How did you know?

I am having a very hard time making a decision whether or not to have the gastric bypass. I have a 4 month old son. I think I am too caught up in statistics right about now. All I think about all day is that the death rate is 1 in 200. I am so worried that I will be that one and my son will be motherless, but on the other hand, I am also worried that I will have a heart attack or something and drop dead. My hubby had the RNY last September and is doing wonderfully. He didn't dwell on the negative parts like I do, he also is having a hard time understanding my fears and reservations. I know that this is a very personal decision, but how did you know that this was right for you? I am feeling kind of down about this lately, so some words of encouragement would be very helpful. Thanks, Laura

Laura, For me, I knew it was time when my Dr. told me that if I didn't do SOMETHING, he could guarantee he would see me in the O.R, or worse, AND he said he would put that IN WRITING ....now THAT made me stop and think. Anything in life that's worth having, comes with some hard work,sacrifices and risks, at least that's my humble opinion ... Anyways, you asked how I knew this was right for me, when my Doctor told me that the risk was higher if I did nothing, I decided it was time.....I'm not a loser YET, but I will be, of this I am sure....Hugs Carol

Laura, Just think you could be one of the 199 out of 200 that do well with this surgery. Aren't those odds great!!!! I was also like you but as the years have gone by it has gotten harder and harder for me to do the simple things in life. I know I'm older than you and my children are older than yours, but do it for yourself and do it so that you can enjoy their lives. The dietician in Dr. McGrath's office asked me why I wanted the surgery and I very tearfully answered...." I want to be alive to know my grandchildren and be able to play with them outside and do lots of fun physical activities with them." I also told her one of my goals was to cross my legs again. I haven't done that since I was 24. 18 years is a long time not to cross your legs. If you weigh all of the good that the surgery will do for you against that 1/200, then there should be no question. I asked at one of our meetings and was told that the "1" is the kind of person that does not want to move after surgery and doesn't follow all of the regulations that their doctor hands out. I was also told that the "1" usually has multiple debilitating co-morbidities.....you are young still and I am sure that you don't have all that many of them if any. Make the decision for a healthy life and a happy time with your husband and child. I'm here if you need someone to talk to anytime!!! Anne 8-l

Here is when I made my decision. Back in 2001 I had to be rushed to the ER because I was having problems breathing this was my first experience with having problems breathing, my nephew who was 4 yrs old at the time had to go with me. While doctors were trying to help me the nurses were keeping my nephew distracted. I heard one ask him what he wanted to be when he grew up and he stated he wanted to be a doctor. The nurse then asked him why? and he said so he could "help auntie" I just started to bawl. Ive raised my nephew since the day he came home from the hospital and for him to have said what he said means that he is worring about things that no child should be burdened with. It was then that I started to research different WLS. I have missed out on doing a lot of things with my nephew along with missing the things that I used to love to do when I weighed less. I want to have the chance to live long enough to watch him graduate HS, possibly college, and possibly get married. I also don't want him to be extra burdened with having to worry about me. So ok the current mortality statistic for gastric bypass is 1 in 200. That still means that 199 people have gotten a "second" chance. Also that mortality statistic doesn't let you know that most ppl die not from the procedure alone but because of medical conditions they had previous to having the surgery. So odds are even if the people that had died after WLS would have had a higher % of dying from the Co-morbidites they had even without WLS. Statistics are a funny thing as I found out when I took that course in college. They can skewed to say whatever anyone wants them to say. All I can say is go deep in your heart and you will know what decision you need to make regarding WLS. *huggles*

Hi Laura!! For me, I had to throw out all the national statistics and focus on MY surgeons statistics. He has an excellent record and that made me feel much safer. We all went through what you're struggling with, and its perfectly normal. The best advice I can give is to research the surgeon you choose and make sure he has an excellent reputation. You dont want to cut corners when chosing the one. Do all the research you can, and when its right you will make the decision you feel best. We all had to do the same. You are in my prayers hon. God bless! Melanie

Hi! Thank you all so much! I appreciate you all sharing these things with me. It seems that we all share similar worries of not seeing and enjoying our loved ones because of our obesity. It's nice to know that I am not alone. This board is such a great family of support!! Thanks!! Laura

Laura, You would not think twice about the surgery if it was open heart surgery. You would know that it was the only thing to save your life and go ahead and have it done. This surgery is as important to overweight people as open heart surgery is to a heart patient. I am not one to push the surgery on a person, in the end it is your decision, but can you afford not to? Susan

Your question is a good one . unfortunately each persons decision is usually something each one comes to on their own. For me, I dread the merest thought of surgery, I do not lok forward to oct 6th and I know and hate what I am going to have to give up. I am not as you can see one of tose jumping for joy on approval day. I had such mixed emotions when I got approved. wanting to be happy that my appeals had been successful and dreadiong the now inevitable surgery. Before making this decision I took stock of my life. I am in very good health for an MO person. and I am close to SO, just on the cusp. I have no high blood pressure, no diabeties, no major lung problems, nothing really to speak of other than some pitting edema in my lower legs from poor ciculation. SO ok I am in good health , but I am 49 and looking down the road for me I saw what was looming at 59 and 65. yes I would love to be skinny never having been that in my entire life, but it was mainly future worries about serious health consequences that sent me on this journey. I will go kicking and screaming into the surgery and God willing emerge on the otherside better for the ordeal. DO I worry about dieing? yes and no, yes because no one want to die and the thoght of missing my daughter grow into womanhood and have kids of her own hurts more than I can say. but I also know that should that unfortunate thing occur , GOd will take me to a place where I will see her again. There is peace in that even if I must lose these earthly things in the process. It is not an easy decision, and I know as time approaches for my surgery it is going to get that muc harder. Do not feel that you are alone here, everyone goes through these feelings and you would not be normal if you did not. those that say thay never worried a minute are lieing in my opinion. I will keep you in my prayers

Hi Laura, I agree that instead of looking at the national average that you need to look at your peronsal physician and the hospital's average. I know that this surgery is performed in a lot of areas of the country where maybe the physicians were not as well trained or the patients were not as throughly screened as they are at our hospital and with our physician. The statistics here are not that high. But you are right it is a personal decision that only you can make. I know you will do what is right for you.

Laura, Have you considered the lapband? I started researching WLS several months ago & have gone from initially wanting the DS to now having the lapband (approval from my insurance pending). I can totally understand your fears. I have an 8 y/o & a 2 y/o & at this point in my MO life I was not willing to take on the risks associated w/the RNY. I started researching the lapband & was very pleased not only w/the results but with the risk factors associated w/it. I was never really at peace w/my deicision to have the RNY, but once I decided on the band I felt a peace come over me & I knew that I had made the right decision for me. If you visit the lapband forum, there are so many people on there who've had such great success w/the band. The death rate from the band is around 1 in 2000 & honestly I haven't heard of anyone dying from it that I've known. I was also very impressed w/the fact that years after your surgery you still have the band as a tool to keep the weight off & that is what I am looking for a permanent solution to my weight problem. I know how hard all of this is & the fact of the matter is it is such a personal decision, but I'd love for you to check out the lapband forum as an option before you make that final decsion. Hope that helps. Candi