Bullying Update

       Well, I went to Dale’s school yesterday and spoke to the Vice Principal in regards to the situation.  I remained calm, cool, and collective while explaining the seriousness of this situation.  I had Dale write down the names of the main instigators in this matter along with what they are saying and doing.  One of the kids is saying out loud so that everyone will laugh and join in is: “Dale is going to RAPE everyone and EAT them”, another i****ting him on the back in an intimidating way then when Dale looks at him, he says, “What are you going to do, you are just a Fat Wimp, Fatty”,  another child went to write Fatty on his shirt with her pink lipstick/lip-gloss, (ruined his shirt), while calling him a “GIRL”, because of his chest.  Dale moved and she only got a line on his shirt, Thank God, so he would not have had to walk around school with that on his back. 

       Now back to the meeting with the Vice Principal, she said that she did not want to call the children into the office, because they would feel that they are in trouble and this may create a bigger problem for Dale, in regards to retaliation.  Therefore, she said she would like to ask the guidance counselor to get involved, speak to the children and see if she can get them to stop, by speaking with them individually and as a group.  She did state that it would be expressed upon them that if they did not stop, they would face consequences.  Although, one of the children is slightly autistic and would require his situation to be handled differently, she asked if I understood that, I said that I did, but regardless of how it is handled, it needs to stop and NOW!!!  She understood.  I explained that I have tried to get Dale to handle this situation, but I feel that now was the time to get involved, because my son got 3 A’s and 3 B’s on his report card, well I know that sounds great, but you do not understand, this is a child that gets nothing but straight A’s and he is taking a few advanced classes and those are the one’s he got the A’s in, the others are the ones that these children are involved with and one of them is in Band.  When I asked about Band, Dale told me he can’t focus on his playing because it is the last class of the day, following these other classes and he is so upset, from everything else, he has trouble playing ( I felt soooo BAD).  Not to mention the damage this is doing to his self-esteem.  I also explained that as she knows everyone has their breaking point and I am afraid that Dale is getting close to his.  I explained that he has not expressed harming anyone, but all it would take would be Dale pushing someone when he broke and they trip, fall into the concrete brick wall, in which they could be hurt or killed.  This would harm Dale for the rest of his life if he hurt or killed someone, he would never be the same, not to mention the legal trouble.  Nor did I want to come home one day to find that my son had been so depressed due to this situation, that he took his life.  I was there to prevent these things from happening and I can't do it without them getting actively invoved in the situation.  As we all know, bullying has caused serious retaliation at other schools across the country, not that I think Dale would do anything like this, but I wanted to ensure that it did not get to that point. I sure hope she understood my point!!         Dale said they did all meet and they apologized to Dale for their actions and they were nice the rest of the day, we will have to wait and see if it remains this way, if not, I will be back.  However, the secretary at Dale’s school told me if it did not get resolve, she wanted me to let her know, because she would get Officer Miller involved, he is the school’s resource a Metro Police Officer, that is assigned to his school and he is there all day.  She herself was furious, because she said Dale is one of the best kids that they have there.  SO NOW IT IS WAIT AND SEE!!!

 

Thanks for the advice and prayers, but continue to keep us in you prayers, because even if it does stop, Dale has a long road to recover from the damage to his self-esteem.

 

Shelia

 

 

 

 

 

Sheila,
That is just horrible! I will be praying for Dale and for you to know how to support him through this. My heart goes out to him...being a kid in this day and time is not the same as it was for us when we were young.
Praying for God's hedge of protection around Dale and that he will be able to rise above all this!!
Keep us posted.
Betsy

Thanks for your words and prayers.  Yes, it is so different today than it use to be, I do believe that the cruel side of bullying has intensified to the extreme.  Children do not value life nor respect the feelings of others, everyone wants PEACE, but they do not want to act in a way that could help create it!!!

