Can you please share with me????

Hi Friends, first let me thank you all for being so helpful to me in my journey. It's hard to imagine that it's been almost 4 years since my surgery! I have been developing a lecture regarding the insensitivity of the public towards the obese. I am doing this for several reasons.....to educate healthcare workers, to lobby for obesity discrimination to be prohibited by the ADA, to educate the public at large to the plight of this last socially acceptable bastion of open and rampant discrimination, etc. Right now all I have to go on is my own experience and I was wondering if you could help me to help others by sharing your experiences with me. I know it might be painful but maybe with all of us putting forth an effort it will be worth it in the end. I'll go first and share one of my most hurtful experiences. When I weighed 263 I interviewed for a job as a receptionist at a popular radio station. Because it was for a receptionist position, the interviews were all done over the phone. You mailed or faxed in your resume and then everything was done over the phone so they could evaluate your phone skills and dealing with the public. I made it all the way down to the final two applicants and was invited in for a meeting with the president. Even at 263 pounds I took great pains with my appearance and fixed my hair and makeup and wore nice, professional clothing. I arrived at the office and saw that the other applicant was a tiny lady who was very pretty. When the president came out he literally looked at me first and then looked at her. He walked up to me, shook my hand, told me he didn't think they had anything for me and hoped I hadn't been inconvenienced by coming in. He then took the other lady by the hand and ushered her into his office. I almost felt sorry for her. He was practically drooling over her. I left the office in a conflicted mess. I was happy that I didn't have to work for an ignorant man like that. But, I was devastated because he had totally discounted my intelligence and my abilities because I was morbidly obese. I felt worthless. I was too ashamed to tell my family what happened and I lied to them and said I'd had a great interview but he must've like the other lady better. It wasn't until I'd had WLS that I shared this experience with them. The really terrible thing about this is that this scenario and worse is played out over and over each day with morbidly obese individuals. Can you share your experiences with me? I know I'm only one person and I don't expect to change the world but I figure even the mighty oak started out as one little nut. So, this little nut is seeking your help. Thanks again for being a wonderful, supportive WLS family!

Hi Rona. Thats a sad story and I thank you for sharing it with us. Just today while driving on the interstate I found myself rehashing all the horrible things people had said to me over the years. My ex husband used to tell me how fat, ugly and worthless I was every time he was upset. I recalled my thin sister telling me how happy she was that I was chubby in highschool. She said had I been thin she'd never have gotten any dates. I realize she meant it as a compliment but it sure didnt hit me like one. My good friend Kim and I used to frequent a country/western club together. She once told me that men only paid attention to me because of my long blond hair. That comment made me feel like Cousin It from the Addams family. My oldest daughter has come home from school upset because her classmates told her how fat her mom was. And like many of us, I had some teenage kid at the video store ask when my baby was due. My response was 4 years ago, shes at home. Once while shopping in a well known department store I stopped a sales associate to ask if something was available in my size. She looked me up and down, and said your kind is back there, pointing to the back corner of the store. The list goes on and on. After about 20 minutes of all this recollection I was in tears. Insensitive people are mass produced in the US. It sure does hurt. Thin people have NO CLUE just how fortunate they really are. Sorry to ramble. God bless and good luck! Melanie

As i read these stories I think of the difference in people we are dealing with here. You CAN lose weight but they can not change their narrow way of thinking. If narrow thinking was as visible as we, the obese are, the group would be very large indeed. Now there are some that believe, I being one of them, that having the life in the body I now have, gives me more compassion for all kinds of "outcast" people. When our weight is gone, remember WHO you are, thank the LORD there was help, and try to help the ones not yet there. I am thankful this lady is gathering the stories of intelligent, but forgotten and shuned humans. I know that I will be glad to be on the "losing side" when my time comes. I think sometimes I am overly touchy about being heavy. I am me and except for something I can not seem to beat, I am nice. Can the prejudiced folks say the same for themselves. So, keep the open hearts, we have been there, help all those you can and thank you for gathering our stories. Donna