Regain

I've recently received some PM's from friends asking for my help because they've had some regain and after giving it careful consideration I decided to make a post about it.

OK time for some tough love here...My heart is breaking to see so many of my friends and fellow WLS buddies experiencing regain.  I am friends with most of them on FB, in real life and on here and there are several things that I've noticed:

1.  They have left OH and "in real life" support groups
2.  They eat out in restaurants a LOT
3.  They don't OWN their regain-it's always "I hurt myself", "I've been under a lot of    stress", "It's only 15 lbs"
4.  They drink WAY too much alcohol.
5.  They make poor food choices and rationalize what they're eating.  (I ate the fried chicken but I skipped the bisquit)
6.  They don't follow the WLS RULES.
7.  They graze all day instead of eating regular meals.
8.  They don't log their food in a diary/journal
9.  They stopped exercising
10.  They forgot about portion control and using small plates.

SO the question is what can we do to HELP??  We all have too much time and money invested in WLS to gain it all back.  Watching so many of my friends go thru this TERRIFIES me.  I'm 3+ years out and it is around this time that people start going down the slippery slope to regain.  Is anyone interested in a thread just to help those with regain?  I don't have the answers but I know that so many people need to make the COMMITTMENT to start NOW before it's too late.  Maybe the OH conference will help people to become motivated to "get back on track".   Maybe just a simple committment to post on Paige's "accountability thread" each day will help.  I don't have all the answers but I see the problem and it terrifies me that I too will experience a significant regain now that my hunger has dramatically increased from the days of old.  I miss the way it was "in the beginning".   Anyway, let me know if anyone's interested. 

Awesome Stephanie! I know what you're talking about. I know that come the end of January that I am going to have to figure out eating again as well. That terrifies me! I've gained 13lbs so far and almost 3 of that is baby. My eating is different somewhat now than it was 6 months ago. I try to stay cognisant of eating healthy now so that I don't lose my mind and end up gaining. I also had to increase my calories though, so come January I am going to have to give up those extra portions. Wrapping my mind around GAINING weight has been hard. I am ALL OVER making a committment as soon as I can.....and I will probably need your tough love and the support of OH.

Traci,
I'm so there with you...I stepped on the scale today...I am only 16 weeks as of today and have gained 12 pounds. I don't understand. First trimester can't eat anything and only gained 4 pounds. Now that the 2nd trimester hit and morning sickness subsided, I find I am having to eat almost every hour or I feel horrible...Thank goodness I go to the doc tomorrow...but I know I need to find better things to eat too.

What kind of things are you eating? (if you don't mind me asking).

I am scared for after the baby comes and knowing I have to go back to basics and start all over again-retrain myself. But I'm hoping I can find support in my friends to help me keep on track  :-)

Thanks!
-Jessica

Hey Jess-

I eat breakfast - yogurt, cheese, milk, eggs, etc (whatever strikes me at the moment really- breakfast is hard for me to palate) I will also stop and get a starbucks latte (decaf) on some mornings too to go along with a lighter breakfast.

I have a "snack"- usually a granola bar, cheese (if I didn't eat it earlier), pistachios, almonds, or shredded wheat, and milk or OJ  about 10ish

Lunch- usually left overs from the night before. Today I am eating a salad from the salad bar at work. Tomorrow I will bring baked chicken, carrots, and potatoes. I am eating bigger portions than normal so it takes me a while to get it down.

"snack" again- same choices as before- about 2ish

Dinner- tonite is baked chicken, carrots and potatoes

"snack" around 8ish- milk or OJ, breakfast bar, cookie, apple slices, or banana

My dilemma isn't so much the choices I make but the portions I am having to consume. If I don't eat enough I find myself sick or having heartburn. It's hard getting in 1200-1300 calories a day too. I know that I am getting in a ton of dairy too, its easier to get calories in and i know that I need dairy right now. I am hoping that the want for milk and such will go away after he gets here. I am also hoping that if I can't nurse that I won't be starving if I don't get in 1200 calories either.

For breakfast I'm having an egg and cheese sandwhich...it fills me up. I know I shouldn't do the bread, but honestly it's probably the healthiest thing I eat.

The rest of the time, I just go with whatever doesn't make my tummy turn.
I've tried the lunch meat and cheese, yeah no...
I can't do any kind of salads, that hurts worse than a super high dose of sugar.

Nuts are good, but don't seem to fill me up.
I find myself eating a lot of those cereal/milk bars...

This pregancy has me craving sugary foods big time...that and mexican food. I think I went through 3 dozen tamales in a week once (but that was eating 1-2 at a time for breakfast lunch and dinner).

I wish so many foods didn't disgust me right now...I sure hope it gets easier....

Thanks for the info  :-)

Steph,  thank you so much for saying what so many want to say.

Please understand that it is truly truly PAINFUL to see and hear what is happening and feel helpless. And it is extremely scary to think that it can happen at any point.

The tool we were given is a gift and if we don't use it, we won't lose it.

Thanks Tracey and Becky.  Another thing that bothers me is how many of the people that helped me along the way on MY journey are no longer good role models.  They have either had significant regain or they are really struggling with cross addictions of drugs and/or alcohol and some have also had serious issues from not taking their vitamins.  This is NOT meant to bash people, just point out how very HARD this whole thing is and that it could easily happen to anyone of us.  This is why I really want us to keep supporting each other and to never lose sight of the fact that we're just a simple step away from failure....this is definately NOT "taking the easy way out".

Yanno, it's sure NOT easy I'll say that.  For the most part, I've kept my weight at a steady number for 5 1/2 years now but it takes lots of work.  I'm staying in a 5 lb range and up 3 from the top of my goal range so yes I still feel very fortunate to not have regained more.  Grazing is there almost daily, some days I'll make good choices other days it's horrible.

I've also gotten lax on daily vitamins (24+ a day) and need to regroup and get them in.  I've been dealing with a lot of family matters, school, kid activities, and not taking care of myself.  I feel at this point I'm way out of the realm of WLS reality and NEED to consciously regroup and do the right thing.  I'll be honest, some days I wonder why I've been successful?  It isn't because I've been compliant that's for sure. 

Struggling daily with liquid intake, it makes me sick in the stomach to drink (ANYTHING, yes coffee too).  So I'm about >< this close I believe to needing IV fluids and trying to not go there. 

I'm terrified also, Steph........often I say to myself "what the he(( are you doing?" and "WHY?". 

I know what to do, why I need to do it but don't do it.  How about that for a food addict?

Great post Stephanie!!

This is exactly why I started my support group.  I had just made it to my goal weight and suddenly I was terrified!!!  I have spent my whole life dieting and trying to be "normal"!  How do I maintain!!!  The hard work was not in losing the weight... it's keeping it off that is hard!!!  We have to work at it everyday.

It seems that most support groups run by doctors and/or hospitals focus on preops and those who have just had surgery.  They have forgotten about those of us who no longer fit into those categories!!  I'm all for giving something back... if someone can learn from my experiences great!  But what about what I need!!! 

It does break my heart to see so many struggling... but I also know I could be right there with them in no time if I let my guard down.

Thanks for posting this Steph!