I am a hippie chick and if that doesn't date me I don't know what will!!) and serene, and you'll be fine!! love you! donna

Thanks Donna and Christine....I am keeping myself busy here and there. And trying to keep my mind body and spirit very POSITIVE! I'm getting excited more and more also! Thanks again! Love.. Shele

I am trying really hard to be peaceful and it starts to work for awhile and then BAM! anxiety's back! Ugh! As far as the Richmond gathering, I couldn't commit as the deadline is the weekend of my surgery (I think) and wasn't sure how things would be by then...I'm sure I'll be back at work but not sure how bad I will have to catch up. I would love to go but I'll have to see if I can beg for a late add when it gets a little closer. Keep your fingers crossed that David and Natalie will have mercy on a 3 week post-oper (by then). Hmmm....we'll see! Christine

Hey Shele, Come on out from under that and let us see your gorgeous smiling face. I do understand you being nervous because I am going to be the same way in about 4-5 weeks. Just remember we are going through this together so to speak. I am so happy for you....so just try to remember how happy you were when you got the word you were approved!!! That's what I am going to try and focus on when it's getting close to my surgery date. You are so loved and such a special person. I will be in constant prayer for you, my sweet Shele. You are going to be just fine. I am praying right now for you to receive the peace and the grace to get you through until the day and God's healing grace to get you through the recooperation. My the hands of your surgeon be guided by that of the Lord. Believe this and you will be in the best hands possible. I will check out your profile so I will know where you are and all the details of your surgery. Keep the faith and keep your head up. You will be fine!!! All of us will be waiting to hear from you as soon as you are up to posting again. Until then, know you are loved beyond measure. Lots of Love Kathy

Hey girlys!!!!!!!!! We all have our way of dealing with crap and coping. I'd say my way is laughing through it. Feels lots less scary somehow if we can just laugh about it. However you deal is ok. I think what I wanted to tell both of you though is more about the actual surgery. I've had 6 pretty major surgeries now, but I suppose only 4 if we are counting being completely OUT. My biggest, hugest, worse problem is feeling nauseous coming out of the anesthesia. You have to deal with extra breathing, irritating lights, people talking too loud, PAIN, and then add nauseous to it and I'm really really cranky!!!! I finally figured it out though, and want to share. I talked to the anesthesiologist, I mean really told him how much I HATE that feeling on top of everything else. Know what?????????? He FIXED IT!!!!!!! Last recovery room experience was so much better!!!! If you know in advance there's something you HATE coming out of that, tell them and they really can pretty much fix anything!!! Other than that, remember if it hurts, it will get better. Nothing lasts forever, and more pain meds make us all happier!!! When you post to us when you get home...........we'd like to advise you to do it right after you take your pain meds, you are way funnier that way!!!! HEE HEE!!! We are all here praying for you and are here to answer any questions that come up along the way!!!! Gods Speed!!! Sharon

Kathy and Sharon.... here I sit 620 am the sun is just about to peak the mountain tops which is a time of day I love the most........right now even though I have ONE day before my surgery I am currently at peace ****il both my kids wake up and start fighting that is) lol. I am so very thankful for both of your responces as they have made me feel so much better. I NEVER thought that I would be so anxious, usually my lexipro keeps me at a nice pace but certain times when it is something out of the norm I go a little haywire. Today will be spent getting my bag together and BOWEL prepping. Oh how nice. Can we say ??? (pre bowel prep) I am going over to my friends house so she can help me prep (shave) my nether regions (yes she is that close to me) as well as cut and maybe french braid my head hair (as I have the hair like Mrs. Munster and Cousin It combined only CURLY) to make things easier for me. It is almost comical how I had to differentiate the two hair places! Ok the laughter part of dealing is coming into play here Sharon. Then off to the store to grab MORE liquidy things for my post op diet that I have already been on for 2 weeks now and finally home to prep. Thank you both for your calming posts as they were much loved and appreciated. Love... Shele