Body image

Question about body image.  While preparing for my RNY, I read and studied al I could find about body image and how it applies to us. 

What I heard so much of the time was even after people lose the weight, they still have an image of themselves heavy.  As a person who did not have the weight problem until adulthood, I kept thinking this would not happen to me.

I am down almost 50 pounds since I started this journey (halfway there!)but do not feel like I am any smaller.  The only way I know that weight is gone is by my scale, my clothes are almost falling me, and my sweet hubby keeps telling me how he can see the changes.

This is very disappointing to me.  Will I always feel like I am fat or is my perception of myself going to change?

Hey Nancy, Welcome to the club. I also have the same issues as you. I am down 115 in almast a year and went from a size 22 to a 6-8 pants now and I still see myself as fat. I think that this is something all or most strugle with. I think that I personally will always remember the fat chick even though she doesn't exsist anymore. I wish I had words of wisdom but I don't, I can only say you are not alone but you are doing great and you look GOOD GIRL!!!!  Keep up the good work and remember that I started at 270lbs. and at 155 now with 5 to go to goal. And my surgeon says that a woman my height should weigh between 143 and 159 so according to them I am NOT FAT ANYMORE!! What ever!

Love, Stacy

Thanks Stacy,

I guess I will continue to take this one day at a time and pray for better thoughts about myself.

I feel better but still get tired easier than pre-op.  I think I read that one of the "Bobs" didn't start to feel good until about 10 weeks.  I'm at 8 weeks so maybe I'm expecting this 60 year old bod to recover like I was still 20.  I am happy that I am down from 22/24 clothes to 16/18.

You look great (only 5 lb to go)!  How exciting.

Love

I think we all struggle with this.  I also think it may not be a bad thing to "remember the fat chick".  We certainly don't want her back!  But, as for body image, we also need to not let poor self esteem get in our way either.  Many of us allowed ourselves to get morbidly obese because of poor self esteem, some even due to previous childhood sexual abuse.  Being fat and ugly was a safety net.  Without that, there went the safety net. I happen to know of at least one person who is on the road to gaining back her weight for this very psychological reason.  Butm I digress.  Get some clothes that really fit!  Nothing baggy, maybe even a little snug!  I had to have my sister and my friend Cindy help me buy clothes at first because I was so used to buying whatever I could fit into that would hide me.  But, I have found that it something really fits, I look smaller and can see the change better.  Also, take pictures every month without fail.  It really helps to see the succession. Did I spell that right?  Hope those help!

Thanks Marilyn

I have started the photos and measurements.  Guess I need to print them so I can compare the before and after.  Maybe those will help with my body image problem.  I still feel like they are just being nice when friends tell me I look good.  Oh well, I guess we all have our own head problems!

 

Nancy, what you are feeling is normal.  Many of us feel this way.  But the more time that goes by, you will begin to get comfortable with the new you...  I'm 2 1/2 yrs out and while I have mostly "good days" and look/feel thin, I still have those days where I feel morbidly obese and think the mirror is playing tricks on me. 

Like Marilyn said, take lots of pictures.  Choose one picture to be your "comparison" such as your official before photo...  and each time you get your picture taken, put it up next to your before picture.  You will begin to see the changes in yourself... 

I used to cry when I saw the difference in pictures....and I could not believe that the "after" or most current was me.  I could really see the transformation in the photo, but not on my body when I looked into the mirror...  well, one day I placed the before/after next to one another, and wow... I started to cry... but this time, NOT because I couldn't accept the new person in the after photo, but for the first time, I pointed to the "before" picture and said "I can't believe that was me."  That was a turning point....

Another thing to remember...  imagine an ice sculpture...  and hundreds of hairdryers surrounding it... turn on the hair dryers on low and what happens?  the sculpture begins to slowly melt from all areas...  you won't notice it as much as if you were to aim all the hairdryers in one solitary spot...  that's kind of like what is happening to you...  your melting from all aspects...  your face, legs, ankles, toes, fingers, wrists...  so 50 lbs gone is from everywhere...  you might not see a big difference in the mirror yet...  its just kinda like you are just melting away...  give it time and it will continue to go down, down, down.....

Keep your chin up.  Yes, you will get to the place where you see yourself differently...  there will still be that feeling or memory of being obese...  but it just takes time to live in your new body, get comfortable with it...  and enjoy!!

Dearest Mel,

Thank you for the positive feedback.  I don't communicate much on our forum but I read it almost daily.  You folks are always so helpful to anyone needing advice or just a pat on the back. 

I was thinking that it is hard to believe I am finally losing this weight and may get to a comfortable size.  Maybe that's part of the problem.  I believe most of us didn't think we would ever be able to get to a smaller, healthier size, and we all had so many failures over the years that it was easier to give up.  I have been told I am crazy for letting a surgeon "cut into me and move around my stomach".  Maybe we are all a little crazy for doing this but it is a good craziness.  More power to the Crazies!!!

Thanks again

 

 

Wow Nancy did this post ring close to me.  I actually just talked about this with friends this week.  Brought out a pic from a few months pre surgery to compare to today.  It was actually hard for me to even absorb the pic. 

Before I truly realized I had "lost" weight my pants almost fell off.  I was at work one day and looked down.  They looked like clown pants.  My boss and I laughed....I said I think I need some new clothes--she was like "ya think?"  hahah.  I am now 150 pounds down and just slightly over 6 months post surgery.  I am so pleased with my progress.  Even more pleased with how I feel.  VSG was such a great choice for me.  But I still will catch a glimpse in the mirror or sit in a chair or see an old photo and think OH I do look different.  hahah  I have been overweight all of my adult life.  But ironically I think I never truly "saw" me as I was at my largest.  I have always been outgoing and social...flitting around doing all sorts of things.  I never really viewed my weight as an obstacle or anything wrong or bad.  And still atleast once a week I am shocked how different things are today vs 6 month ago.  I think I embraced always being the fat girl years ago and honestly was comfy with it.  Now I want to be the remaining alteast 120 down because I am just filled with anticipation to see what that LISA will look like.  I already feel so much better.  I have more energy.  LIFE is great.  I am not sure I will ever truly let FAT LISA go....she taught me early that it is about who we are on the inside not about what size clothes we wear. 

Dear Lisa, 

WOW!!!  150 pounds.  You should and must be so proud. 

That is wonderful and I now know from experience that no matter what those fools say, we did not take the easy way out!  

I am down around 50 pounds and finally realized (last night) I am feeling better and even breathing better.

Good luck on your continuing journey.

Love