A Friendly Fat Reminder
So, I went to the Y today with my best friend, he's 22, about 5'7 and weighs maybe 180 lbs. He is training daily to prepare to go to the Marines and I told him I would match him exercise for exercise. I said I may not keep up swimming and cycling but weights I was sure I could go with him.
So, we swam a lot! I cycled my first mile after matching him on every machine and every rep. I felt so proud, I checked the scales which is also a WOW MOMENT because I have never weighed on a scale that people weigh on since I was like 10. I had last 20 lbs in two weeks even though the exercise lady at Centennial, who is wonderful, told me it was normal to gain a little muscle mass when lifting weights at this point in my journey.
The thing that really demolished everything I had accomplished was the fact that I was simply not comfortable at all working out. I took off my shirt to swim and I felt like I had an anxiety attack the entire time. I just constantly was reminded that I weighed three and four times more than everyone else in that pool and workout room.
I felt completely down and out and was reminded why I probably hit the gym at 1 in the morning. I just consider this a friendly reminder to keep the cows and horses separate in this world. Does this feeling ever go away?
Another question is, does anybody else have a friend like mine... completely fit and keeps saying oh it doesn't matter, it doesn't matter what everyone else thinks. I keep saying to everyone that no one understands what I've been through, as far as being made fun of my whole life by everyone I know including close friends and family. It seems like everyone is telling me how dumb I am for feeling insecure, but they have never had to be judged by how fat they were. Any insight on any of these ramblings would be great.
So, we swam a lot! I cycled my first mile after matching him on every machine and every rep. I felt so proud, I checked the scales which is also a WOW MOMENT because I have never weighed on a scale that people weigh on since I was like 10. I had last 20 lbs in two weeks even though the exercise lady at Centennial, who is wonderful, told me it was normal to gain a little muscle mass when lifting weights at this point in my journey.
The thing that really demolished everything I had accomplished was the fact that I was simply not comfortable at all working out. I took off my shirt to swim and I felt like I had an anxiety attack the entire time. I just constantly was reminded that I weighed three and four times more than everyone else in that pool and workout room.
I felt completely down and out and was reminded why I probably hit the gym at 1 in the morning. I just consider this a friendly reminder to keep the cows and horses separate in this world. Does this feeling ever go away?
Another question is, does anybody else have a friend like mine... completely fit and keeps saying oh it doesn't matter, it doesn't matter what everyone else thinks. I keep saying to everyone that no one understands what I've been through, as far as being made fun of my whole life by everyone I know including close friends and family. It seems like everyone is telling me how dumb I am for feeling insecure, but they have never had to be judged by how fat they were. Any insight on any of these ramblings would be great.
The reason they always say this is a journey and the reason most of us are drawn to this Support Group is we've been there done that.
It's hard for those to understand when they've never walked in your shoes.
My older brother is like your friend fit in the gym every day never had to fight being over weight and the health issues that arise from it. Even though he loves me he would hound me to get in shape. I knew he couldn't understand because he never walked in my shoes.
But through this journey you will be constantly evolving re-inventing yourself.
But one day and it might be long after you reach goal weight you will see your self as Jason not Big Guy or Big Jason just Jason!
The way strangers who never knew you any other way but thin look at you.
It takes time there's mountains and valleys on this journey people who love you say thing that you can't understand like you don't need to loose any more weight etc. etc.
So just remember the outward changes come quick it just takes others and yourself time to change a life time of knowing you one way.
Keep doing what your doing the rest will fall in place.
C'ya Bob
It's hard for those to understand when they've never walked in your shoes.
My older brother is like your friend fit in the gym every day never had to fight being over weight and the health issues that arise from it. Even though he loves me he would hound me to get in shape. I knew he couldn't understand because he never walked in my shoes.
But through this journey you will be constantly evolving re-inventing yourself.
But one day and it might be long after you reach goal weight you will see your self as Jason not Big Guy or Big Jason just Jason!
The way strangers who never knew you any other way but thin look at you.
It takes time there's mountains and valleys on this journey people who love you say thing that you can't understand like you don't need to loose any more weight etc. etc.
So just remember the outward changes come quick it just takes others and yourself time to change a life time of knowing you one way.
Keep doing what your doing the rest will fall in place.
C'ya Bob
Bob, that was an excellent response... and so true. It is amazing, the more I read in online support groups, how the same types of feelings, questions, topics come about... and it is almost as if the person who originally posts such a question just wants to make sure they are "normal". That is why it is very important for us to be in support groups, so that we can have our feelings validated and know that we are not alone!
We're on vacation this week at the beach... and yesterday I saw a lady who was tall, yes overweight but she did not appear to be a candidate in my opinion. Just needed to lose 50 lbs. She was fully clothed and it was SO hot!! I wanted to just tell the lady, "Honey, just peel off those clothes! No one cares if you are overweight! YOU care if you are overweight and worry what others think, but screw them!" Go**** was so incredibly hot out there.... I would not have cared if the lady stripped down to her bra and panties and jumped in!
But then, there was that overweight person on the inside of me that kept feeling so insecure that I had a hard time walking the beach in my swimsuit... I asked Mike, "if you did not know I was overweight, would you look at my legs and see how saggy they are?" Of course, he said NO... but then later when we went out and I was wearing a strapless sundress, I kept feeling like, "Oh gosh, I need some clothes on. People will see me." There are still those little thoughts here and there, but as we push past them, they get fewer and farther between though they are always still there in the back of our minds.
We're on vacation this week at the beach... and yesterday I saw a lady who was tall, yes overweight but she did not appear to be a candidate in my opinion. Just needed to lose 50 lbs. She was fully clothed and it was SO hot!! I wanted to just tell the lady, "Honey, just peel off those clothes! No one cares if you are overweight! YOU care if you are overweight and worry what others think, but screw them!" Go**** was so incredibly hot out there.... I would not have cared if the lady stripped down to her bra and panties and jumped in!
But then, there was that overweight person on the inside of me that kept feeling so insecure that I had a hard time walking the beach in my swimsuit... I asked Mike, "if you did not know I was overweight, would you look at my legs and see how saggy they are?" Of course, he said NO... but then later when we went out and I was wearing a strapless sundress, I kept feeling like, "Oh gosh, I need some clothes on. People will see me." There are still those little thoughts here and there, but as we push past them, they get fewer and farther between though they are always still there in the back of our minds.
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