Openly Jealous Anyone?

 As you all know I posted pictures yesterday for my 5 month post-op. I sent the pictures in an email to a select few co-workers and thanked them for helping in my journey so far. Some of them are either pre or post op themselves. One of the individuals congratulated me and then openly said "I'm really jealous of you and the others that have had the surgery and are doing so well." I didn't quite know how to respond to this. The person went on to say that they had asked their PCP about the surgery for themselves and met with "You don't need that...jus****ch what you eat..." speech. I now feel kinda uncomfortable around this person since they said this. It's like I  kinda of feel a bit guilty that I was able to get the surgery and they have not. Anyone have this type of reaction from someone?

Yes and no - I work with two other ladies who have had WLS, but neither chose to have RNY, they both had lap bands and unfortunetly, neither has been successful in reaching their goals.  In fact, one of the ladies had lost over 60 pounds and has put all of it on and then some. She still had 40 to go before reaching her goals originally.   The other lady has stalled and can't seem to get more weight off while still having 70 lbs. to lose.

So, when the subject comes up, they have both told me they're jealous and wishing they had chosen the RNY.   What I remind them is that none of it is magic and I still have to work to keep  my weight off just as I WORKED to get the weight off.

But yes, it can make me uncomfortable too, so I know how you feel.

Perhaps you can re-frame the conversation to what you're doing to get the weight off and how you intend to keep it off.   When I talk with family members, I tell them (and fully mean it), that you can lose the weight without surgery, but it's going to take a lot of work - and then I take the time to explain how to do it.

Challenge is, most people THINK they will FAIL, so they do... Sometimes it really is mind over matter.

Hi Laura,
Tell your friend not to give up.  We've all heard that speech from our PCPs.  She's gotta push through and stand up for herself.  Offer to go see her PCP with her to give her support.  Congrats on your success! 

Unfortunately, weight issues push a lot of emotional buttons with people and you are going to get a wide range of responses and weird comments because of your success.  Just keep in mind that it is not about you but THEM.  Your success highlights their own failures and makes them feel bad.

I had a good friend who told me of two ladies who had RNY and gained it all back - that was her only comment - to tell me of two people who failed.  I hardly hear from her anymore since I reached goal and have kept it off so far *knock on wood*.

There is one lady I work with who is jealous and wants the surgery but she really isn't big enough - probably about 40 pounds overweight - and no surgeon would operate on her.

You can't control what comes out of other people's mouths - just your reaction to it!    If it makes you uncomfortable then talk about something else and don't bring it up.  You look great, btw,

Thank you! I feel a whole heap better than I did before. I was so tired of being tired!