Dale Update

Yesterday was very up and down, however I do believe that it has ended on an up note.  I called the principal and left a message, after being up till 1:00 with Dale as he cried himself to sleep. By 9:15 I had not heard a word, therefore I called my school board member, in which I know personally, and she gave me the number to the area manager (?), he was not in the office and his assistant asked me to call the Hotline, I told her that this was beyond calling any Hotline and someone was going to take control of this situation NOW.  Well, when I explained the magnitude of the situation she called the principal herself and said that the school was in a lockdown mode, due to a random police check and she would call me as soon as she could.  I thanked her and waited, then the call came in around 11'ish.  Ready for this, the principal had no clue that I had been there on Friday either, therefore no one told anyone anything.  I was furious, but handled it with grace, I explained the situation and since the main child doing the bullying is slightly autistic, he is protected under certain laws, which in a way, seemed like Dale did not matter.  She said she took this very seriously and would "move Dale immediately if that is what I wanted".  This upset me because Dale does not do well with change, nor did I want him to think he was being punished for being bullied, in which he would have thought.  I asked “why you have to move Dale” and she replied that she was unable to move the other child, because he was mainstreamed and protected under special education laws.  I questioned this, because the school has a legal right to Dale to provide him with a safe and harassment free learning environment and it was not right to tell me that this child's rights trumped my son's rights when he is the victim in this matter.  I told her that I wanted to speak to my husband and Dale first before she did anything. This does not seem fair, if anyone was to be moved this child needs to be moved!!  Now to the better part of this situation. 

I got another call from his teacher and she had just spoken to the principal and informed her that she has already gotten the resource officer involved and he would be talking to her entire class on bullying and what could happen if they did (juvenile detention).  She also told me that she was very upset over this matter and she WOULD GET IT STOPPED!!!  She asked if she could move Dale's desk and I told her that would be fine with me and she has placed it closer to her, but not right next to her and she moved others around not to single Dale out.  She asked me if she could get Dale to write a journal of everything that happened each day, therefore we both could have a record of this and I thought that was a great idea; she also said that she would keep daily contact with me to let me know how he is doing.  Therefore, I felt better leaving him in this classroom and not moving him, after all he has always liked his teachers, it is just a choice few students that have made is life miserable.   Well while I was at lunch, I got another call from his other teacher and he left a message, stating that he would like to talk to me about a situation with Dale.  I could not get him because he was in class when I got back, therefore I did not know if something else had happened or not.  When I called back, I left him a message and told him that I would be picking Dale up and would come in and speak to him at that time.  Well an hour and forty-five minutes later, I left the school, his teacher was very concerned because he neither had been informed about the situation regarding Dale and wanted to understand what was going on.  I honestly felt that both of Dale's teachers were upset about not being told about this situation. He himself said that it too WILL BE STOPPED.  He said Dale is a wonderful child and does not deserve, as no child does deserve to be bullied and he is not going to allow it to continue.  Dale was in the hall the entire time we were talking, therefore we could talk without him listening, which I thought was best.  The guidance counselor saw me going to the teacher’s room and she came in for a few minutes and she seemed concerned, but I do believe that she realized that she and the vice principal made a HUGE mistake by not alerting Dale's teachers and following through that it was stopped and this was her attempt to cover her tail!!!  After I left, I felt much better that this is going to STOP, because both of his teachers in conjunction with the Resource Office was on top of it now!! Dale told me that the police officer/resource officer really spoke hard to the class about what could happen if they were bullying another child and Dale said each time that the resource officer spoke about this, he would look directly at this child.  Dale and his other teacher told me that this child saw that Dale was keeping a record of things and he went to this teacher and was very scared saying, " What have I done, What have I done" She said that she told him that he knew what he has been doing and that his mother was going to know and it would STOP!! Okay, I am almost through, THANKS FOR CARING enough to read this much!! When I arrived home, my cell phone rang and it was this teacher, she spoke to me about Officer Miller and what was said, she also told me that she was very upset Thursday night, because she blames herself for not noticing it, she told me that she herself was in a bullying marriage for many years and she knows the fear and pain that bullying can cause and she hates that Dale has been going through this.  She also told me that she witnessed it today for herself, this kid is SLY, just like I have been telling them, and he acted like he was going to get a book or sharpen his pencil and then say hateful harassing remarks to hurt Dale each time he passed.  I do believe she had not seen it until now and probably would have never noticed it unless she had not been told, she even admitted this, because this kid is very SLY in his actions, yes he is autistic, but he is smart, she even stated that herself.  I stressed that I thought the administration would have alerted his teachers and that I was upset when she came out on Thursday and I realized that they had not said a word, basically brushed it under the rug.  I do believe both of his teachers are very upset about this as well, both of them have stated what a wonderful child Dale is and that he is very blessed to have such parents that are supportive of him. The teacher that I spoke to for so long yesterday afternoon even stated that his is amazed at how "in-tuned" I am with Dale!!  He even told Dale when were leaving that he has a WONDERFUL MOM, but I will tell you all, it is the fact that I have such a WONDERFUL SON, that it makes being a MOM that much easier!!! I want to thank everyone for the prayers and please keep Dale in your prayers for a while as this is just the beginning of this journey, but he does have hope now!!  You should have seen how relieved and happy he seemed last night, it was daylight and dark from how he has been these past few months. He is going to start therapy on the 23rd, earliest available appointment, and maybe this will help with the damage these children have done to his self esteem!!! Love to all,  Shelia