Comparing Myself to Others

I have major issues with comparing myself to a co-worker at the office.  Not sure why I do this, but I do and I hate myself for it.

I've asked myself many times....   Why do I do this??? 

Well.....it's because she can go the entire day without eating or even thinking about food.  I'm SOOO jealous of this. I feel like I'm constantly struggling to keep myself from compulsively eating.  For her....it's nothing, completely effortless.  I wish I was like that.

Well....guess what?  This is working against me and drives me nuts, food-wise.  This thinking makes me eat.... because I'm comparing myself to this person and I feel guilt and/or shame for wanting to eat. 

 What can I do to change this?  How do I break this bad/self sabotaging habit?

 

It sounds like you know you shouldn't compare yourself to her since everyone is different and unique.  There is  probably someone way ,more knowledgeable than me on this topic.  There are a few people out there like that and I wish I was one, but alas, I am not, just like you.  Planning your food is probably the best way to combat those feelings/urges.

Karla

Well don't feel bad about comparing yourself. Since there are so many folks at my work that have had surgery I find myself doing the same thing. It's almost like a competition between us all. To tell you the truth though I don't think that going all day with out eating is a good thing? How do you know that it's "completely effortless?"  I could go all day and not eat too! In fact that's what got me into the fat mess I was before surgery. I would go home and hide where no one could see me eat and make up for lost time! I felt horrible.  Drop the guilt and shame and eat what ya know your suppose to at the times your suppose to. Then feel proud that you are gaining healthy habits. We can do this...you can do this!

Lisa,

I realize how hard it is NOT to compare yourself to others, and to wish that it was just that easy for you that it seems like others have it. We set ourselves up with this self-sabatoging message because then we take the focus off the food itself, and actually become consumed by it instead. It's a cycle that SHAME/GUILT likes to use. The shame/guilt sets you up to compulsively eat or shamefully eat or not eat.

The first thing that I would suggest is finding a good support system that would understand this cycle, and to talk thru it with in the moments. It's not EASY by any means or simple- it takes work.

Second, getting in with a good counselor to talk with and can focus on the thought/behavior cycle. It's old messages of what we tell ourselves that actually sabatoge us. It's not the comparing yourself to the other person its the message we tell ourselves about that comparsion- for instace: you compare yourself to someone who is "slim" eating a piece of cake- and you may tell yourself "I am never going to be able to be happy and eat cake because I am fat" or something along that line... (think about the message you tell yourself).

Third, sit in the feeling that you are feeling and experience do not mask with the food.

I am not sure if this makes sense as I am trying to type it out at this time.

Food is not about being "good" or "bad" or "right or "wrong" - food is fuel for our bodies and we have to have and within healthy eating. Get under the issues of the food and deal with the feelings you are trying to avoid. You are worthy just because of WHO you are - not by what you do or what you eat.

I hope this helps in someway- email me if you have questions!
Best of luck,
Jessica

I just want to chime in with something a previous poster touched on. There have been many times in my life where I kept up the illusion that I wasn't eating and didn't care about food - to the point that people were concerned for my health. They thought I was starving because they never saw me eat. Little did they know, I was eating, but I was totally hiding it due to shame/guilt about my weight. Your co-worker can't possibly be completely not eating - and she may be hiding it, as well. Even if she knew what a negative effect her behaviour was having on you, I bet she would keep up the facade because this is such a fierce personal demon (at least for me). Hell, I even had myself convinced I didn't eat much - heh...

Anyway, just something to think about - hang in there, ok?