Need your input, thoughts....

Hey guys, I've hesitated to bring this up, but I need to because I want to get more involved with all of you. Here goes... I haven't told anyone about my surgery but immediate family and one close friend. I don't WANT anyone to know something that is private to me. I've wanted to attend the meet 'n greets you have for the last year, but alas, you always have "pictures" which many of you post. I don't want my picture on the internet anyway, and certainly not associated with the WLS I've kept to myself. Help! Ideas? Thoughts? I haven't been willing to give up my anonymity even though I've been tempted, and everytime I've considered it, I am so glad I didn't when I see all the pictures..... I really want to meet you all and get to know you, and have some support, but this is a HUGE issue for me.....and "maybe" there are others like me? I don't know... Crystal

Crystal, I was scared to death at my first "meet and great" but I was fortunate to have met David and Natalie about a month before so I at least felt like I "knew" someone. I had decided to tell anyone that wanted to know that I had this surgery. Our bodies change so fast that people know something is up and I prefer they come to me and ask instead of talking about it or me behind my back. I do not know what to tell you about the pics. Maybe you could just keep a watchful eye and hide? LOL. Hopefully we will see you soon! Tammy

Chrystal, Your decision to keep this to yourself is your decision . We would love to meet you too . There are ways to get you out to a support group or to a meet and greet if you wanted to attend . We are family here . Each and everyone of us . Yes we tend to disagree sometimes, we love each other .. support each other .. but we would not breach your confidence if coming out to meet us is what you wanted to do . There are some that kept this surgery secret until after it was over . I personally know someone that this is a big factor that her family not know . But she still attends my support group ..and she particapates here . You can always comeout and make it clear NO PICS .. and trust me sweety we would keep to our word . We will respect your decision . Do not let that keep you from the support that you so are longing for... This is the best group of people in the World in my book .. and would embrace you with more love than you would know what to do with . Give it some thought .. Much love and respect . Natalie

Crystal....Oh Honey, I know what you are going through. We want to meet you too and like Nat said, we will not take any pictures unless you want to be included. This is such a wonderful support group and I have made some beautiful friends on this site...they are now my family and I love them all. We all have such a common bond and the love with these people is amazing. Support, caring, loving, it is all here. Welcome to the group, Sweetie...We are here for you. Hugs, Betsy

Crystal- I completely understand your desire to keep things confidential until you're comfortable. I am not telling more than a handful of people that I am getting this done and most of them only know because they are my Drs. or unavoidable (like my boss for time off work, mom and hubby). That said...I'm here...I have a pic. The way I see it is this. Unless people know to come looking for me, they won't bother to find me. We use names that don't reveal too much (there are millions of Christina's in the world) so that a google search won't find us. The support I get from here and in "live" groups is too valuable to give it up. Besides, eventually people will know simply because of the changes you will be going through. I realize that a lot of the people I'm choosing not to tell now will find out when certain things take place (work people will wonder why I've been out of work for so long....friends will wonder why I eat differently when we go out....my body will change and that may tip them off to what has happened). I may not be able to control it all, but for me...this is how I'm choosing to conduct my journey. It's my decision, and I don't want to hear their opinions...at least not yet. SO...I say, post away on the boards (no picture necessary)....go to live support groups (I don't recall pictures being taken at any of ours!) and as for the meet and greet....listen to Natalie (Tink)...she's an organizer of the event and would be the best one to know how to handle that. Best Wishes! Christina S.

Thank you so much Tammy, Nat and Betsy. Natalie, you said it - I am "longing" for support. It is a tough road I have chosen, and to not have anyone I can share with is very hard. I will continue to give it some thought... Crystal

Chrystal , Christina is so right . I want you to be comfortable . And I know how important your decision is . Think about it .. and let me know . Please feel free to email me personally for any issues that you may want to talk about or have questions on . I do a lot of One on One mentoring .. as well as group mentoring . There are so many things I can send you to help you get ready for this . Email me at [email protected] Remember .. we are here for you .. Love , Natalie

Thanks Nat, I e-mailed...

Christina, thanks - I think our posts crossed in space! I know everyone has their own cir****tances and lives - especially when it comes to whether to share this surgery or not. For myself, I have always been extremely private with my weight struggles, and just wasn't willing to put it out there for people to judge, share their opinions, etc. I'm also in a position where I didn't have that many people that would "have" to know, like an employer or co-workers. For those who did start taking notice and wanted to know what I was doing, I just said eating a "high protein diet" and exercising my brains out, both of which are entirely true! Now after losing 130 lbs. most people are getting used to the new me, and there are fewer comments and questions, which is fine with me. I haven't been to live support groups because, again, I wanted my anonymity in a relatively small town....... and I haven't been to a meet 'n greet because of the pics! I hope things go really well for you Christina and thanks for sharing your feelings and experience! Crystal

Crystal, I TOTALLY understand where you are coming from. I didn't post a picture for a very long time. My neighbor had this done and she joined but didn't actively get involved with the board. I did not want any of my neighbors finding out because they are so "gossipy"....but one day finally decided to do it. When the time is right for you or if it ever becomes right you will know. You say this is a huge issue for you. Do you know what all the issues are? Mine was that I was embarrassed about how chunky I had become and didn't want some people that I knew to know I had surgery because of their negative energy about it. Email me if ya wanna talk. And nooooo..you are not alone. Dana