Sounds to me that Dale is a great kid and he has an unbelievably great mom.......I think that you guys are handling the situation the best way possible for now and I hope that the initial measures that the school took continues to work but if not, get the resource MPD officer involved....I know several of these guys and they truly care about these kids like they are their own and alot of times they can really help........I'll keep you guys in our prayers and you guys hang in there................. WENDY

Thanks so much for your words of encouragement and support, I know I have really been doubting my decision to let him try to handle it on his own at first.  This is something that we have been through before at the Private school that he went to, but then the teacher and principal was completely useless.  That is a story for another day!!  However, Dale lost his trust in teachers, however, last year was his first year in a public school and he had wonderful teachers, both a male and female teacher with a very supportive principal, it was a blessing!!!  The principal at the school he is attending now is very good as well, so I do believe that this will get resolved, however due to Dale's age, I was trying to get him to handle this on his own, (build his backbone to say) however, this has gotten to the point that Todd and I needed to get involved.  I also appreciate the prayers, however please keep these children in prayer as well, because they are in great need of attitude change and we do not know their support at home, so they may not have it there either!! Thanks agiain,  Shelia

I haven't weighed in on this, but guess I will. When I was a kid you took care of it yourself for me I got in fights all the time mostly defending the kid being picked on. But that was in a time when a knuckle sandwich was the worse anyone would get. But time after time kids now don't think twice in picking up a ball bat, knife or gun. Back then prejudice of all kinds were if not accepted they were tolerated. We hope with each generation we move pass this. Whether its racial, economic or physical kids need to know early on that this behavior is unacceptable. Schools need to be very sensitive to this issue and make the children involved understand at this age because it will not get better with time. Building backbone is not created by backing someone into a corner. I feel you guys did exactly what you should do morally and legally. You have a duty to protect your kids. Good Job!

Thanks, I appreciate it very much, because I sure have been beating myself up over what to do, because I did not want Dale to think Mom and Dad are going to take care of everything all of his life. We as parents always want to protect our kids, but this was time it was only getting worse and Dale was being really hurt. To the point that it could effect him long-term and we do not want anything but the best for our son and we felt like if we did not step in this time, something may happen, if not an event, Dale would be emotionally harmed!!!  It means a lot to know that hopefully we have done the right thing!!  I sure wish there was an instruction book on being a Parent!!

Hi sweetie, you did the right thing. It is really upsetting when you have to do somethingto resolve this matter. Dale is a great child and deserves better. I am so glad that someone finally listened to ya and the Secretary is look'n out for him. It is really sad how our school systems functions. Give him a big hug for us and let him know that we care. Hugs and Luv Barb

Hi Shelia,    Hope all will be better next week & continue to be that way. I feel you did what you should have. It's sad that the other kids have not been raised any better. They are probably jealous because Dale is smart.  They would probably love for their parents to come to their defense.  Usually these types of kids have a sad home life. I am from a small town & boy nothing like that would be tolerated at our school. guess it is small enough things can be handled.    Will be thinking & praying for you all.  Ellen 

I'm glad to hear all went well at the school.  I know it isn't easy being a parent in this day and time and it's no easier being a child.  For the most part, parents are very supportive of their children and give them the guidance and direction as well as the moral and value education they need.  But you do have that percentage of parents that believe their children are "good" kids and as long as they aren't in trouble with the law then let them be.  I don't feel that way.  The children that are bugging Dale evidently have not learned all the lessons at home they needed to learn before they entered the school system.  Parents have to realize a child's education begins the moment they are born and it the parents responsibility to give them that education and continue on with it until they die - yes, I said until they die.  Children can always learn from their parents regardless of their age.  As I have gotten older, I have come to realize there are a lot of parents that have the mentality that they don't care what their children are doing, where they are doing it, and who they are doing it with until that child gets in trouble with the law and then they want to blame it all on society.  It just absolutely amazes me how they think that works and they no longer have a responsibility to be the parent once their child reaches a certain age.  Ok, well, let me get off my soap box because I could go on forever about this. Shelia, I believe you and Todd did exactly what needed to be done and I applaud you for giving Dale the time to try to work it out on his own and then you all stepped in when you realized he needed reinforcement.  In the long run, Dale will come out on top - it might take awhile, but he will come out on top because he has great parents that are concerned and want him to succeed and to be a great man.  Keep up the good work and just know there are plenty of us out here that are continuing to keep him, these children, the school administration, and you and Todd in our prayers.  Hang in there and give Dale a hug for me and tell him how proud I am of him for his great grades and for keeping his cool under pressure - that speaks volumes as to the character he has and the type of man he is growing up to be.