Confusion..

Hmm I read this post during the weekend but didn't quite have enought time to post on it... However, I hate to be the bad guy but seems most of the posts make you believe once you have the surgery, your cured. But that is far from being the truth, dear. No matter which way you go - With surgery or without, you still have to fight this... You'll always have to fight this. It's no different then a drinker giving up his boozes! They have to struggle everyday not to touch the bottle again. It's no different then a smoker giving up his ciggs! They, too, struggle everyday not to touch another pack. But guess what? It's no different for a food addict. Whether you have the surgery or not - It's NOT by anymeans some magic cure thats gonna make you NOT want to eat. Food will always be an important part of your life, but its an addiction we all have to fight. I'll be honest about something; Head-hunger and stress-eating has been the hardest thing I've ever had to overcome. Hell, I even leave most my food at my parents house.... So one, I can walk over there and get it, which is adding movement to my day! LOL! And two, it doesn't tempt me to want to see what I can and can't eat. Another thing, I might had - The surgery part was a breeze for me. I knew it was something I had to do.... But your never ready to give up your best friend, which of course was/is/will always be FOOD. It was there when I was mad, depressed, sad, happy, whatever! So hon - I completely understand where your sister is coming from. My whole family was the same way but they knew deep down, I had to do something before one day I just didn't wake up. I do understand with all my heart - how much your family's opinions matter to your deicsion because guess what? I was the SAME WAY! But at the end, the final decision is yours and ONLY YOURS! It's your body and it's YOUR LIFE! And you know what else? My mom still believes I should of went back to weigh****chers! Why? Because I had lost 130 pounds on my own, through that program in a year. I lost all my will power and I gained it all back and THEN SOME! However, she'll never understand why I lost my will power and I will never tell her or anyone else the truth but that's a whole different story! Good luck with your decision! Follow your heart and realize your doing this for YOU and only you! If your trying to do it for someone else or to be skinny or whatever - Your really doing it for the wrong reasons. -Katie

Dear Sweet Katie, First off, let me tell you, you're NOT the bad guy! I posted my struggles here because I wanted and needed input from people like yourself who have been there and KNOW what to expect. Like I have said in my profile and in the message boards, I have researched WLS since 1997 and believe me I KNOW even with the surgery I will have to change the old ways and that it will forver be a demon for me to overcome. Truth is we all love food or we would never have gotten to the point we felt we had to take such drastic measures right!? I truly do NOT expect it to be EASY and I do not think anyone here thinks so either..I got what they meant by it being something that HELPS them in the struggle but it in no way CURES the problems alone. I will be totally honest here and for once express out loud what my biggest fear is for myself post-op.. 1) I am a total coke finatic, whenever I am thirsty it is the first thing I go for. 2) Cheese..anything I can put cheese on I do it and lots of it. 3) and I LOVE subway sandwhiches..I am a creature of habit and I always get the same thing..roast beef double cheese lettuce tomatoe onion black olives and double mayo with cucumbers on top. 4) and the altime worst fear is the excess skin..that truly scares me to death.. if and when the day comes when I DO accomplish the full loss I want to achieve, I wonder if I will hate myself more then or the way I look now. I know inurance would never cover plastics and unless the intense daily pain goes away I do not work anymore so do not see how to raise the kind of money it will take to self pay it. sooo That is where my fears reside. I am not a huge meat person so if I give up meat I am fine with that. I am not a big sweets person thank god, I usually have one craving a month and a small brownie with walnuts cure that for me til next mth. I have never been able to sit and eat alot of candy at a time..I could buy a bag of carmel chocolates or something like that and put it in a drawer and still have alot of it left a few mths later. (unless my girls or hubby found it lol). I truly believe my biggest problem has always been in the fact that I would live on ciggs and coffee and coke all day long..then at night when I fixed dinner for the family I would lose my appetite cooking it, so would not eat until about 9 or 10 pm and then do absolutely nothing the rest of the night except sit and watch tv or read.. no activity whatsoever to burn any calories etc. I have never been one to sit and eat until the food was gone, I can honestly say I am not someone who sits and eats a bag of chips in a day, or anything like that.. but I eat the wrong kinds of food, alot of starchy stuff and I eat at the wrong time of day and get very little exercise. I have been to many doctors who have told me to stop doing that because eating one time a day has destroyed my metabolism, that I needed to eat atleast 3 normal healthy and well balanced meals a day to get it going ..but for me, it was very hard to do that as I am never a day person and I couldnt possibly imagine eating during the day. And I have learned over the last couple of years to HIDE myself away and never get out of my house anymore so the activity was almost nonexistant for me. SO i guess we all have our own weird little habits and routines we will have to force ourseves to change. I do NOT believe this surgery is an EASY out or CURE! I do not expect it to be anything like that. My bad habits is what will kill me in the end IF I do not follow the rules and relearn to eat , the RIGHT way after surgery! Thank You for voicing your thoughts here.. I do value EVERY comment made to me here..it does help alot to hear from all of you because everyone is different and experiences may vary in some degree.. I love and appreciate ALL of you here even if the answers to the questions sometimes hurt a bit..tough love is a good thing! I have always been a firm believer that honesty is the best policy no matter how much it hurts..I would always rather someone come to me and say you look like **** than to tell me hey you look great today, if it is not the truth. It never helps me when they lie to spare my feelings or etc and then find out down the road that it was all lies.. make sense? enough for now, sorry if I bored anyone.. love and hugs Dawn ultimately I made my decision when I sat and made out my family medical history and saw the results in black and white.. maternal grandmother died from cancer at age 64 maternal grandfather died from massive stroke in his 60's paternal grandmother died from a heart attack at 82 paternal grandfather died from a lung anurism after fighting cancer for years as well..in his 70's. and My own mother died from cancer at 49 years old. I honestly cant remember a time when my mama was not ill.. My father is batteling hypertension and congestive heart failure ..he is now 64. Many aunts and uncles have died from cancer, diabetes related illnesses etc so if these do not wake me up, nothing will. I do NOT want to die at a young age! I want to see my children graduate highschool, and marry and see my grandchildren!