The Slug, the crossdresser and the baseball player

Thought I was gonna tell a joke huh! Nope that's what I have decided to call the first three stages after plastic surgery. I am a part-time bookkeeper and even though clients push and nag to get stuff done that they just got to me....I had my surgery March 25th. 1st 4 days....the slug. My husband had to get me up to walk and eat and get to the bathroom. He would come to give me meds and ask what and how much pain killer I wanted and I would say give me the meds......I don't even remember most of those days.... 2nd stage end of week one.....get one drain out and leave the other....now the drain hangs down and I would strap it out of the way on my thigh so that I could walk comfortably.....Now picture this....I run out of extra long T-shirts and want to go to Walmart with my hubby just to get out and about......I look down at the bulge on the inside of my thigh and think I don't care but will they think I'm a shoplifter....so I ask my husband "what will people think if I go to the store like this".....his answer...."that you're a crossdresser".  I WORE A SKIRT FOR THE NEXT 3 DAYS. 3rd stage...get out 2nd drain and start realizing I'm healing...cause I'm itching......and the worst is where the second drain came out of the top of my tu tu. So here I am in public wanting to scratch and scratch...... So I'm doing great and have an hour glass figure for the first time ever. God is good. Beth B. in TN

Ok, note to self - No beverages or food allowed while reading posts on OH - too messy to clean computer screen when dissolving in fits of laughter.  Thanks for the laughs this morning - I needed them.  Glad you have done so well and can be an inspiration and guide for the rest of us that are in the beginning stages of our journey.

Been there, done that!  Bought the tshirt (men's tshirt that is)...  cause you gotta have those nice soft shirts and long enough to tuck in to your pants. Anyway...  I told Mike, I am going to get onto one of those motorized wheelchair thingies at walmart...  he was so embarrassed.  He did not want me near him!  I got right up next to him and yelled LIKE Seinfeld... "Wait! Back up, back up!" threw it into reverse and it went BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP!  Talk about embarrassing.  Then everytime something was too tall for me, I had to stand up and reach for it...  once the battery almost died.  I could have walked faster as the hunchback of notre dame (cause you know you are all hunched over after plastics lke an old lady) than I did on that cart! But I had fun..... Luckily my mom had a handicap sticker she let me use.  I was too guilty feeling and only used it 2x.  I left the parking places for people *****ally needed it...  like that strapping tall handsome man I saw the other day who parked there, and ran into Walmart... but I'm sure he needed his handicap sticker.