need hope and support

Ok...I am putting it in writing to help me face it. I need this weekend more that you can imagine. I have developed a problem with my pain meds. Yes I have had stomach problems the last few days but I think it is more the combo of meds than any thing. Have thrown everything away, talked to Ken, called to make appt with Doc, talked to my boss(who is also a friend of 14 yrs and is trustworthy), and tomorrow will talk to my Mom. I am an effing mess. I bathe every few days, quit wearing make up and have even stopped wearing jewelry which sounds funny but those who know me , know that is big for me! I am exhausted faking that all in hunky dory. Will detox today and tomorrow and head to Htown on Fiday!

I know from others that the biggest step is admitting the problem so I have turned to you because you all have been here for me in the past and you all will understand. We didn't get here by having non-addictive personalities. I have overcome drinking, smoking, my weight and many other things and I know I can overcome this. I am scared mostly for the future.

Mostly the fear lies in what will happen in the future if I develope another belly issue will people wonder if it is real or my addiction and are there non-narcotic pain relivers I can take.

Thank you all for reading,I know some of you will think oh God Meggie with another problem will it ever stop but know I feel that way too. I have started to wonder if I should have had the surgery in the first place and my heart still says yes. Ken thanks all of you for your support too. He appreciates so much the love and support you have all given us over the past few years. Isn't it nice I have such a loving supportive hubby, AI am so blessed he found and rescued me!! I am also blessed to have all of you in my life.

Meggie

I just can't imagine the courage it takes to talk about this.  You have gone thru so much and you just keep on going.  I think all of us could only hope to be as strong as you are.  I am not very good at writing my feelings down, but I just wanted you to know how much I think of you.  I hope to meet you this weekend and just give you a big hug!!

I am looking forward to that big hug!!I don't know how strong I am, i just keep on going! Learned that from my Mom.Thank you for your kind words they aregreatly appreciated!

Meggie

Hey Girl!

You're right, the first step is to KNOW there's an issue. The second step is to start solving it....   see you're already on phase two!

Please don't be ashamed.... with all that you've been through who could blame you for taking meds in the first place?!?? I don't know how hard or easy it is to go through the next step of your journey but I am here for you!!!

I'll be in Htown waiting for you with a big hug!!!

Love you girl!
Tracey

Thank you Tracey, you are always such a wonderful spark in my life! I will get through this, it is scary but with you guys having my back I can get through anything!

Meggie

Darlin' you're gonna be so covered up in hugs this weekend! I can't wait to see you again, you're one of the reasons I'm going this year. Our first meeting is just a blur, I was so overwhelmed last year. I know how hard you've worked and the things you've been through this year and frankly I'd be surprised if you didn't have a problem with all the meds they've pumped in you. So you keep your head high, you can be proud you've recognized there is a problem and already are working on the fix for it. And get those skinny little arms out in huggy position!!!

Arms out and ready! I have really enjoyed watching your journey this past year! You have done a fabulous job! We will chat in Htown.

Meggie

Meggers - you know we love ya honey!

Get right, get real and get to Houston!!  We'll all be right there to show you some love!

Thank you Jodie...if you need to whip out your big stick on me please do just pad it a little because I'm "delicate"!! Hee heehee!
hug ya Friday,
Meggie

 Meggie,
  Although we have never met, I read your posts all the time. I am not going to make it to Houston so I am sending you a cyberhug ((((((((((((()))))))))))))).  I know how hard it is to admit it when we have a problem. You are admitting your problem and starting to find a solution. That is the hardest part. But you can do it and we are all pulling for you. I know that you can do this. Don't forget to come here to let us know how we can help. Hope you have a good time this weekend and let everyone hug you and embrace you. It will help...Lynn